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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28534209">Sunrise</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Corn/pseuds/Little_Corn'>Little_Corn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ATEEZ (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2ho, Angst, Arguing, Backstory, Crying, Drama, Drama &amp; Romance, Fluff, Friendship, Happy Ending, Holding Hands, Kissing, M/M, Minor Violence, Multiple Personalities, Original Character(s), Romance, Sad, Self-Discovery, Swearing, Threats of Violence, Trust, yungi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:01:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>48,023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28534209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Corn/pseuds/Little_Corn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"One moment you're smiling and the next you're swearing at me. Do you have any idea how confusing that is? What the hell do you want? Who are you?!"</p><p>"I'm not sure who I am either," Mingi replied.</p><p>Yunho stared at him, more confused than ever. He didn't know which Mingi he was looking at, and that scared him. Should he brace for another outrage? Or relax and smile back?</p><p>Things would've been much easier if Yunho knew. But he didn't. </p><p>He didn't know that Mingi had a second personality. </p><p>-</p><p>Mingi, a kind and considerate person, becomes violent and apathetic - a completely different person - at night. </p><p>Everyone thinks he's dangerous.<br/>Everyone except Yunho, who believes he knows who the real Mingi is. Will his trust pay off in their relationship?<br/>Will his unwavering love for Mingi be his salvation or his downfall?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Jongho/Jeong Yunho, Jeong Yunho &amp; Song Mingi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1. A Typical Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho works as a bank teller in the Bank of Korea. He is experienced at the job, but things really go wrong once his clients get annoyed and start shouting at him through the phone...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The brightly lit room was filled with all sorts of sounds. The rustling of papers, rumbling of printers, whirring of air conditioners, clacking of keyboards, scratching of pens, skidding of chairs, and most dominating of them all, the insistent chatter of the rows of employees guarding their work stations.</p><p>One might wonder how anyone could possibly stay sane in this chaotic environment. There was only one answer to that and it was simple: you did not.</p><p>Yunho flinched and pulled one ear of his headphones away before he could go deaf from the screeching static on the other end. He had no idea what the customer was saying, but at least he could discern from the high-pitched voice that he was talking to a woman.</p><p>"Ma'am, I'm afraid you'll have to call again. The phone reception is not very good-"</p><p>The woman screamed again, her words all morphed into sadistic demon noises by the time they reached Yunho's ears. Yunho sighed, repeated what he said in the most patient tone he could manage, and then hung up.</p><p>He practically ripped off his headset once the phone call ended and threw it carelessly onto his keyboard. He was so used to being here that he barely registered the ambient noise of the office - all he heard was his ears thanking him for being relieved of the suffocating headphones.</p><p>The person sitting across from Yunho's desk gave him a sympathetic look over the low partition before turning his attention back to his own headset, which was still sitting snugly around his head and ears.</p><p>Yunho rolled his eyes at his colleague and best friend, Jongho. They met in the first year of work here in Bank of Korea, and it was both their third year of being a bank teller.</p><p>Yunho couldn't see himself spending his mid-twenties talking to irritating old folks who didn't know how to press a single button on their phones, but he had to deal with what he was given. And that happened to be a decent salary in his case.</p><p>"Get back to work, Yunho." The manager of the phone support sector walked past Yunho's seat and placed a big hand on the employee's slim shoulder, patting it two times.</p><p>Knowing he only escaped scolding because of his three-year friendship with the manager, Yunho straightened his body and picked up his headset. Before putting it back on, he braved a look over his shoulder and saw his boss walking away while keeping a vigilant eye on his subordinates.</p><p>Kim Hongjoong was a scarily competent man for his age, but being only a few years older than Yunho meant that he was considerate and understanding of their mentally draining job.</p><p>Yunho licked his dry lips as he waited for his next call to connect. His ears, trapped under the cushions, were already protesting due to the heat and discomfort.</p><p>The dialling sounds cut off abruptly and the banal line of greeting came automatically out of Yunho's mouth like always. "Hello, how may I help-"</p><p>"Finally! A person I can talk to," a gruff voice interrupted.</p><p>Yunho was used to being unable to finish his sentences, but what worried him wasn't the customers' lack of manners. No, it was the tangible frustration from the other end that made him tense his shoulders, because he had picked up enough phone calls to know instantly - from the very first spoken word - whether the caller was going to be mean, or less mean.</p><p>Unfortunately, more often than not the answer was the former. You see the worse in people in this line of work, and everyone in the room knew that.</p><p>"...thirty minutes to get this call," the man complained. "Has everyone decided to get a day off suddenly?"</p><p>Yunho heard that one before. When he first got the job he was naive enough to think that he could get used to these accusations and insults.</p><p>Now that he was on his third year, he had finally accepted the fact that this was not something one could get used to, because the moment you think you had heard and felt everything, people would come up with new and creative ways to stike you down again. Harder and faster than before.</p><p>The professional thing to do was to ignore it, so Yunho asked again, "How may I help you, sir?"</p><p>The man announced in a tired voice that he lost his credit card.</p><p>Yunho resisted the urge to sigh. There were already two other missing cards this morning, and each call took almost an hour to resolve. He had a bad feeling that this call would take even more than that, or at least <em>feel </em>longer than that.</p><p>As Yunho collected the customer's account details and explained the steps to recovering a credit card, he listened to the foreboding silence from the other end and subconsciously braced himself for an imminent scolding.</p><p>He learned to trust all his bad intuitions so that if they did come true, at least he wouldn't have to hate himself for not seeing them coming.</p><p>"What do you mean I have to make a trip to the bank?! Do you have any idea how busy I am?!"</p><p>Yunho shrunk into his chair as if that helped him escape from the noise coming from the headset that was more or less a part of his body.</p><p>"I hope you understand, it's for security reasons," Yunho replied, trying to keep his voice steady when his heart was already going miles per hour.</p><p>He barely finished his sentence when the man shouted back, "Then why can't you disable my account first?!"</p><p>Ignoring the profanities decorating that sentence, Yunho answered, "We can only disable your account if we see suspicious activity."</p><p>Typing a few commands on his keyboard, he scanned the monitor and continued, "You said you lost your card yesterday night, and there weren't any transactions made from then to this moment. We assure you that your account is protected. All you have to do is to go to one of our branches with identification documents-"</p><p>"Wait, I couldn't hear anything you said just now." Yunho looked towards the ceiling when he got interrupted a second time, but the irritation was rapidly replaced by anxiety as the customer continued, "Why are you so quiet? Are you scared or nervous or something? What the f**k is this?!"</p><p>All of a sudden Yunho was rid of the ability to speak. He swore he was just talking normally, but as his brain tried to put together the words he just heard he couldn't shake the possibility that what the man said could be true.</p><p>Sweat glued the back of his shirt onto his flaming skin, yet his hands, frozen in place on the keyboard, were ice cold. He tried to say something, only to choke on every intake of breath whenever he opened his mouth.</p><p>"Hello?! This is ridiculous!" The infuriated customer yelled, but Yunho could barely hear him over the clamor of his own thoughts. "How can you just stop talking?! You're even worse than a chatbot! Is this how you treat every customer? A person who can't talk working in customer support? What a joke!"</p><p>Yunho was biting the inside of his lip when the man hung up in a rage. There were many things he could think of, like the fact that the call had finally ended, but the only thing on his mind was the fact that he was compared to a chatbot.</p><p>He hunched his back and stared at the "i" key of the worn keyboard, feeling as if all twenty-nine pairs of eyes in the room were directed onto him. They would all be thinking about how he kept his position for three years when he couldn't even speak properly.</p><p>The weight of the judgemental stares sat on Yunho's shoulders and neck until his muscles ached and he could barely breathe.</p><p>He tore his headset away and stood up, keeping his head low to avoid seeing people's eyes. That was only so effective - he caught Jongho's worried expression as he ended a call in a way that was certainly a violation of the company's rules.</p><p>Yunho sped walk as he navigated around the rows of desks, thankful for his overgrown bangs that obscured half of his vision. Jongho was close behind, his hurried footsteps making soft thumps on the floor.</p><p>Yunho entered the washroom and closed the door with his body. As he turned around to lock the door it swung open again, forcing him to step back in order to let Jongho in.</p><p>Jongho almost gasped when he saw Yunho's pallor. "What happened?"</p><p>Yunho didn't reply, because as Jongho closed the door again he caught a glimpse of the office and saw that no one was staring at him after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! It's more of an introduction to what kind of person Yunho is, but I assure you that things will get interesting very soon ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Not So Typical Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho receives an interesting call that will eventually turn his life upside down.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jongho knew Yunho wasn't okay, even though the tall man kept claiming he was. Jongho noticed how Yunho eyed the row of mirrors uneasily before turning around to lean against the sink, and Jongho knew Yunho did that to avoid looking at his own reflection. </p><p>"You know it's not true," said Jongho, staying close to the door to give his friend the much needed personal space. "Whatever you heard on the phone. It's not true. And it doesn't matter."</p><p>"But I'm worse than a chatbot..." Yunho muttered, too quietly for Jongho to hear. </p><p>Jongho stood in silence for a while as Yunho stared at the dirty tiles on the floor to hide his watery eyes. </p><p>"Their opinions don't matter," Jongho continued, approaching the distraught man. "Don't let people define who you are. You know yourself better than anyone else, so stop caring so much about what other people say. It's only going to hurt you." He said the same thing hundreds of times before in a similar situation, but it never seemed to stick with Yunho.</p><p>Yunho let those words provide temporary comfort. He understood everything Jongho wanted to say; the problem was he couldn't make his heart listen. Pictures of the outside world - the work, the headsets, the <em>people </em>- floated into his mind involuntarily.</p><p>To Jongho's surprise, Yunho straightened up, turned around, and faced one of the mirrors. "Do I really know who I am though?" he asked quietly, examining the person that looked strikingly similar to him.</p><p>He saw the pale face and dry lips that matched his slightly wavy but fading orange hair, and a pair of dark eyes stared back, as deep and as inscrutable as two bottomless wells. It was only a few seconds later that Yunho tore his gaze away as if burned by the sight of himself.</p><p>"What I think of myself is very different from what other people think of me," said Yunho, gripping the edge of the sink when he felt his body heat up in humiliation. </p><p>Jongho suppressed the urge to sigh. It was tiring to keep repeating the same things, but he knew Yunho needed the reminder and he was the only person who could give them. "That's because they don't know you. You're an amazing person. Don't let anyone else convince you otherwise."</p><p>Yunho nodded with his lips pressed together. </p><p>This time, Jongho let out a sigh. Neither of them ever said anything, but it was obvious that Jongho's consolation could only help to a certain extent. </p><p>"That's why I'm telling you to just find another job. I don't want you to keep getting hurt. It's hard to watch and not be able to do anything, you know?" Jongho's attempt to keep the conversation light-hearted failed when he revealed his honest thoughts.</p><p>One thing Yunho hated more than his tendency to overthink other people's opinions was burdening his friend with his own problems, so he ended the conversation in the most unsuspecting way he could think of.</p><p>"It's fine. I'm just being silly again, like always. Thanks for the talk. We should go back to work."</p><p>Jongho raised his eyebrows, not buying Yunho's act at all. It didn't matter though, because the tall man was already striding past him to the exit.<br/><br/><br/></p><p>Back at his desk, Yunho took a deep breath and put on his headset. </p><p>"Only two more hours to go!" Yunho turned to his right at the voice and saw his colleague smiling at him, so he smiled back.</p><p>Feeling better, Yunho pressed the button to start receiving calls, but his mouth went dry when the call connected. Fortunately, his brain was wired to greet the customer on autopilot. </p><p>"Hello, how may I help you this afternoon?" </p><p>It was a relief that he was able to finish the whole sentence without being interrupted.</p><p>"Yes, I'm calling to ask about logging into the online banking," the customer replied. </p><p>Yunho forgot to speak, temporarily mesmerized by the soothing quality of the stranger's voice. No one sounded this good, not when filtered through the cheapest headphones in the market. </p><p>Thankfully, the customer continued speaking. "I forgot my password but I'm having trouble resetting it."</p><p>Listening to his client's problem gave Yunho a chance to snap out of his trance. He asked a few follow-up questions and soon found out that he was talking to Song Mingi, and that Mingi changed phone numbers, which meant he couldn't complete the two-factor authentication required to reset his login password. </p><p>That meant Mingi had to make a trip to the bank to change his account details. </p><p>Once Yunho realized that point, he was forced to recall the previous call he made and how it ended when he tried to explain the purpose of visiting the bank in person.</p><p>"Is there anything I can do?" Mingi asked.</p><p>Yunho recognized the purely inquisitive tone, but he was still struggling with the mortifying memory from less than fifteen minutes ago, so he began to apologize profusely, even before answering the question properly.</p><p>"I'm so sorry Mr. Song. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience," Yunho said, trying to get the words out so fast that he stuttered as he explained the only way to reset Mingi's password. </p><p>The long silence that came afterward scared Yunho. He thought about his broken speech towards the end and realized how unprofessional he must've sounded. Covered with cold sweat, his hands trembled, and for a fleeting moment, the idea of ending the call floated temptingly in his mind. He'd rather face the consequences than to hear what a stranger had to say about him.</p><p>That thought was dismissed when the soothing voice came through the speakers again.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Mr. Song?" Yunho held his breath, his heart already beating preemptively to what was bound to come.</p><p>"Sorry, I think the line went dead for a second, but I heard everything you said. Thanks for your help."</p><p>For a while, Yunho didn't understand what he was being thanked for. He stared straight ahead at his screen without actually looking at it, feeling like a fool who geared up for a fight that never started in the first place.</p><p>"Hello? Can you hear me?"</p><p>"Yes, I can hear you." Yunho wanted to smack himself for sounding so patronizing. </p><p>"I just want to thank you again. It must be hard, being nice to us and helping us when we can be a pain in the ass sometimes." </p><p>Yunho's ears tingle and he thought he was going crazy because Mingi's voice had the soft yet husky quality that made it sound like someone was talking straight into his ears, instead of noise from a bad speaker. </p><p>"It's just," Mingi went on, followed by a small chuckle. "I have a job that requires talking a lot too. It's very different from yours in some ways but very similar to yours in others. Oh, I'm just rambling now, am I? I'm probably keeping you from your work. I should hang up now."</p><p>Like the greeting, the words came out on autopilot as Yunho slowly digested what he just heard. "Thank you for your understanding. Feel free to call back if you have any other questions."</p><p>"Bye," said Mingi, and that was the last word Yunho heard before the call ended. </p><p>Still slightly dumbfounded by the unusual call, Yunho pushed the button to stop incoming calls and leaned back in his chair. He had never experienced anything like that before. </p><p>Sure, there were nice customers who sent their courteous thanks instead of shouting rude words with no regard for the person at the receiving end, but no one had ever expressed gratitude and empathy for Yunho's job.</p><p>And no one called him nice before. </p><p>A warm sensation radiated from Yunho's chest and spread outwards around his body. For the first time at work, he smiled. </p><p>Yunho's good mood persisted for the rest of the day, so it wasn't a surprise when Jongho asked about it as they got off work together.</p><p>"Ok man, spill. What happened?" Jongho had to pause here to hold his scarf so it wouldn't flap crazily in the wind and hit his face. "You went from a pile of melted snow to a whole snow fortress in the span of thirty minutes!" </p><p>Yunho wasn't wearing a turtleneck but he felt as if he was because of the way his neck heated up. Smiling, he replied, "I got a nice customer today." He retold the rest of his story, keeping in almost every single word of the conversation he had with the person called Mingi. </p><p>Jongho noticed how fast Yunho was speaking with his unnaturally high-pitched tone, so he turned his head to look at his overly excited friend, but could only blink in surprise when he saw a tinge of red decorating the other man's cheeks.</p><p>It couldn't be from the cold, and it didn't look like it was from dry skin either. Yunho was blushing, and Jongho almost laughed at his cute friend's infatuation with a stranger's voice. He held himself back only because he didn't want to ruin Yunho's good mood.</p><p>Yunho finished his dramatic recount of the event and Jongho was thinking of a suitable reply when a phone rang. </p><p>"It's mine," Jongho said, taking his vibrating phone out carefully so it wouldn't slip out between his gloved fingers. The caller ID wrote <em>Manager Kim</em>.</p><p>Jongho picked up the call, while Yunho politely angled his body away to give the other some privacy.</p><p>Even though the call lasted less than a minute, Yunho could tell from Jongho's rigid tone that it wasn't good news. </p><p>"What happened?" Yunho asked as soon as Jongho put his phone away. </p><p>"Hongjoong-hyung wants me to take the night shift tomorrow," replied Jongho. He, like Yunho, might have a good relationship with their boss, but they still had to listen to orders. "But it's Friday and I have plans."</p><p>Yunho watched a frustrated Jongho kick a small pebble on the ground. The same thing happened to him before - it was even more annoying that they added the night shift just to assist people who wanted to do online or mobile banking at night.</p><p>So Yunho could empathize well, and he wanted to cheer his friend up. Maybe it was his good mood; he felt suddenly generous and an idea came to mind. </p><p>"You know what," he said, before he could change his mind. "Why don't I take that shift for you?"</p><p>"What? No, you can't! One shift is bad enough for you!" Jongho couldn't do this to his friend, but as he turned to Yunho, his eyes were wide with anticipation.</p><p>Yunho's smile stretched into a grin. "It's okay. I have to find some way to repay you for helping me through my breakdowns, anyway."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Mingi made his first appearance! (Even though it's just his voice)<br/>But what's going to happen in the night shift...?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Night Shift</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho takes the night shift and thinks he recognizes a voice from yesterday, but things don't sound right to him at all...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The office was quieter on night shifts.</p><p>Yunho emptied his cup of instant coffee and returned to his seat, ready for the last hour of his shift. So far, nothing has gone wrong yet - meaning, he hadn't had to rush to the toilet with his head down - but no callers were as nice as the one he had yesterday, either. </p><p>It was looking more and more like a typical day, except for the fact that the sun was down.</p><p>"Hello?" Yunho spoke into his microphone with a smile on his lips, an aftereffect of the compliment he received, despite it being from a day ago, delivered by a complete stranger.</p><p>Knowing someone liked him gave him confidence that he was doing his job well. He finally found someone other than Jongho who thought of him in a similar way he thought of himself - maybe he was nice, after all. </p><p>That was why a tingle of excitement went down his spine when he heard the husky voice through his headphones. He recognized who it was immediately because while the person's name slipped his memory, the sound and the sensation of his voice never left him after that call; they lingered in his body, waiting to be called upon again.</p><p>"I stopped receiving my monthly statements." </p><p>Yunho thought the voice sounded even deeper than last time but marveled again at how it felt like someone was talking right next to him.</p><p>It wasn't professional to point out that they have talked before, and the caller didn't show any sign of remembering Yunho's voice, so he assisted the client like he would with anyone else. </p><p>"You might want to check your junk or spam folder in your registered email," said Yunho, knowing a lot of users had the same problem. </p><p>"I checked already," the client snapped, "Do you think I wouldn't have known to try?"</p><p>The buzzing of bad audio quality pierced Yunho's ears. No one was talking to him anymore; it was just him and his pair of cheap headphones. </p><p>A little voice in his head mocked him until he realized the disillusionment pinching the edges of his heart. What were the chances that the same man would be connected to his channel two days in a row, anyway? </p><p>He was talking to a very different person. </p><p>When that finally registered in his mind, Yunho straightened his body, his neck stiffening in the process. </p><p>It took him another two seconds to realize that his client was rambling on about his missing monthly statements.</p><p>"Sorry, sir," Yunho said, unsure whether the man could pick up his apology amidst the shouts. "I will check your account from here and see if it's a problem on our end."</p><p>"Right about time!" The client yelled flippantly. He then fired out a string of numbers in rapid succession, the syllables connecting together into one slurred garble. </p><p>Yunho's experience in this field was the only thing that saved him from another scolding. His fingers clicked loudly on the number pad as he listened to the credit card number and, to his relief, the database displayed a user profile on his monitor. </p><p>"I hope you got that because I don't have time to repeat it."</p><p>Yunho heard the man talk but the words got lost somewhere between his ears and his brain because he was staring at the bold words on his screen, sitting at the first line of the profile.</p><p><b>Name </b>Song Mingi</p><p>The name rang a hundred alarm bells in Yunho's head. He felt both his heart and his brain grind to a complete halt as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing. This reaction could only mean one thing, and part of his memory came back to confirm that. </p><p>He was right the first time - it was the same person who called yesterday, who thanked Yunho for doing his job, who told Yunho he was nice. </p><p>"Hello?! What the f**k is taking you so long?!" </p><p>The swearing snapped Yunho out of his trance as his natural instincts urged him to curl into a ball, to hang up, to do anything to stop the cage slowly shrinking around his heart.</p><p>His muscles pulled taut to fight those instincts, and now Yunho sat rigid in his cushioned chair. It was starting to feel more like two slabs of stone. </p><p>"Sorry," Yunho managed to say. He had to hold his breath to prevent stuttering. His eyes were fixed on the sea of information on the screen, scanning desperately for the answer he needed.</p><p>He breathed a sigh of relief when he found it, the cold air tickling the back of his throat. </p><p>"We updated our online banking system a few days ago, and there might be a few bugs. I have already reactivated your monthly statements. You should receive them again starting the end of this month."</p><p>"Great! Maybe you should release a statement somewhere to let people like me know then," said Mingi. </p><p>Yunho didn't bother to mention that there was a statement - he was supposed to avoid arguing with clients anyway - because no matter how hard he tried to deny it, his heart kept telling him he was talking to the same person from yesterday.</p><p>It occurred to him then that two people could share the same name, but the spark of hope that came with that thought dissolved when Mingi spoke again.</p><p>"Just so you know, I'm filing a complaint right after this. Can't believe this took me ten minutes." Even though the voice was filled with venomous contempt, Yunho could still hear the familiar deep huskiness underneath it all.</p><p>He felt his heart squeeze tight. The cage was locked shut now. It didn't know how to react, because Yunho didn't know what to think. How could one person act so differently? He didn't want to just think of it as a prank - it wasn't funny at all.</p><p>Yunho wasn't sure if Mingi said anything else after that, but when he came to his senses, the line was already dead. <br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>"I don't understand. There's got to be something wrong with me. Or him. Or both of us," said Yunho.</p><p>He was on his bed, under warm layers of blankets, with a phone in his hand. The clock on his bedside table read 00:56. Yunho wished the thoughts in his head were as clean and simple as the minimalistic font.</p><p>"It's not that hard, Yunho," said Jongho wearily. All he wanted after a night of partying was eight hours of sleep. "He's a stranger. You barely know him, <em>even </em>if you've talked to him twice, and you don't even know if it was the same person. Just sleep and forget all about it."</p><p>"I can't." The words came out absently.</p><p>Jongho sighed, and that was when Yunho realized he had no idea why he said that.</p><p>"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's bothering you," Jongho said, suppressing a growing irritation. He should've expected this to happen; he shouldn't have told Yunho to take up his night shift.</p><p>"I just told you."</p><p>"Yes, but you're acting differently. You're not bothered by being called incompetent, because you would be crying if you were, like always. It's something else."</p><p>Yunho fell silent as he pondered what that "something else" might be. He chewed the inside of his cheeks and shuffled in his seat, hoping, for every passing second, that Jongho hadn't fallen asleep on the other side of the phone.</p><p>Finally, he accepted the fact that he wouldn't get an answer tonight. "I'll see you on Monday. Sorry for calling so late." </p><p>Jongho hung up after a very sleepy "goodbye". The phone went quiet and Yunho was left alone with his thoughts.</p><p>It took an hour for the raging storm in his mind to calm down, and another fifteen minutes before he finally fell asleep.</p><p>Sleeping did a good job at resetting Yunho's brain, and he was able to focus on other things during the weekend. He took Jongho's advice and put the confusing phone calls behind him.</p><p>Then Monday came by again and with Yunho's clean state, it would have been yet another typical day. Except his manager called for him first thing in the morning and assigned a special task to him.</p><p>"Manager Park is short on men today. He wants someone from my team to help him," Hongjoong told Yunho in his office. "You're experienced and I trust your abilities, so I'm sending you."</p><p>Manager Park's team also worked for customer support. Only they worked behind counters, not phones. Which meant Yunho had to see clients face to face, and he hated that. </p><p>Despite his demanding instincts, though, he forced a nod.</p><p>He was allowed to leave but he stood frozen in front of Hongjoong's desk instead, his shoulders stiff and aching from something other than annoyance. It was from wariness too, because if his voice alone could reveal so much about him, what would his face and body gestures do?</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Poor Yunho...he just went through the night shift and now he has a "special task". How will it turn out?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Nice to Meet You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho takes on his "special task" and of course, things don't go as he hopes it would go...but at the same time, people say there's always a bright side to everything, right?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yunho shifted awkwardly in his new seat. The whole building used the same chair, but the one he was on just didn't feel right - his bottom and thighs couldn't fit comfortably on the cushioning.</p><p>The desk in front of him was neat - everything was organized in folders, magazine boxes, and pen holders. He would probably like this workspace if the things didn't belong to a coworker he had never met before.</p><p>He was on the very edge of a long row of colleagues sitting behind identical desks, so he could see the street view out the window on his left. He spotted people in suits walking into office buildings and his heart sank with the realization that the day had just begun.</p><p>"Yunho, right?"</p><p>Yunho turned away from the window when he heard his name, almost getting a heart attack when he came inches away from a person's face. The colleague to his right had wheeled over on his chair into Yunho's workspace.</p><p>"I'm Wooyoung," said the colleague, without waiting for Yunho to answer the question. "Feel free to ask me anything if you are having some trouble. But you should be fine if you worked in phone support. It's basically the same thing."</p><p>As he stared at Wooyoung's overgrown black hair and the bright eyes underneath, Yunho disputed the other's statement silently.</p><p>
  <em>It</em>
  <em>'s</em>
  <em> nowhere near the same thing. No one knew what </em>
  <em>I</em>
  <em> looked like in phone support.</em>
</p><p>Before Yunho could thank Wooyoung, someone stood up from the waiting area and approached Yunho's counter. </p><p>The split second of eye contact between Yunho and the stranger sent his sweat glands on his hands on overdrive.</p><p>Wooyoung gave Yunho a friendly pat on the back. "Good luck," he said.</p><p>Yunho appreciated the blessing, but he would've appreciated it more if it actually worked.</p><p>The stranger sat down on the sofa chair opposite Yunho's desk. Yunho did what he was taught and smiled at the first client of his temporary job.</p><p>The man gave a tiny smile in return. Yunho thought he looked civilized and good-natured with his brushed brown hair, soft eyes, and neat black suit. He forgot momentarily that appearances were deceiving.</p><p>All Yunho needed to do was process a transaction and withdraw cash. Those were basic tasks and they seemed easy, but things often turned out to be the opposite whenever you thought so.</p><p>He knew what was coming the moment he saw the account balance information on his screen. Mr. Lee - his client - didn't have enough money in his account to complete the transaction he wanted.</p><p>As he notified Mr. Lee of the problem, Yunho shifted his gaze from the credit card on his desk to its owner on the other side of the desk.</p><p>The soft eyes were still there, but the black pockets under them suddenly became much more prominent than before. Yunho couldn't be sure if they were even there when the man first sat down.</p><p>"What do you mean I don't have enough money? I deposited money just yesterday!" The voice was shrill and high-pitched, sounding like it came from someone bordering on hysteria.</p><p>Yunho's heart jumped from the sudden outburst, but he inhaled deeply and composed himself. He was right, after all - the truth was written on the screen. "I can check your account activity from yesterday to see-"</p><p>A sharp slam interrupted Yunho. Mr. Lee had struck the desk with his palm, the impact lifting the corner of his credit card away from the surface. </p><p>The noise concentrated everyone's attention to the corner of the lobby. The weight of dozens of pairs of eyes landed on Yunho, trapping him from all directions. </p><p>As his body heated up from humiliation, anger, and disbelief, he felt a strong gaze from his right. Wooyoung was looking at Yunho with a concerned expression, eyes slightly wide and brows gently angled into a small frown.</p><p>Yunho took a cursory glance at Wooyoung and caught the expectant nature in those dark pupils. Or maybe he imagined it, under all the stress.   </p><p>He tapped into his memory, way back when he was training for the job, and remembered what he should be doing in a situation like this. He couldn't mess up; everyone was watching and he had to show that he knew what he was doing.</p><p>Turning back to his client, Yunho prepared to pacify the irritated man, but it was already too late. </p><p>Somewhere between his short outburst and Yunho figuring out what to do, Mr. Lee's patience ran out and he lost his temper. So when Yunho finally spoke again, Mr. Lee stood up, eyes flaring with frustration.</p><p>"What the hell is going on?! You tell me there's a problem but you won't help me fix it. This is a waste of my time. I should be done ages ago!" Expletives were thrown messily in the middle of his sentences, making them almost incoherent. </p><p>Yunho reeled in shock, his chair rolling back due to his body weight. In a panic, he searched for Wooyoung, but all he saw was an empty seat, and a confused yet curious client sitting in front of Wooyoung's desk.</p><p>In an instant, all his nerves ignited with electrical impulses, leaving every part of his body tingling. Yunho's mind raced, amplifying the inner voice that told him Wooyoung had left him only to find help, so he wouldn't have to listen to the furious man gesticulating violently in front of him. </p><p>However, it wasn't so easy to escape from his vision. He could close his eyes but he felt pinned by the dozens of disdainful stares from all around the room, especially the one that belonged to his client. </p><p>Mr. Lee's eyes had lost everything gentle about them. Inside the dilated pupils, Yunho could almost see his reflection - someone who was a newbie in his line of work, an impotent employee in the midst of a crisis, a timid person who couldn't stand up for himself.</p><p>At some point, his inner voice faded away and Yunho's ears were once again flooded with the cacophonous rant. </p><p>"Where's your manager?! This is f**king ridiculous! Why do I have to deal with this sh*t so early in the morning?" Mr. Lee ran his hand roughly through his hair. "What, have you gone deaf? I said bring me your manager!"</p><p>Something Yunho heard prompted the inner voice to come back. This time, it was a quiet and subtle prediction of what was going to happen if he didn't do something now. </p><p>If Mr. Lee got what he wanted and manager Park was notified of this quarrel, he would transfer the message to Yunho's actual team manager, who nominated Yunho for this task. What would Hongjoong think of Yunho if he found out about this incident?</p><p>Anything resembling anxiety or indignity in Yunho evaporated completely, transforming into shame and something dangerously close to fear. </p><p>He finally broke away from those menacing pupils, because that was the only way he could rest his burning eyes. The urge to run away grew irresistible, and Yunho would have chosen the flight option if it wasn't for the audience waiting to see his next move. </p><p>So he blinked away the tears, stood up, and squeezed in a smile. The curl of his lips triggered a burst of agonizing pain in his chest.</p><p>It hurt but he kept smiling apologetically because it was the right thing to do and it was what he wanted everyone to see - someone who knew what the right thing to do was and how to do it. </p><p>"I'm so sorry Mr. Lee," said Yunho, "let's start again and I will help you find the problem."</p><p>It didn't work.</p><p>Mr. Lee's cheeks turned an angry red and bloated into a round, ticking bomb. It barely had any timer on it because he lashed out almost simultaneously, reaching over the desk for Yunho as he continued to yell.</p><p>Yunho's heart pounded, filling his ears with the rushing of his blood. The only reason he didn't scream was that his voice was scared to nonexistence. </p><p>Survival instincts took over his decision making and forced him to stagger backward to dodge whatever Mr. Lee planned to do with his outstretched arm. </p><p>He watched the hand approaching him in an arching motion, and it came so close to his cheek he could feel the body heat but before it could actually touch him another hand intercepted and grabbed Mr. Lee's sleeved wrist.</p><p>Yunho's head was tilted to the side in anticipation, neck retracted and stiff. He saw Mr. Lee's hand shaking just centimeters from his cheek.</p><p>Realizing he wasn't going to get hit, Yunho turned his head carefully to check his surroundings.</p><p>The hand around Mr. Lee's wrist belonged to Wooyoung's client, who was now standing up. Wooyoung had returned in time to see the commotion and he was standing a few steps away from his desk, covering his mouth with the folder he just got from the office.</p><p>"What the-" Mr. Lee blabbered, flinging his arm vigorously. "Let go of me!" His wrist stayed trapped in the grip no matter how hard he struggled. </p><p>Yunho eyed Wooyoung's client, suddenly filled with a nervous thrill as he waited to see the stranger's reaction.</p><p>He was a really tall man with peculiarly blue-colored hair that was styled to cover half of his forehead. A red turtleneck and a light blue denim hoodie contrasted the black trousers that accentuated his long legs.</p><p>Yunho had just begun to shift his gaze towards the man's face when security finally arrived to take Mr. Lee away.</p><p>The blue-haired man never talked once.</p><p>Manager Park appeared out of nowhere and told everyone that everything was under control. Yunho was about to sit down when the blue-haired man strode purposefully up to his desk. </p><p>Stunned, Yunho straightened up and stared wordlessly at the stranger. He could see the other's face clearly now - small eyes with sharp edges, a tall nose, and plump lips that seemed out of proportion from the rest of his facial features.</p><p>Wooyoung tried to grab his client's attention, but the man ignored the calls. "Let's go outside," he told Yunho curtly.</p><p>Yunho was confused by the small smile on the man's lips and the curved eyes that became two small crescent moons, even more so than by the arbitrary nature of the suggestion. It was because of this confusion that he paid no attention to the other's voice.</p><p>Manager Park walked past at this moment and said, "You can take a break. Don't worry, it's not your fault."</p><p>Seeing no other viable option, Yunho decided to accept the stranger's offer. It sounded much better to talk to one person than to be in a room with twenty others who witnessed everything that happened. </p><p>Outside, Yunho sat next to the blue-haired man on a bench. </p><p>No one said anything for a long while, letting the fountain at the entrance of the bank fill the silence with its rushing water.</p><p>This went on until Yunho could no longer hide his curiosity. "Why did you help me?"</p><p>The man chuckled as if it was an absurd thing to ask. "Because he shouldn't have done that to you."</p><p>Everything went quiet the instant the deep voice reached Yunho's ears, as though someone had turned a knob to dampen the ambient sounds.</p><p>He widened his eyes and turned to face the man, his stomach flipping as he realized the other was already looking at him. </p><p>"Anyway, nice to meet you," the man said.</p><p>Yunho recognized that voice, and this time, that person was actually talking to him.</p><p>"I'm Mingi."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ooooo they finally meet! Mingi's dramatic appearance definitely made a memorable impression on Yunho 👀</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I'll Show You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mingi and Yunho talk for the first time, and Yunho already knows the other is a bit different than the average person.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm Mingi."</p><p>Yunho stared at the blue hair and the brown eyes, the memories from a few days ago fresh in his mind.</p><p>He didn't know where to begin, but he remembered what Mingi said to him last night, and how that would mean nothing now, after what he did.</p><p>"Wha-" Yunho jerked his head, tearing his gaze away from Mingi's pupils. "I'm...uh, I'm sorry for the inconvenience back there. I made a scene and I disrupted you, didn't I? You should go back in. I can help you with whatever you need."</p><p>Feeling as if he was being rude by avoiding eye contact when talking, Yunho braved a glance towards Mingi again. He didn't expect to see an amused expression on the other man's face.</p><p>"You don't have to be so nervous. It's not your fault, and I'm not mad at you." Mingi broke into a smile as he spoke, his eyes reacting similarly by squinting into tiny curved slits with wrinkled edges.</p><p>Yunho took a moment to realize that Mingi wasn't kidding. He reminded himself that he was talking to the person who complimented him and called him nice, not the person he encountered during the night shift - that had to have been a silly mistake on his part.</p><p>Something hot and sour rose up to the back of his nose. The chilly temperatures were getting to him, stinging his eyes, reddening his cheeks, and giving him dry lips.</p><p>His heart had to pump harder to deliver warm blood everywhere, and maybe that was why it abandoned its other responsibility to control his emotions.</p><p>So Yunho opened his mouth and poured his heart out to a stranger he had just met.</p><p>"I'm just...I don't know why - I try so hard but I don't seem to be good enough no matter what I do." His cheeks were flushed red and his upper body was enveloped in a swirl of heat radiating from the inside out.</p><p>Yunho rubbed some feeling back into his cold hands before he continued. His body temperature was a mess. "Maybe I've been deluding myself all along. I'm pathetic and useless." </p><p>There was a long pause before either of them did anything. Yunho stirred first, suddenly uncomfortable after revealing his insecurities. He couldn't blame anyone though - it took him years to open up to Jongho, so he should've been more careful.</p><p>Yunho was wondering how to step out of this social predicament when Mingi wrapped his hand around his freezing ones.</p><p>The action came so abruptly that Yunho didn't know what to do other than to feel the warmth from Mingi's hands slowly seeping into his skin. When he finally came to his senses he flinched and recoiled to break the contact.</p><p>Embarrassment turned his ears red as he tried to compose himself by clearing his throat and straightening his posture.</p><p>Mingi retracted his hand when he saw Yunho's reaction. "Sorry...I," he said, scratching the back of his neck with the same hand he had use to touch Yunho. "It's just me...I'm used to taking care of people, and your hands looked cold, so..."</p><p>Yunho wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or cry at the goofy smile on Mingi's face. The sensation of Mingi's touch lingered on his skin, which turned the awkwardness of the situation into pure discomfort.</p><p>He didn't know what Mingi wanted from him, but he knew he had to return to work soon. And work was a good excuse to leave this situation politely.</p><p>"It's fine. I should probably go back in now." Yunho stood up, putting his hands inside his coat pockets.</p><p>Before Yunho could stand up completely, Mingi grabbed him by the elbow. "Wait, you still haven't told me your name."</p><p>Yunho shook his arm free and turned to Mingi, trying not to get annoyed. "It's Yunho," he said, only then remembering the name tag hung on his shirt for everyone to see. Either Mingi wasn't paying attention or he was playing around. "Happy now?"</p><p>Mingi stood up just as Yunho was getting ready to leave again. </p><p>"I still have something to say," Mingi said to Yunho's back.</p><p>Yunho stopped and dipped his head so he was staring at the ground.</p><p>"It won't take long," Mingi continued. "I pro-"</p><p>"But what if I don't want to hear it?" Yunho finally turned around, frustration leaking through his stony voice. "What if all of this is just a disguise to make me loosen up my guard so that you can hurt me deeper once you show me your true self?"</p><p>Mingi blinked, too taken aback to say anything. </p><p>Yunho couldn't stop once he started talking. He didn't know what to think, so all he could do was voice out his thoughts. "You're going to tell me what I did wrong earlier, that I chose the wrong job, and that I have no idea what I'm doing. Right?"</p><p>"No." Mingi's curt answer came immediately. "I told you before. You're nice, and amazing at your job. Whoever tells you otherwise is wrong. They just don't know you."</p><p>Those words almost slipped out of Yunho's brain without being registered. He heard that from Jongho multiple times before. What made this different, and somewhat ludicrous, was that Mingi couldn't possibly know anything about Yunho.</p><p>As if reading Yunho's mind, Mingi added, "I know this sounds hypocritical, but I can usually see the good in people, even if they hide it. Unless, of course, they don't have any. But you're not that. You just hid it so well I almost thought you were."</p><p>Yunho stared at Mingi blankly, trying to understand simultaneously what he just heard and the weird feeling that came with it. The discomfort dissipated, letting something more abstract take its place.</p><p>"You know what, you're not going to listen to me no matter what I say." Mingi stepped towards Yunho.</p><p>"What are you doing?" Yunho found his voice again as Mingi pulled his hand out of his pocket. </p><p>Instead of recoiling, Yunho stood there and let Mingi hold his wrist. He figured that curiosity was one part of his odd mixture of emotions. </p><p>"You'll see," Mingi replied, tugging at Yunho's wrist. </p><p>Yunho resisted. "Don't say that like you know me." Irritation fought over the curiosity.</p><p>Mingi smirked. "You're right. But I know what you're like." </p><p>Yunho hesitated at the certainty in Mingi's voice and the confidence that shone in his eyes. Mingi used this opportunity to pull again, and this time Yunho succumbed to the force. </p><p>The third and final emotion surfaced as Yunho trailed behind Mingi with clumsy strides. It was hope - hope that he made the right decision to follow a man he had just met. </p><p>They reentered the lobby, where everything was back to normal operation. </p><p>Manager Park was waiting at the door. When he saw Yunho he said, "Don't worry. That man is notorious for his tantrums. He always causes trouble here after a Sunday night out. You did everything you could." He patted Yunho's shoulder and walked away, completely disregarding Mingi. </p><p>Mingi beamed. Yunho barely had time to interpret the meaning of that before he was dragged along again. </p><p>They stopped in front of two staff members standing at the self-service stations.</p><p>"Hello! Do you know Yunho?" Mingi asked the two women. Once again, Yunho didn't get a chance to figure out what was happening. </p><p>After giving Yunho an awkward smile, the shorter woman finally replied, "Yes." The other one nodded.</p><p>"Great! What do you think about him?" Mingi gestured to Yunho excitedly.</p><p>"Well..." The shorter woman wasn't a slight bit flustered, as if she had been expecting the question for a long time. "He's very tolerant. I don't think I've ever seen him get mad before. He's quiet most of the times, but he talks things through in a mature fashion instead of getting mad."</p><p>Her friend assented with more nods. "You're cool, Yunho," she said, cheeks going pink. "I bet you don't know that you're popular among the female workers here."</p><p>That erupted a series of giggles from the two women. Everything above Yunho's collarbone flared up.</p><p>Mingi grinned and winked at his interviewees. "Thank you. Have a good day!"</p><p>Just as Yunho thought it was over, Mingi turned on his heels and walked back outside, bringing Yunho to the parking lot.</p><p>There, he did the exact same thing with the security guard manning the shroff office.</p><p>Yunho didn't even drive; he had talked to the guard maybe once or twice. He tugged at Mingi and urged him to leave before an awkward situation arose, but Mingi just kept prodding the old man through the tiny window.</p><p>Yunho met a pair of wrinkly eyes that squinted into an eye smile when they recognized him. </p><p>"Oh, it's you," the security guard said. "You're the man who gave me your umbrella last time. I'll never forget that."</p><p>Mingi thanked the man swiftly and turned to Yunho. "See? I told you I know what you are like."</p><p>Yunho flung his wrist loose and took a few steps away from Mingi, trying to steady his breathing as he organised his thoughts. </p><p>"Do you realize what you have been hiding from others, and yourself, now?" Mingi asked.</p><p>Yunho's heart raced. He didn't want to be too happy in fear that he was deluding himself again, but there was no denying the fact of what he had just seen and heard. That everything Mingi said - that <em>Jongho </em>said all those times - were true.</p><p>He smiled, then said, "I think so."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Dinner</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mingi and Yunho have their first dinner together :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I can't believe you," Jongho said, feeling betrayed. "I've talked to you for over three years and you never listened but you meet a stranger for ten minutes and suddenly you've become a different person?!"</p><p>Yunho shushed his friend frantically, feeling extremely self-conscious because of the echoes Jongho's resonant voice made. Luckily, everyone nearby was too busy getting off work to pay much attention.</p><p>"To be fair, he showed me. You just talked," Yunho replied, recalling his eventful morning.</p><p>"Okay, now I'm genuinely hurt." Jongho faked a pout, which Yunho ignored.</p><p>Yunho bumped Jongho lightly on the shoulder. "You should be glad. You can stop worrying about me, and I can stop feeling bad for making you worry."</p><p>Jongho raised an eyebrow, his footsteps louder now that there are fewer people in the hallway. "Actually, I have to keep worrying for a while, in case this is all just temporary and you call me at some ridiculous hour tonight asking for help."</p><p>Knowing it was just a joke, Yunho smiled, but it didn't change the fact that there was some truth to Jongho's words.</p><p>"It's not easy to change a mindset," Jongho added, gauging Yunho's reactions carefully to avoid hurting his feelings.</p><p>"I know," said Yunho with a nod. He agreed because he was aware that the change came abruptly, almost as if he was under a magical spell.</p><p>"So what do you plan to do?" Jongho's lightened the mood with a brighter tone as they entered an elevator. "I definitely can't do whatever Mingi did to you, so tell me you're going to keep in contact with him and change for good."</p><p>Yunho, who was pressing the 'door close' button, turned around to face Jongho, his face flushed with incredulity. "Wha-I can't just depend on one stranger! We'll probably never meet again!"</p><p>Jongho widened his eyes in return. "How is he still a stranger after what you did this morning? Besides, you said he helped you and no one else can do that so far so the least you can do is to become friends with him, right?"</p><p>"I don't want to take advantage of him," Yunho mumbled. The elevator doors slid open and they stepped into the lobby.</p><p>Exasperated, Jongho stopped and made Yunho turn so they were face to face. "I didn't want to rub it in your face, but you're not admitting the truth. It's obvious that you have feelings for that guy."</p><p>The burning sensation on Yunho's cheeks was all too familiar. Too baffled to explain himself, he spun around and continued walking towards the building exit, pretending like he hadn't heard anything.</p><p>"I'll take that as a yes!" Jongho shouted behind Yunho, catching up slowly at a languid pace. "Stop running away! I'm not going to make fun of you!" He could barely hold in his giggles as he talked. "I believe in love at first sig-"</p><p>He swallowed the rest of that sentence when Yunho stopped suddenly without warning, creating a six-feet tall roadblock at the doorway.</p><p>"What's wrong?" he asked as he caught up with Yunho, trying to figure out what was so shocking.</p><p>Following Yunho's line of sight, Jongho spotted a man waving in their general direction on the other side of the glass windows that made up the whole front face of the building.</p><p>He had never seen the man before, but Yunho's reaction made it too obvious. It was Mingi.</p><p>Eventually, Yunho broke out of his trance and went outside to find out what Mingi wanted. Jongho had a grin on his face the whole time.</p><p>After short greetings and introductions, Mingi explained that he wanted to eat dinner with them.</p><p>"You guys go ahead, I have plans tonight," said Jongho immediately, already waving goodbye to the two soon-to-be lovebirds. On the way to the main road, he flashed Yunho a cheeky grin and got a murderous glare in return.</p><p>"We could still go together?" Mingi said nonchalantly as he watched Jongho leave.</p><p>Yunho, on the other hand, was trying very hard to avoid eye contact. After switching between the cars on the road, the trees along the street, and the floor, he decided he had to be polite and looked at Mingi.</p><p>Staring at Mingi's gentle eyes made Yunho's heart race, a sign that his body had already answered the question for him.</p><p>"Sure," he replied, knowing he would have stuttered and embarrassed himself if he had said anything else.</p><p>As if already expecting the answer, Mingi nodded calmly and began walking, signaling for Yunho to follow.</p><p>They walked the whole way, and as they approached their destination Yunho noticed how familiar the neighborhood was.</p><p>"It's right there." Mingi pointed to a restaurant with a long queue snaking from its entrance to the end of the block.</p><p>Yunho recognized the name of the restaurant immediately, remembering now that Jongho lived nearby and was a regular here.</p><p>Mingi and Yunho were given a table instantly thanks to Mingi's reservation. As they sat down across each other, Yunho straightened his back stiffly, partly because he was nervous, and partly because he felt like he needed to look formal and serious.</p><p>The restaurant was small and crowded, tables placed strategically to utilize the whole space effectively, with just enough space between each of them for waiters to walk past. Different shades of red made up the interior design, including the stained glass window and the small LED lights placed along the line where the ceiling met the walls.</p><p>It was still light out, but the translucent glass blocked most of them and whatever sun rays shone through were tainted with an uncanny red.</p><p>"I hope you can eat spicy food," said Mingi. He had to speak loudly to be heard over the other customers, and at one point he leaned his body sideways to make space for the waiter, who filled their cups with water and took their orders.</p><p>Beginning to wonder whether Mingi had an ulterior motive by calling him to dinner, Yunho answered with a brief "yes" and changed the topic swiftly.</p><p>"Why do you want to eat dinner with me?" Yunho fiddled with the napkin on his lap as he spoke.</p><p>Mingi took a sip of water before replying, "Because the best way to make a friend is to treat them to a meal."</p><p>Yunho could tell that Mingi had carefully formed that answer and that he was probably not telling the whole truth, but he still laughed. It was funny how he thought this was an actual date instead of a casual friendly gathering.</p><p>He played along, and at the same time, reminded himself that he had to take this relationship one step at a time if he wanted things to go smoothly. "Well, you've made yourself a new friend."</p><p>They chuckled at that playful remark just as a waiter approached their table with a tray of food in his hand.</p><p>Yunho shifted his chair to make space, but the leg of the chair caught the waiter's foot and the poor man lost balance, sending two bowls of stew straight onto the red carpet.</p><p>Some soup landed inevitably onto Yunho's shoulder, staining his light blue sweater in a spicy red color.</p><p>Mingi jumped to his feet in alert, a cup of ice water in his hands. The waiter apologized profusely as he picked up the ceramic bowls and cleaned up the mess on the table.</p><p>Yunho ignored all of it - the water and the waiter's apologies and the mild burning sensation on his right shoulder - and stood up to help wipe the table with his napkin. He took a handful of tissues and handed them to the waiter, pointing at his dirtied shoes.</p><p>"I'm okay," Yunho said, interrupting the man before he could say another "sorry". "I can just wash my clothes. You should clean yourself up too."</p><p>The waiter stretched out his hand reluctantly, but before he could touch the tissues, a deafening shout startled him and he was dragged away by an angry manager.</p><p>Yunho watched them go, feeling sorry for the young man who was bound to get an earful just because of an accident.</p><p>Then he remembered Mingi. "You didn't get sou-hey, what are you doing?" He turned back to the table to see Mingi with his phone held up.</p><p>He reached out to cover the camera, a futile attempt since the damage was already done.</p><p>"I took a video," said Mingi cheerfully.</p><p>Scrunching his face in confusion, Yunho sat down. "You're not posting it on social media, right?"</p><p>"No." Mingi replayed the video and showed Yunho. "It's to show you your true self."</p><p>Yunho frowned, trying to decide whether this was a prank.</p><p>"Not a lot of people would help the waiter like you did," Mingi continued. "You didn't even care about your sweater."</p><p>"He tripped on my chair."</p><p>Mingi chuckled at Yunho's obliviousness. "That's not the point. Can't you see you're a caring person? One day you'll realize the good traits you have and that what people think about you won't change who you are."</p><p>Yunho blinked, too taken aback to answer.</p><p>Smiling, Mingi pulled a few pieces of tissue from the tissue box and stuffed them into Yunho's hands. "At least try to clean your sweater."</p><p>The tissue rested in Yunho's relaxed palm. He stared into Mingi's sincere eyes and wondered what was so different about them that Mingi could see himself the exact same way he once saw himself whenever he stood in front of a mirror.</p><p>"Thanks," he finally said.</p><p>Another waiter arrived with two new bowls of steaming stew a few minutes later. The thrilling aroma of chili wafted up their noses.</p><p>Yunho and Mingi took their first bite as the sun began to set outside, turning the restaurant a deeper shade of red.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As I proofread this chapter I realize how cute I made Yunho 🙈 Things are going well for the two of them 🥺❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Not Being Himself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mingi has a few too many drinks and loses control over himself.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Where are you going?" San emerged from the hallway, his hands on his hips. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi, fully dressed, turned around to face his flatmate. "Out." The keys in his hand jangled softly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I thought we were eating takeout together," San said, walking towards the front door. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi spread his arms apart. "We can eat takeout any time." There was a loud thump when his arms fell by his sides.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Knowing Mingi needed some persuading, San pouted and flashed his puppy eyes. "You promised not to leave me alone at nights when we rented this place. I'm paying sixty percent of it, remember?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The trick never got old, no matter how many times San used it. Mingi sighed, feeling bad for his residency doctor friend. Being the busy person he was, San didn't have many friends and all he wanted was a companion on the rare occasions that he got a short day.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know, but it's just one night. I'll be back before midnight," said Mingi.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>San crossed his arms. "You know why I can't let you go unless you bring me with you. What are you going to do about your blackouts?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi cringed at that word. The edges of the keys were digging into the flesh of his tightly squeezed fist. "I haven't had an episode in a long time. I'll be fine without the medication for half a day. I'm sick of the side effects anyway."</em>
</p><p><em>A black shadow hovered over San's face as he uncrossed his arms. "Are you crazy? The medications are the reason you </em>don't<em> have the episodes!" His voice resounded in the spacious living room.</em></p><p>
  <em>Upset at the raised voice, Mingi retorted, "Just because you're a doctor doesn't mean I have to listen to you. I can make my own decisions."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>San stiffened at the hurtful words, which called out Mingi's guilty conscience. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Look, I just want to enjoy myself tonight," said Mingi, softening his voice. "My life is finally getting more interesting."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The internal struggle between his heart and mind was written on San's scrunched up facial features. After a long moment of hesitation, he sighed heavily. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Try to take your medication and don't do anything too exciting, okay?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi felt the shape of a small plastic bottle inside his coat pocket. "Okay."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With that, he turned around and left the apartment. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The sun had sunk below the horizon and the sky had turned dark. The restaurant was bustling with life and energy with the peak hour having just begun.</p><p>Mingi and Yunho had finished their bowls of stew and was having a few drinks now.</p><p>Letting out a long, satisfying sigh, Mingi placed down his shot glass with a thud. Yunho downed his last shot as well, the beverage burning his insides in a pleasant way.</p><p>He held down Mingi's arm before any waiter could see them and bring more soju over. They had finished a whole bottle already and they both had work tomorrow.</p><p>"We should go home and rest," said Yunho. He looked at Mingi's pink cheeks and couldn't help but find the other man adorable in his struggle to fight the alcohol.</p><p>"You're right," Mingi mumbled, holding his head. "I'm going to the washroom."</p><p>Yunho watched Mingi go, wondering for the umpteenth time in the past hour what the purpose behind this dinner was. It was clear to Yunho that Mingi was trying to help him - taking the video of him helping the waiter was more than enough proof.</p><p>What he really wanted to know was why. He never questioned Mingi's intentions, which was why he was doing it right now; before he let himself be fooled. He tried to tell himself that he shouldn't trust everyone who was nice to him, but his heart wouldn't buy it.</p><p>Perhaps it was the alcohol getting to him, or maybe it was simply his emotions numbing his reasoning. Either way, he gave up and decided to be content with this new addition into his life: a person he liked, who might like him back too.</p><p>A thunderous crash pulled Yunho out of his thoughts. He twisted his upper body in his chair towards the commotion, where he saw a chaotic scene unfold in front of his eyes.</p><p>The noise had come from shattered plates and cups, which were laying on the floor in a million tiny pieces. No one bent down to clean up. Instead, the nearby customers were muttering in hushed voices that seemed to grow more anxious by the second.</p><p>They were all pointing subtle fingers towards something, and when Yunho found the source he widened his eyes and immediately stood up, nerves buzzing in alarm.</p><p>Mingi was there, standing at the mouth of the hallway leading to the washroom. And he was staring down at a cowering waiter with a furious look on his face.</p><p>"Are you blind? Watch where you are going!" Mingi stepped forward, looming threateningly over the shorter man, who shrunk back with a mixture of shock and terror on his face.</p><p>Yunho flinched at Mingi's shouts, taking a moment to compose himself before rushing over to stand between Mingi and the waiter. He only slowed down to navigate across the battlefield of shattered glass.</p><p>"I'm sorry, he's a bit drunk," he said, bowing his head apologetically at the shaken waiters and the annoyed customers.</p><p>He turned his attention to Mingi before he could meet any of the customers' judgemental gazes or hear any of their complaints. "You have to calm down. Let me bring you-"</p><p>"Shut up!" Mingi swung his arm, nearly striking Yunho in the process. "I'm not drunk!"</p><p>Yunho tried to keep calm, but he could no longer ignore his pounding heart and sweating palms. Exasperated, he huffed, "Mingi, stop! Why did you even drink if you can't hold your alcohol?!"</p><p>Mingi didn't listen. He snorted and started to turn away, body swaying unsteadily.</p><p>Desperate times called for desperate actions, so Yunho reached out his hands to hold Mingi in case he lost his footing, and in an attempt to prevent him from hurting other people.</p><p>The moment Yunho touched Mingi, though, Mingi shrugged his shoulder harshly, causing Yunho to stumble back.</p><p>"Don't touch me! I told you I'm not drunk! Go mind your own business!" Mingi yelled, eyes wide and flashing with fury.</p><p>Yunho stood still, getting more and more frustrated by the person in front of him. He could see the red cheeks and slightly glazed eyes, but how could Mingi talk to him as if he was a stranger? And treat him like trash?</p><p>"What's wrong with you?" Instead of sounding angry, Yunho's question came out weak and shaky, revealing the resentment in his voice.</p><p>After staring at Yunho with a mixture of confusion and irritation, Mingi turned away again with a sort of nonchalance that infuriated Yunho.</p><p>Humiliated, Yunho began to feel the weight of the customer's stares on him and the pressure was squeezing tears out of him, so he tried to grab Mingi again, planning to bring this conversation outside.</p><p>He stepped forward and wrapped a hand around Mingi's arm, squeezing tight to get a firm grip.</p><p>As if burned, Mingi flung his arm away and spun around. Yunho didn't even have time to react before Mingi grabbed a handful of Yunho's blue sweater.</p><p>By the time Yunho saw the fist raised above Mingi's head, it was too late.</p><p>"I said stop touching me!" Mingi roared, his fist flying straight at Yunho's face.</p><p>Yunho squeezed his eyes shut right before the fist landed. He tensed, waiting for the impact. But it never came.</p><p>When he felt himself being released he opened his eyes and stepped back. The first thing he saw was Jongho. The second thing he saw was Jongho's hand, which was wrapped firmly around Mingi's wrist.</p><p>"What the f**k?!" Mingi shook his arm vigorously, but Jongho only tightened his grip.</p><p>The customers gasped. Some stood up, some covered their mouths with their hands.</p><p>Yunho just stood there, frozen with fear and bewilderment. He had no idea why Jongho was here, his heart was pounding, and he didn't know what to do.</p><p>"Who the hell are you? Let me go!"</p><p>Jongho ignored Mingi's vociferous cries and twisted his arm, eliciting a groan from the taller man.</p><p>"Yunho. Yunho, let's go."</p><p>After calling his name several times, Jongho finally broke Yunho out of his trance.</p><p>"He'll calm down eventually after we leave," said Jongho, putting a hand on Yunho's shoulder and guiding him to the exit.</p><p>Yunho gave one longing glance at Mingi before he stepped out of the restaurant. His blue hair was slightly frazzled, his cheeks and neck were tinted the same color as the stained glass windows, and he was rubbing his wrist while muttering indignantly.</p><p>Other than that, he looked no different than the person Yunho sat down and ate dinner with.</p><p>Once outside, Jongho dragged Yunho down the street and far away from the restaurant before he let go of Yunho's hand. They ended up in a small resting area.</p><p>Then he scoffed, dragged a hand roughly across his hair, and looked sideways out into the busy roads. "What the f**k was that?! He-he tried to hit you. I thought he was your friend! What's-"</p><p>Yunho touched Jongho's arm lightly. "Calm down. You're worked up. He's just drunk. Accidents happen. What are you doing here anyway?"</p><p>"Drunk?" Jongho turned back, looking incredulous. "Did you see how he moved around just now? He can't be that drunk!"</p><p>Yunho frowned. "What are you trying to say?"</p><p>They met eyes for a moment before Jongho wiped a hand across his face and averted his gaze towards the ground. "I'm sorry, I lost my temper. But...I don't know! He tried to hit you. That's messed up."</p><p>Letting out a frustrated sigh, Yunho said, "I told you he's drunk."</p><p>"I know...but he knows you! How could he-"</p><p>"Stop," Yunho interrupted. Something about what Jongho said stung, and he didn't want to listen anymore.</p><p>"Wait, just listen-"</p><p>"You don't know him." Yunho held Jongho's gaze intensely, surprising himself with his own stern tone. "He was trying to help me. He's generous. So he wasn't being himself. Alcohol does that to people."</p><p>Jongho opened his mouth but closed it again when nothing came out.</p><p>"You're right." He blinked as if confused about the whole situation. "I'm glad I passed by and saw you. Your face would've been ruined."</p><p>Yunho smiled without saying anything. He looked up at the starless night sky, suddenly wishing for the night to be over and for a new day to begin.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Finally got some action going on 👀 Sorry it took so long...but get ready to go on an emotional rollercoaster from now on ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Something Changed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho can't contact Mingi after that night at the restaurant and he isn't feeling too happy about it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>San burst into the restaurant, panting heavily. The blast of warm air that hit him as he entered didn't help; he was already sweating from running all the way from his apartment.</p><p>He spotted Mingi, sitting slouched on a chair at the back. Someone wearing a black suit stood next to him, a phone in his hands. He skirted through the tightly packed tables and walked to the far wall as quickly as he could.</p><p>"Are you his friend?" The man in the suit asked with a gruff voice, shoving the phone towards San impatiently.</p><p>"Yes, thank you." San took Mingi's phone from the man and brushed away some hair that had stuck to his forehead. Then he eyed his friend, who had bent over and was now staring intently at the floor.</p><p>Immense frustration made his blood boil, but he kept his cool as he said, "I'm so sorry for the trouble he caused."</p><p>The man - presumably the manager, now that San got a good look - waved the apology off half-heartedly. "Just bring him home."</p><p>A thought came to San and he searched his pockets hastily. "Has he paid yet?" He found his wallet and took some bills out. "Here-"</p><p>San faltered when the manager snatched the money abruptly. "Just go." He scanned the room, sighed shortly, and lowered his voice. "Don't disturb the other customers." Then he walked away with an urgency in his gait.</p><p>San took a deep breath to prepare himself before turning to Mingi. He pushed him back to an upright position and stared at the blank eyes. That was when he picked up the nose-tingling smell of alcohol.</p><p>"For goodness sake, Mingi! How much did you drink? You get drunk after one mouthful!" San exclaimed, grabbing Mingi's shoulders. "I told you not to mix your medication with alcohol!"</p><p>Mingi winced and squirmed under the tight grip. "Let go of me. It hurts."</p><p>San let go of Mingi and arched his neck to the ceiling to compose himself. He felt a headache coming and muttered, "For f**k's sake. What the hell did you do?"</p><p>Mingi stood up clumsily. "I didn't take the pills." He said, almost too quickly to be coherent.</p><p>"You what?!" Unable to control his agitation, San raised his voice and his words came out harsh.</p><p>This attracted the customers' attention, and when San noticed the stares he grabbed Mingi's arm and began pulling him towards the exit. On the way, he bowed his head and apologized quietly.</p><p>One particularly bold customer looked at San and shook his head pitifully. "He almost hit the man he was with. How horrible is that?"</p><p>The old lady said something else about not drinking alcohol, but San wasn't listening anymore. He pushed the door open and yanked Mingi's arm, practically throwing him out onto the street.</p><p>"What actually happened?" San asked, trying to suppress his anger.</p><p>Mingi frowned, shoving his hands into his pockets roughly. "He was going to hurt me, like how he hurt my dad."</p><p>San could barely hear Mingi's soft voice. He linked an arm around Mingi's and tugged gently. "Come on, let's go home. You're hallucinating again."</p><p> </p><p>Yunho wasn't sure what to make of the text message. Mingi had sent him the video he took in the restaurant - the video of Yunho helping the waiter - without any elaboration.</p><p>He sat at the pantry, fingers hovering over his keyboard, wondering what to say. Wondering if he should say anything at all.</p><p>
  <em>Hey, did you g</em>
</p><p>He wasn't halfway into the message when he held the delete button and erased it all. What was the point in asking whether Mingi returned home safely? Mingi wouldn't have sent the video yesterday at midnight if something happened.</p><p>Another ten minutes passed by with him typing half-written messages and then deleting them all within seconds.</p><p>Finally, with his coffee all cold, he gave up and switched off his phone. He didn't know what to say because he didn't know if Mingi even remembered what he did. So the last message he wrote was:</p><p>
  <em>Thanks for the dinner.</em>
</p><p>It was a harmless thing to say, and it was the truth, even though it wasn't exactly the food he liked. But when a blush started to creep up his neck he realized he was getting too far ahead of himself again and that he was only going to make things awkward between them.</p><p>That was why he placed down his phone, feeling deflated and all over the place.</p><p>"Don't waste time on him if he isn't going to take responsibility for what he did."</p><p>Recognizing Jongho's voice, Yunho turned around. "Were you behind me all along?"</p><p>"I just came in," he replied, filling a kettle with water.</p><p>Yunho didn't bother asking Jongho how he knew about Mingi's text. "He can't take responsibility if he doesn't know what he did."</p><p>"But it was his responsibility to not drink so much if he knows he can't take it." Jongho opened a cupboard, which was stocked up with different coffee mixes from various brands.</p><p>Yunho saw Jongho hesitate and stood up. He walked over to the counter and reached up to the tallest shelf to grab a specific pack of coffee, then handed it to Jongho.</p><p>"I could've reached it if I tiptoed."</p><p>Smiling, Yunho ignored him and closed the cupboard. "Everyone drinks too much once in a while. Don't be so harsh on him."</p><p>Jongho tore open the packet a bit too hard, sending a few particles of coffee powder all over the counter. He sighed, not wanting to repeat the same conversation he had yesterday night. "Alright. I'm probably nosing into your personal life. I just don't want you to get hurt, so be careful and try to be casual about it for now, okay?"</p><p>The phone on the table beckoned for Yunho, but he looked past it and picked up the coffee mug instead. Jongho was right, he had to let it go for now and focus for the rest of the workday.</p><p>And it went well, all the way until six, when people slowly began to return home.</p><p>Yunho was about to leave too when one of his colleagues made a mistake and got into trouble. She was called to manager Kim's office for accidentally mixing up two customers' information.</p><p>"Aren't you coming?" Jongho asked, already dressed in his coat and ready to go.</p><p>A few more people left the room, and now they were the only two left in the office. Amidst the silence, Yunho could faintly hear the manager's occasional shouts. "Hongjoong-hyung seems frustrated. I want to see if I can help."</p><p>Jongho turned towards the manager's office, which was segregated in the corner by two walls with huge glass windows. "Oh, isn't she the newbie?" He asked, talking about the young woman standing across Hongjoong with her head bowed.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Jongho scrunched his face up and was about to say something when Hongjoong stepped out. "You have to make some calls to explain the situation and help them reset their passwords for security reasons," he said to the woman firmly.</p><p>"Come on, stop staring and let's go," Jongho whispered.</p><p>Yunho paid no attention to his friend and continued staring at his junior. He remembered her name - Serin - and that she had joined only last month.</p><p>She was looking down shyly at her fiddling hands and the lights were dimmed in preparation for the night, but Yunho saw the contrite and bitterness hidden in the tears she was trying to hold in, and that made up Yunho's mind.</p><p>"Hongjoong-hyung, I can help."</p><p>Hongjoong raised his eyebrows. "It's past six so I'll let you call me that, but are you sure? It's probably not going to be a nice talk."</p><p>"Yeah," Yunho replied and smiled at Serin, who had looked up with a puzzled expression.</p><p>"Sorry, can I talk to him for a moment?" Jongho said, pulling Yunho to the back of the room.</p><p>"You can go home first." Yunho told Jongho.</p><p>"Why are you staying behind for her? It's not your fault!"</p><p>Yunho blinked two times before he came up with an answer. "She's my junior. And it was probably just an accident."</p><p>Jongho squeezed the bridge of his nose and shook his head. "You're too nice."</p><p>"You're overreacting."</p><p>"No, I'm not." Jongho cast a furtive glance towards Serin and Hongjoong to make sure they weren't listening, then grabbed Yunho by his sides and said, "She doesn't deserve your help. I heard her talk bad about you. She sits near you, right? She thinks you can't deal with angry customers. She saw you that day when you hid inside the washroom."</p><p>Instead of feeling bitter or resentful, Yunho felt committed as he looked behind his shoulder at Serin again. The words came out of his mouth automatically. "It doesn't matter. I can't be mean just because of what she thinks of me. Otherwise, she would have more bad things to talk about me."</p><p>Jongho's hands slid off Yunho's arm. He gazed at his friend as if he was looking at an alien.</p><p>The unresponsiveness gave Yunho a moment to think about what he just said. When the words sank in his heart pounded and his lips curled into a smile because he finally understood what Mingi had said the night before.</p><p>
  <em>One day you'll realize the good traits you have and that what people think about you won't change who you are.</em>
</p><p>This was also why things weren't casual between him and Mingi anymore.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. First Snow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho starts to get frustrated when Mingi disappears after their dinner date.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yunho tried to keep things casual. He did. But he knew he had to do something when he kept thinking about that night - about Mingi - whenever he helped someone just because he was nice. Or when he was affronted with outsider's opinions on him and realized it never changed who he was.</p><p>Especially when he realized he was more than what people's thoughts shaped him to be.</p><p>He didn't know if it was love or just infatuation. Maybe it was just fascination. But he had to see Mingi again, if not just to say thanks.</p><p>One thing he knew for certain was that he didn't want Mingi to disappear from his life as a drunk man who tried to hit him. He didn't want that because he knew who Mingi was.</p><p>So after helping Serin that night, he sent Mingi a message.</p><p>
  <em>Hello? (Tuesday 17:01)</em>
</p><p>And that was when he found out he couldn't stop until Mingi replied.</p><p>
  <em>Let's meet. I want to talk to you. (Tuesday 21:35)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Are you okay? (Wednesday 12:13)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did something happen? (Thursday 18:46)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm not angry at you. You don't have to hide. (Thursday 22:56)</em>
</p><p>Five messages. Zero replies. The screen glared up at Yunho, the blue ticks mocking him like crooked smiles. His aching heart was a plea for him to send another message, to not lose hope, but his brain had long recognized the pattern and had accepted the possibility that there was no point in continuing.</p><p>Yunho thought about what Jongho had told him:</p><p>"It's been three days. He either got into a serious accident, or that's just who he is. A playboy."</p><p>It offended him when he first heard it, so he argued.</p><p>"He's just embarrassed. Or busy. He genuinely wanted to help me. He planned the dinner for me. So why would he just leave like that without saying anything?"</p><p>After two days, he ran out of things to say. So he started listening to Jongho. To the tiny voice in the back of his head.</p><p>He still thought about Mingi when he worked. He still missed the sense of security he had when Mingi talked to him whenever he questioned who he was in other people's eyes. The only difference was, he started to feel angry.</p><p>Angry that Mingi was ignoring him. Angry that Mingi didn't even apologize. Angry that Mingi almost hit him.</p><p>Finally, on Thursday, he woke up and thought, "What if Mingi was just playing around? What if he was like others, thought that I was weak, pathetic, and useless, and decided he didn't like me?"</p><p>That was the turning point. After that, whatever Mingi said, whatever he did, lost meaning.</p><p>"Hello? Yunho?" Jongho's voice was coated with worry.</p><p>It was 8:40 in the morning and Yunho was still at home, on his bed. He muttered something into the phone.</p><p>"Where are you? Are you sick?"</p><p>"No," said Yunho. He tucked his knees into his chest and wrapped an arm around his legs.</p><p>"Then what is it?"</p><p>Tears stung Yunho's eyes. Something sour blocked up his nose. He thought about something a particular caller said to him yesterday. It was insignificant and stupid, but that reminded him of the one time he was compared to a chatbot or the dozen times he was deemed unworthy of his job as a bank teller.</p><p>The curtains were drawn in his room and he hadn't turned on the lights, so he was still enveloped in darkness. Under that invisible force, he felt an overpowering wave of distress.</p><p><em>I don't seem to be good enough no matter what I do</em>, he thought. </p><p>What he actually said was, "My head hurts. I'll probably be back after lunchtime."</p><p>There was a long pause before Jongho replied. "Ok. Take care. See you soon."</p><p>Yunho hung up, grateful for having a friend who always understood what he needed. And what he needed right now was time.</p><p>He wiped his tears away and turned on his phone again. His brain protested the moment he opened the messaging app, but he fought back and listened to his heart one more time, even though it hurt.</p><p>
  <em>Can you please just talk to me?</em><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Despite expecting this to happen, Jongho couldn't help but worry about Yunho when he never showed up at work today. </p><p>He wished he could've seen this coming somehow and prepared Yunho for it before Yunho grew too attached. He should've stuck to his instincts after Monday night when he barely blocked Mingi's fist from hitting Yunho, but Mingi seemed to be so special to Yunho that the good friend in him couldn't bear to crush Yunho's hopes. </p><p>Yet now, as he walked to the exit, all he could do was take out his phone and debate whether to call Yunho again. He wanted to give Yunho time, but how much time could he give before he became a friend who didn't seem to care?</p><p>The exposed skin on his face and hands shrivel and dry up the moment he stepped outside into the cold. Yunho's contact was pulled up on his phone. </p><p>He stood and stared at the screen for a while until the cold finally got to him and he was forced to protect his fingers from cracking off. A cloud of vapor escaped his mouth as he sighed heavily, thinking about the things he could do to help his friend.</p><p>Having decided to visit Yunho's place with a hot meal, he lifted his head up and began walking.</p><p>There was a fountain in front of the company building, and he was about to exit the premises when he saw someone behind the sign with the bank's logo on it. </p><p>It was just for a fleeting moment, but somehow he was certain of what he saw.</p><p>Taking his hands out of his pockets, he broke into a run towards the sign and reached behind it to grab onto the person's clothes before they had a chance to react.</p><p>There was no letting go once he got a firm grip, so Jongho stopped and waited for the man to turn around. He didn't really have to look to know that he was right - the height and stature gave it away.</p><p>It was Mingi.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Jongho strained to keep his voice low.</p><p>Mingi tried to avoid eye contact as he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.</p><p>"Why are you here?"Jongho asked again, this time letting some of his anger show.</p><p>"Wait." Mingi pulled his arm gently, but Jongho wouldn't let go. "Let me explain-"</p><p>Jongho tightened his grip and gave a sharp tug, the pain interrupting Mingi and forcing him to look at Jongho. "Why? Why now?"</p><p>The rude treatment hardened Mingi's resolve. He pushed Jongho's arm away and freed himself. "Where's Yunho?"</p><p>Jongho scoffed. "Bold of you to ask that." </p><p>"I know I was being an asshole. Tell me where he is so I can apologize." There was an underlying sternness under Mingi's polite tone.</p><p>A surge of anger tightened Jongho's chest. He suddenly felt hot under the layers of clothes. "Oh, so you're going to apologize now? Do you have any idea what Yunho went through these few days?"</p><p>Balls of steam puffed angrily out of Jongho's mouth as he shouted. "He's at home now, probably feeling awful because of you. Where the hell were you?"</p><p>Other than a slight twitch of his eyelid, Mingi showed no reaction. "I understand why you're angry. I'm angry at myself too," he said calmly. "I promise I'll tell Yunho everything, and he'll tell you later if he wants to." He looked up at the graying sky. "I just really need to talk to him right now."</p><p>Jongho faltered when he heard the desperation and sincerity in that last sentence. His body heat seemed to have disappeared; the cold was seeping back in and he shivered. </p><p>When he finally thought of something to say, an approaching figure behind Mingi caught his attention.</p><p>"Yunho?"</p><p>Mingi widened his eyes and turned around. Yunho was walking towards them slowly. He gave Jongho a tiny smile and stopped a few steps in front of Mingi.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" Jongho asked.</p><p>"I came to find you," replied Yunho, still staring at Mingi.</p><p>Jongho eyed Mingi. "Do you want me to-"</p><p>"It's fine. Go home, I'll catch up with you later."</p><p>Knowing there was no arguing with Yunho, Jongho answered with a simple "ok" and walked past the two.</p><p>Once Jongho was out of earshot distance, Mingi said, "I'm sorr-"</p><p>Yunho held up a hand to stop him. "Don't bother with that. Just tell me, why did you come back?"</p><p>Mingi noticed Yunho's pale hand and the lack of hot air as Yunho spoke, but he focused on responding to the question. A question he felt there was no correct answer to. "To show you I'm still here, on your side."</p><p>The reply wasn't what Yunho was expecting. It made his heart skip a beat. </p><p>"Even though I'm a bit late," Mingi added belatedly, stepping forward.</p><p>Almost instinctively, Yunho stepped back. "Why?" He eyed Mingi's hands cautiously. "Why didn't you answer my messages?"</p><p>The hurt was evident in Yunho's shaky voice and watery eyes. Looking at him like this created a tear down Mingi's heart.</p><p>He hesitated for a long time, struggling to find the correct words. Behind Yunho, the sun, a rippling ball of yellow, was slowly descending towards the horizon. The breathtaking scene took away the few seconds Mingi had to make an answer.</p><p>"I knew it." Yunho pressed his lips together and looked away. "You don't have an answer." His voice was barely audible.</p><p>Panic overtook Mingi when Yunho began to walk away. "Wait, no-" </p><p>Yunho stopped. "Forget it." It hurt him physically to sound stony and resolute. "I don't want to hear excuses. I'm not letting myself be fooled again."</p><p>"Yunho, please," Mingi said, trying to keep the connection with only his voice. "I'll tell you. I'm actually-"</p><p>Yunho stopped, but not because Mingi told him to. He took out one hand, palm facing up. A tiny white spot landed on his gloves, turning into a damp spot as soon as it came in contact. Then he looked up at the sky as if he had to double-check that it was snowing.</p><p>A shade appeared over him suddenly and the snowflakes stopped coming. He sensed a presence behind him and turned around.</p><p>Mingi was holding his coat above their heads. His cheeks were red from the cold. They met eyes for a split second and realized how close they were to each other.</p><p>Yunho's cheeks turned red too, but for a very different reason. He tore his gaze away.</p><p>"Are you crazy? You must be freezing cold. Put that back on."</p><p>"I was actually trying to protect you. I didn't want to hurt you again. Because-" Mingi paused to shift his arms into a more comfortable position.</p><p>Yunho looked at Mingi again, confusion dissolving the awkward situation. "What?"</p><p>Mingi stared back, his eyes locking with Yunho's. </p><p>Then Mingi smiled, and Yunho's heart raced. The snow fell heavily around them and he could feel the cold wind gradually seeping in between his clothes, but there was a warm sensation that spread out from the inside, following the rushing blood that flowed up to his neck and cheeks.</p><p>All Yunho could see were Mingi's brown eyes that were trembling delicately like falling snowflakes.</p><p>A ball of warm air puffed out of Mingi's mouth. "Because I like you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. We're Making Progress</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho visits Jongho's place and talks about his relationship with Mingi, but things got weird when he's making his way back home.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I can't stay mad at him," said Yunho. He went to Jongho's apartment after parting ways with Mingi and was now sitting at the dining table with a cup of hot tea around his hands.</p><p>Jongho threw a damp rag somewhere near the kitchen sink and sat down next to Yunho. "And what do you want me to do with that information?"</p><p>Slightly taken aback by the indifference, Yunho stared down at his tea. Some powder from the teabag drifted around loosely in the liquid. "I know you don't like him because of what happened that nig-"</p><p>Jongho interrupted with a loud sigh. "Yes, but I can't judge his character just by that single incident. This is my problem. It's clear that you like him, so I should be happy for you."</p><p>The tightness in Jongho's voice didn't go unnoticed. Yunho's heart clenched lightly for the irreplaceable friendship he knew he had with Jongho.</p><p>"All I'm trying to say is," Jongho said, placing a hand on Yunho's arm. "Don't give up on what you like because of me."</p><p>Yunho smiled. </p><p>Jongho removed his hand and continued, "Besides, as I said, Mingi has a certain effect on you. No matter what he's doing, I hope he continues doing it because you seem much happier after you met him."</p><p>The smile stretched into a grin as Yunho recalled the first time they met. He knew Mingi's call was special.</p><p>Jongho shook his face playfully at Yunho's lovestruck face. Then he stood up and plucked the cup of tea away from Yunho's hands.</p><p>"What- I'm not finished with that!" Yunho reached for the cup too, but Jongho angled his body away.</p><p>"You've been here too long. You should go now. Don't keep your new boyfriend waiting."</p><p>That statement came so abruptly that Yunho didn't have time to react. When the word <em>boyfriend </em>finally sank in, he widened his eyes and stood up, ears already red. "H-he's not my boyfriend!" He paused, then muttered, "...yet."</p><p>With a silent smirk on his face, Jongho placed down the cup, suppressing the urge to tease his friend. </p><p>"And he's not waiting for me. We parted ways before I came."</p><p>"What?" Surprise raised Jongho's voice by a pitch. "Shouldn't you guys be going on a date or something?"</p><p>Ignoring the blush creeping out his cheeks, Yunho shrugged. "He said he has to go home for dinner or something. He probably has plans for the night."</p><p>Jongho looked out the window. The sky was turning the blue-ish gray color that always came before the darkness fully settled in. The last remnants of sun rays illuminated one corner of the sky, casting a final glow of purplish-red that blended into the expanse of dull color. </p><p>Yunho stepped into the open plan kitchen, reached behind Jongho, and retrieved his cup of tea. "It's not the end of the world. It's nice to have time to process our feelings, isn't it?" He took a long sip.</p><p>"It's not that," replied Jongho, still staring out the window. His voice sounded distant, like the stars hiding behind clouds in the sky. "There had been a lot of assault cases nearby lately. They all occurred at night when there are fewer people watching."</p><p>The playful and light-hearted atmosphere in the apartment dissolved in an instant. They seemed to bring away some of the warmth with them, too. </p><p>An involuntary shiver traveled down Yunho's spine even though his brain tried to reason that it was still quite early - the sun had just set. </p><p>"It's not like it's the dead of the night right now," he finally said. Voicing the logic in words provided some relief. "I can take public transport if that makes you feel better."</p><p>Jongho looked at Yunho with an expression so serious it was almost funny. "And text me when you arrive."</p><p>Just to lighten the mood, Yunho answered, "Ok, <em>mom</em>."</p><p>With the last mouthful of warm tea still traveling down his throat, Yunho left Jongho's apartment and went out into the night.</p><p>The cold air sent daggers to his skin as soon as he stepped out of the building. He wrapped his coat tighter around his body and was instantly reminded of the little interaction he had with Mingi.  </p><p>Yunho's body battled with the chilly air, just managing to keep him warm until he boarded a bus that would stop at his neighborhood. Looking out the window, he realized it had stopped snowing, the streets now dark and gloomy without the snowflakes compensating the inclement weather. </p><p>A small buzz in his pockets redirected his attention to his phone. It was a text message from Mingi. </p><p>
  <em>My flatmate made kimchi stew for me!</em>
</p><p>Attached was a selfie of Mingi and another young man Yunho assumed to be the "flatmate" mentioned in the message, standing next to a dining table with a large bowl of stew in the middle. </p><p>Yunho stared at Mingi's gummy smile, a pang of guilt making his heart clench as he thought back to how he was angry at Mingi throughout the week and realized how selfish it was to do so. It felt so childish now - that he got mad just because Mingi drank a bit too much and was too ashamed to reply to his messages.</p><p>The guilt transformed into a sudden impulse to apologize and recompense for his actions somehow. So without another thought, Yunho typed:</p><p>
  <em>Do you want to go out tomorrow?<br/></em>
</p><p>Yunho's heart beat in anticipation as he waited for a reply. By the time he began to regret his decision, it was too late. The phone vibrated in his hand and a new message popped up.</p><p>
  <em>Sure. What do you want to do?</em>
</p><p>Yunho hadn't thought so far ahead, but he was sure they could come up with something together. All he could think about was the thumping of his heart threatening to jump out of his chest as it finally dawned on him that his relationship with Mingi was official and developing. </p><p>With all the emotions swirling inside him, the fifteen-minute bus ride flew past swiftly. </p><p>He stepped out of the bus again, this time with enough body heat trapped beneath his clothes to tackle the freezing temperatures.</p><p>The rest of the trip back home had to be made on foot. Keeping in mind Jongho's warning from before, Yunho tried his best to stick to the main roads where there were more people.</p><p>Until he eventually reached the last turn and had no choice but to turn into a side road that led to the quieter residential area. </p><p>He instinctively sped up his pace, and once he realized the change he told himself it was just him trying to escape the cold as quickly as possible. </p><p>The road was empty and dark. With the clouds covering the sky tonight, the only source of light was the yellow circles on the ground cast by old, rusty street lamps. Yunho walked past the gates protecting each of the households' front porches and sped up whenever he came across the occasional forks that led to recycling bins or back doors. </p><p>He slowed down almost subconsciously when he was about to arrive at his front door and was about to turn to his gate when he heard distant chatter coming from a bit down the road. </p><p>There was no good reason why he should leave the warmth and safety of his house behind - it was only ten steps away - but when he spotted the small crowd spilling out of an alley into the street, he could no longer ignore his curiosity.</p><p>The first thing he noticed when he got there was how the alley led back to the bustling city. A police car was parked at the farther end and two police officers were just getting out of it. </p><p>Yunho squeezed between the people that formed a semi-circle against one side of the alley, wondering what could have attracted so many people from both the city and the quiet neighborhood where he lived. </p><p>He thought for a terrifying moment that it might've been one of the cases Jongho was talking about, but the quiet gasps and mutterings reassured Yunho that it couldn't have been such a horrific scene, or they would've been much more frantic. </p><p>When he got to the front of the crowd, he realized he was both right, and very, very wrong.</p><p>On the ground next to a dilapidated trolley stacked with folded cardboard boxes were three cats covered in wounds and a lot of blood. Too shocked to look away, he knew he was going to start taking in the horrid details if it wasn't for the police officers ushering everyone to step away. </p><p>Someone in front of Yunho stepped back, causing him to stagger. That loss of balance forced him to tear his gaze away from the poor felines on the ground. As he regained his footing and carefully shuffled his way out of the alley, he caught sight of a familiar face.</p><p>The man was going towards the opposite side, which meant he probably came from the city. Yunho examined the features - black hair, parted to reveal a bit of forehead, small, almond-shaped eyes, and thin lips. </p><p>Soon enough, the dots connected. Yunho recognized the young man as Mingi's flatmate, and the coincidence to find him here was such a surprise that Yunho wanted to call for the stranger's attention, only to realize he didn't know the other's name. </p><p>All Yunho saw as he was finally ushered back into the wider street was the slight frown on Mingi's flatmate's eyebrows and the concerned glint in the eyes below them.  </p><p>The police officers took over the scene and the crowd eventually thinned out. Yunho was the only one left, still occupied with the thought that Mingi might live nearby, if he really did have dinner with his flatmate only fifteen minutes ago.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Weird stuff is happening O.o</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Look At the Mirror</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>My attempt at fluff after a long time xp Hopefully it's not too cringy lol</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>San went out into the living room again when he heard the jingle of keys. Sure enough, Mingi was standing by the door, fully dressed. "Are you going to him again?"</p><p>"Yes," Mingi replied wearily, his hand sliding off the door handle. "His name is Yunho, you know?"</p><p>The last word had barely left Mingi's mouth when San said, "I don't care what his name is."</p><p>That prompted Mingi to turn around, his facial features stretched tight.</p><p>San exhaled, letting his own stern eyes soften. "I know he's important to you and you're important to him, but you wouldn't want to put both of you in danger, right?"</p><p>"Don't make me sound like a monster. I'm a patient," Mingi retorted.</p><p>The low and dangerous voice didn't faze San. "Then are you going to explain to him how you forget most of the things that happen at night because of the medications you need to take?"</p><p>"No," answered Mingi. Then, with more confidence, he added, "I'm just not going to take them."</p><p>The boldness of that statement stunned San momentarily. "You-you know you can't do that."</p><p>Mingi turned himself so he was fully facing San now. "No, I don't, actually. I listened to you and stopped seeing Yunho, but nothing has happened. It killed me to leave him alone without an explanation, and I'm not doing it again. I'm done listening to you."</p><p>San's heart clenched in pain, but the sensation was barely noticeable under the panic. He could tell that Mingi's patience was running low; he had to say something.</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"But what?" Mingi blurted, the sharp end of the 't' bouncing off the walls of the flat. "I know what you're going to say, so unless you have something else to tell me, I'm going to leave."</p><p>"I-" San stuttered. He did have something to say, but he didn't know how to say it; his tongue was tied with panic and distress.</p><p>Meanwhile, Mingi was struggling to withstand the flood of emotions. "I really need this, San," he said, almost choking on the words with the heavy feelings trying to flow up his throat. "And I know you know."</p><p>The desperation in Mingi's glistening eyes and the sentiment in his soft voice made up San's mind.</p><p>"Can you at least tell me where you're going?"</p><p>"Yunho's place. He lives nearby," replied Mingi as he opened the door. </p><p>As he watched, San thought about the dead stray cats he saw in the alley last night and added hastily, "And be careful!"</p><p>The door clicked shut behind Mingi. He felt heavy from the conversation, but the notion that he was going to see Yunho soon lifted his mood.</p><p>Mingi's heart pounded harder the closer he got to his destination. By the time he was standing at the door, his ribcage was rattling with the type of breathtaking anticipation you had right before going on a rollercoaster.</p><p>Inside, Yunho jumped off the couch as soon as he heard the knocks. He brushed his bangs a final time and pulled open the door, revealing the goofy smile on Mingi's face. </p><p>Yunho's lips curled up naturally in response. "Come in."</p><p>A savory aroma wafted up Mingi's nose the moment he stepped in. That turned up his appetite up a notch even though he was used to having dinner later at night. "What are you making?"</p><p>"Sundubu jjigae," Yunho replied as he disappeared into the kitchen to make tea.</p><p>Before following, Mingi took a peek at the living room. It was just the perfect size for a cozy atmosphere, with a small gray couch - designed for two people but could just fit a third person - on one side of the room and a wall-mounted TV on the opposite end. The handwoven gray and white rug in the middle complemented the shadow colored shelf under the TV, looking so soft Mingi almost wanted to step on it. </p><p>Mingi could almost see Yunho's personality in the room - warm, welcoming, and most of all, unimposing at first glance but amazingly comfortable once you got used to it.</p><p>"I made tea," called Yunho.</p><p>Mingi followed the voice and entered the kitchen, noticing the same homey feel even though the room had a brighter color scheme.</p><p>Yunho placed down a cup on the dining table, tensing his hand to stop it from trembling out of nervousness. He had to focus on that simple movement to prevent accidentally spilling the drink.</p><p>Once the cup was safe on the tablecloth and Mingi gave a quiet "thanks", Yunho straightened his body eagerly, made a fleeting moment of eye contact, and returned to the simmering stew behind him. </p><p>Looking down at the pot, he realized he wasn't sure if he was listening to the stew bubbling or the blood pulsing in his ears. The red color of the soup might have also resembled the burning tips of his ears.</p><p>Mingi sipped on his hot drink, his body finally thawing after being out in the cold for so long. He was aware of the slightly awkward atmosphere between himself and Yunho and found it cute that Yunho was so nervous in his presence. </p><p>"So are you trying to make competition with San?" He asked, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.</p><p>"San?" Yunho turned around, sounding serious all of a sudden.</p><p>A soft chuckle escaped Mingi's lips. "My flatmate. He made stew for me yesterday too, remember?"</p><p>"Oh! Um-No, it's..." Yunho stuttered, diverting his gaze onto a cupboard on his side. "I just chose something I'm good at making." </p><p>Trying to contain his laughter, Mingi stood up and circled around the table towards the incredibly flustered man. He tried to slide into the small space between the counter and the short end of the table, where Yunho was.</p><p>Yunho froze, his nerves bundling up and firing out incomprehensive signals that overloaded his brain. All he could do was grip the edge of the counter behind him.</p><p>A loud sizzle tore him out of his trance and he spun around to tend to the stew. </p><p>"Ah shoot, it's going to bur-"</p><p>The last syllable got lost in his throat when he felt a pair of arms wrapping around his waist and a warm chest pressing against his back. </p><p>His heart pumped twice as hard. The blood in his body rushed twice as fast. Yet his brain didn't seem to be receiving enough, because his mind went blank and his hands dangled uselessly on the stove switch.</p><p>Then Mingi's voice traveled straight into Yunho's ears, low and soothing. "Don't worry. You won already because you chose my favorite stew. I love tofu." </p><p>Yunho's overheating body seemed to have pulled him back to his senses. He turned the dial to distinguish the fire and shuffled in Mingi's embrace, hoping Mingi would let him go.</p><p>He didn't. So now Yunho was actually facing Mingi, barely a centimeter between their noses. His nerves were buzzing. Sweat began to form on his palms. He was sure there was a drummer in his chest where his heart should've been.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Mingi asked, referring to the redness of Yunho's cheeks.</p><p>No coherent words came out of Yunho's mouth. They were just half syllables, cut off by his overwhelming senses. He was trying to divert his gaze, to relieve some of the awkwardness, but somehow his eyes always found their way back to Mingi's.</p><p>The light brown orbs, trembling ever so slightly in a mesmerizing way. They were relaxing to stare at.</p><p>Mingi finally pulled away from the hug when Yunho nodded. Almost instantly, Yunho felt a cold spot on his back where Mingi's hands were, and it was only when Mingi looked elsewhere that he realized he actually wanted to hold the eye contact for a while longer.</p><p>"Look," said Mingi. He was holding something in his hands.</p><p>Yunho tilted his head, glad that he had a chance to calm his racing heart. "What is it?"</p><p>"A present," Mingi replied, revealing a portable mirror in his palms. It was round and painted sky blue, with the word <em>Yunho </em>printed in a small, round font. </p><p>Taking it reluctantly, Yunho asked, "A mirror?" </p><p>There was a glint in Mingi's eyes as he smiled. "I'll tell you why, but let's eat dinner first."</p><p>During dinner, Mingi declared Yunho the winner between him and San, which made Yunho blush. Other than that cheesy moment, Yunho had a comfortable meal with the person he was starting to like more and more. </p><p>After the dishes were washed, they went out to the porch where they could catch the sun setting on the distant horizon.</p><p>Yunho held out the mirror again. "So why a mirror?" </p><p>Mingi drowned in the breathtaking scenery. The sky was a canvas, with an invisible artist swirling his paint around delicately. The red mixed with the purple; the yellow with the pink. "Because I want you to know how handsome you are."</p><p>That made Yunho's heart flutter, but he stared down at the mirror without opening it. He was afraid of what he would see. "I..."</p><p>"I know," said Mingi softly. He gave one last look at the tip of the yellow ball, now barely visible above the cityscape. The paints were wearing off. "But this mirror's different because it shows you what I see when I look at you. And you're going to realize it's the same every time you open it."</p><p>Mingi placed his hand on top of Yunho's, guiding him to open the mirror. "You are you," he continued. "You are what you see in the mirror, not what you think other people see in your reflection."</p><p>Yunho glanced at the mirror. The side of his face was tinted an orange-yellow color. He looked up again and saw the same color slowly fading on Mingi's face.</p><p>Eventually, Mingi's words sank in, just as the sun dipped fully below the horizon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Trying to Understand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>You are what you see in the mirror, not what you think other people see in your reflection.</em>
</p><p>"Thank you," said Yunho. Mingi's words were certainly an inspiration, but it would take time to use the advice in action.</p><p>Mingi grinned, his heart swelling with pride. The little quarrel with San was worth seeing Yunho happy. </p><p>"Sometimes I think that it's such a miracle that I met you." Yunho sounded shy, but this time he stared into Mingi's eyes boldly.</p><p>It was Mingi who broke the eye contact. He looked away from the gray shadows that crossed Yunho's face as the sky dimmed and he faced the cityscape again, with an unusual serenity in his heart. </p><p>"Maybe it was." He replied, noticing that the excitement he had when he was inside the kitchen with Yunho had faded into nothingness. </p><p>Yunho noticed the monotone and frowned slightly. "You sound tired."</p><p>"I am." There was another voice in Mingi's head that echoed his thoughts in a less elegant and more demanding way. <em>I want to go home.</em></p><p>The morose tone worried Yunho. "Are you okay?"</p><p>Mingi held his head. It was starting to throb. He wondered if it was the medications. He usually would've taken them by now.</p><p>He tried to force in a smile, but that only seemed to worsen the pain. Squeezing his eyes, he turned his head away to shake it off. When that didn't work, he started to pace the porch, the slippers clumping against the wood flooring. </p><p>"Does your head hurt?" Worry was evident in Yunho's voice. Following Mingi with small, hesitant steps, he tightened one palm around the mirror and reached out his free hand to touch Mingi's shoulder.</p><p>The contact sent a thousand tiny sparkles down Mingi's arm. Then they rebounded and rushed up to his head, intensifying the headache into agonizing pain. Mingi shrugged his shoulder vigorously and spun around, the world tilting unsteadily as he did so.</p><p>Obscenities slipped out of his mouth. "Don't touch me," he said, a little too aggressively.</p><p>With concern filling up his body, Yunho began to feel the cold, like the edges of the mirror, digging into his skin. "What's wrong? Should I call an ambulance?" </p><p>Mingi stopped when he reached the end of the porch, but he didn't turn around. He gripped the top of the banister, his ears ringing with Yunho's urgent voice. The darkness had settled in completely, and as he caught a glimpse of the scenery again he felt the sky and the shadows constricting around him, squeezing everything out of him and leaving only one thing behind.</p><p>"Let's go in first. It's freezing," said Yunho, nearly shouting in desperation when he saw Mingi's trembling shoulders. "I'll pour you a cup of warm wate-"</p><p><em>Stop it. </em>"Shut up!" Mingi's shout echoed in the open expanse of land outside. </p><p>Yunho jerked in surprise and stepped back, a chill spreading through his body when he saw the twisted expression on Mingi's face. </p><p><em>How dare you. </em>"Stop being nice. I know who you really are," said Mingi, his voice deep and low. "What you really want."</p><p>The menacing glare in Mingi's eyes pinned Yunho in place. He shrunk under the intense gaze. Fear and confusion clouded his brain. "What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?" </p><p><em>Ridiculous. </em>"You...I can't believe it took you so long to realize." Mingi's tight voice was filled with unreleased fury. </p><p>There was no time for Yunho to understand the situation. He widened his eyes as Mingi ran towards him and grabbed a handful of his sweater. Shock overcame his body and he dropped the mirror, a loud clang resounding as the metal rim struck the floorboards.</p><p>His immediate stress response kicked in, sending his nerves on overdrive and his brain on full alert. Yunho's attempts to pry away Mingi's hands were futile, but the adrenaline flushed the fear out of his system for a moment, letting disbelief and anger take its place.</p><p>"Why are you being like this?!" Yunho shouted, "Just tell me if you're in pain! You're being unreasonable!" He pushed down the hurt that was starting to well up in his heart. There was no way these were Mingi's genuine thoughts.</p><p>Mingi continued to glower at Yunho. "I'm not letting you go this time. You're going to pay for what you did." </p><p>And that was it. The last bit of adrenaline fueled his brain. Yunho widened his eyes, the memories flooding in and clicking into place. His thoughts were so loud, he didn't even hear the banging coming from inside his house. </p><p>"I know you're not being yourself. It was the same last time when we ate dinner, right? And the other time when you called the bank phone support," said Yunho quietly. He searched Mingi's face for any semblance of recognition or understanding, but there was none, and he suddenly felt heavy with dread.</p><p><em>I'm sick and tired of this. </em>"Stop with your bullsh*t already. You know what you did. You're just a heartless monster who doesn't care about other people's feelings." Mingi released one of his hands and raised it above his head. </p><p>Yunho froze in place, his insecurities coming back to him in waves as he registered Mingi's words. He remembered what he said before and started to wonder if he did do something wrong, reminding him of all the times he felt helpless behind his desk in the office whenever he talked to an upset client. </p><p>Mingi's gaze was starting to burn him, but he forced himself to maintain eye contact because he longed to see the soft eyes - the ones he could stare comfortably and deeply into - again. He decided that Mingi didn't mean what he said.</p><p>For once, he chose not to listen to the hurtful words. </p><p>"I don't know what's going on, but I'm not going to forget what you told me the past few days." Remembering the conversations he had with Mingi brought tears to Yunho's eyes. "You helped me a lot, even when it was something simple like telling me I'm nice." He bit his lip, forcing himself to be understanding. Mingi just needed help.</p><p>Without warning, Mingi's raised hand came flying down towards Yunho's cheeks. In one last desperate attempt, Yunho's body tried to break him free of the grip. As he struggled, a mysterious figure flashed across his vision.</p><p>"Mingi!" The unexpected visitor shouted. He blocked the hit for Yunho and tore Mingi's hands away from Yunho. "I should've known!"</p><p>Stumbling to regain balance, Yunho took a good look at the intruder and realized it was Mingi's flatmate. </p><p>"San?" Mingi asked. He looked around, disorientated. "What are you doing here?" He thrashed his arms around when he noticed San's firm hold on him. </p><p>Yunho looked back and forth between the two, the adrenaline leaving his system and reducing his brain into a muddled mess of a state. "How did you get in?"</p><p>San stood between Mingi and Yunho. "I'm sorry about Mingi," he said, ignoring Yunho's question. </p><p>Wrapping his arms around himself, Yunho asked, "Do you know what's going on with him?"</p><p>San's eyes darted everywhere. "He's...he's supposed to take some medications."</p><p>"For what?" Yunho's tone was accusatory. He refrained from looking at Mingi because he was afraid he would see a complete stranger.</p><p>That question got San's attention. He looked at Yunho again, his eyes slightly widened. He stuttered for a long time, and by the time he found the right words, Mingi had lost his patience.</p><p>Hard footsteps resounded in the air as Mingi stormed back inside the living room and towards the door.</p><p>Yunho followed, almost instinctively. He stepped indoors and grabbed Mingi's wrist. The warmth of the house went unnoticed. "Are you going to leave again?" He could taste the bitterness as he recalled what happened last time in the restaurant. "I left last time so I don't blame you, but this time I'm giving you a chance to stay and explain what's going on."</p><p>There was no hesitation. Mingi flung off Yunho's hand nonchalantly and continued his path towards the door. </p><p>San hurried quickly behind Mingi and pushed him out the front door the first chance he got. Then he turned around and bowed a few times. "I'm so sorry. It's better if you don't know. Trust me."</p><p>"Why would I trust you? I barely know you. This is none of your business anyway," said Yunho, with a lack of conviction. His heartfelt empty and hollow.</p><p>"You don't understand. There's something neither of you knows, and it's better if it stays that way. Mingi is getting emotional because of your relationship, and that's bad." </p><p>Yunho's chest tightened with agitation at San's patronizing tone and sympathetic look. "Just get out."</p><p>San didn't need further persuading. He opened the door and disappeared from Yunho's sight. </p><p>After a long moment of just standing on his rug, Yunho turned around slowly and trudged back to the porch to pick up the mirror. He opened it and was instantly assailed by a mixture of frustration, distress, and weariness.</p><p>There was a small crack on the mirror, and it went straight across his right eye.</p><p>He slammed it shut, overcome with a sudden urge to throw it across the banister and into the trees lining the back of his house. And then he looked down, saw his name on the cover of the mirror, and tucked it into his pants pocket instead.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yunho's starting to notice something wrong with Mingi...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. He is a Mystery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho visits the school Mingi works in, hoping to learn more about him as a person. But instead of answers, he ended up leaving with more questions than he had before.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"How was your date?" Jongho asked, putting on his headphones.</p><p>Yunho knew this question was going to show up eventually and he was ready to answer it. "It was fine. He even gave me a gift."</p><p>"To apologize?" There was a hint of pleasant surprise in Jongho's voice.</p><p>With a small shrug, Yunho replied, "I don't know." He glanced at the small round object lying next to his keyboard. "He didn't say explicitly, but I forgave him."</p><p>The clacking of the keyboard interrupted their conversation as Jongho prepared to receive his first call of the day. He should've started a while ago, but it was Monday and everyone was sluggish on Monday.</p><p>Jongho's delayed reaction was a light chuckle. "He won your heart over with a gift?"</p><p>"You wouldn't understand," Yunho answered coolly. He was so used to being teased that he was practically immune to it. Besides, he remembered - with a smile tugging on his lips - what meaning Mingi had put into that mirror, and that was enough to make that gift more than just a gift.</p><p>"Whatever it is," Jongho said, the lilt in his voice implying he had given up on understanding the logic behind a person in love. "I'm glad it's going well between you two." He gave a final adjustment to his headphones and pressed the button to begin working.</p><p>The tension left Yunho's body immediately. He was afraid he would somehow give himself away and reveal the more unpleasant half of his evening with Mingi, but Jongho seemed convinced that he had a great time on Saturday and had finally let down his guard on Mingi.</p><p>He played with the clasp of the mirror and reminded himself why he lied. First, he knew his friend well enough to know that Jongho would go to extraordinary lengths to dissuade him from continuing the relationship if he found out what really happened. Second, he didn't want to jump to conclusions before he even knew the entire truth.</p><p>One thing that bugged him the most was what Mingi's flatmate, San, said. <em>There's something neither of you knows, and it's better if it stays that way.</em></p><p>If San was against the relationship, that might've been an elaborate hoax - San broke into Yunho's house, after all - to scare Yunho away.</p><p>Yunho would be content with this story if it wasn't for the other possibility looming over his mind like a shadow lurking behind a tight corner.</p><p>What if what San said was true? Yunho didn't know what it would mean yet, but that wasn't a good enough reason to hold a grudge against Mingi. He already did, last week after Mingi got drunk, and he wasn't going to do the same regretful thing again.</p><p>Yunho hadn't heard from Mingi at all since Saturday night, and that made him wonder if history was going to repeat itself so quickly, but all he had to do was to look at the mirror on his desk to know that Mingi would never leave him alone without an explanation.</p><p>After all that Mingi had done to help him, the least Yunho could do was to be understanding and give Mingi another chance. It felt wrong to push away someone he liked, so he had to do the opposite.</p><p>For the first time since he met Mingi, Yunho picked up his phone and went onto Mingi's social media account. It didn't take him long to figure out that Mingi worked in a high school as an English teacher.</p><p>"Yunho, please don't tell me you haven't even started." Taking a quick break after three calls, Jongho pushed one ear of his headphone away and drank greedily from his water bottle.</p><p>Yunho heard Jongho but was too distracted by the photo on his phone to look up and reply. The photo showed Mingi with one of his classes, standing to the side with a pair of glasses perched on his nose, a big smile on his lips, and neatly combed hair resting on the side of his forehead.</p><p>Only the rattling of the partition between Jongho and Yunho's desk successfully grabbed Yunho's attention.</p><p>With one hand still on the blue divider, Jongho opened his mouth to ask the question again, but was interrupted by a violent jerk of his chair from behind as their manager Hongjoong rushed past.</p><p>Jongho turned around just in time to see Hongjoong looking down at his phone anxiously by the office exit.</p><p>Following Jongho's gaze, Yunho noticed the unnaturally white knuckles around Hongjoong's phone and asked, "Hyu-Manager Kim, is there something wrong?"</p><p>"My wife thinks someone broke into our house yesterday night," Hongjoong explained quietly, forcing a smile as he walked over to the desks. "I was rushing to work I didn't have time to notice if anything's out of place."</p><p>"Nobody got hurt, right?" Jongho asked solemnly.</p><p>Hongjoong shook his head. Yunho placed a reassuring hand on the manager's tensed arm.</p><p>"I have to go back to check if everything's alright. This is irresponsible of me but can you take care of the team while I'm gone? I trust you guys the most."</p><p>"Of course," said Yunho.</p><p>Before Hongjoong left, he added, "You guys should be careful, too. The city's kind of...messy, right now."</p><p>"That reminds me," said Jongho, facing Yunho again. "You got home safely that night, right? After you came by for tea?"</p><p>The image of the dead cats reassembled in Yunho's mind in an instant. Those pieces of memory never went away, even though they were already broken into tiny fragments. He remembered the feeling of being in that dark alley, but also the fact that he was too shocked to text Jongho when he returned home.</p><p>"Yeah," Yunho replied. "I told you you were just overreacting."</p><p>Jongho shrugged. "I just think that things always come in a package. You met this person and you're suddenly much happier in your work, but then-"</p><p>"I get your point," Yunho said, stopping Jongho before it got to the hypothetical part.</p><p>The conversation ended there and they eventually went back to work - for real this time.</p><p>Hongjoong returned before lunchtime with the good news that nothing was stolen; it was probably just a prankster going overboard.</p><p>The rest of the day was uneventful, which was perhaps why Yunho was so overwhelmed by a mixture of anxiety and excitement by the time he left the office building - he decided to visit the school Mingi worked at.</p><p>He got permission to get off work a bit earlier than usual, but the sun was already making its gradual descent in the sky by the time he arrived at the school gates.</p><p>A few students were still trickling out into the streets even though the school day had long ended. Yunho felt slightly self-conscious and awkward as he walked past them as if he was walking against a water current in a shallow river.</p><p>With the help of a nice teacher, he went around the security guard's prodding questions about his identity and purpose of visit and went into the school grounds. </p><p>Yunho turned to the young woman next to him as they walked across the courtyard towards the school building entrance. "Thank you..."</p><p>"Oh, you can call me Ms. Seo," she replied cheerfully.</p><p>A few excited screams coming from a sports ground to their left filled up the momentary silence.</p><p>"Mingi should be getting off work soon. Do you want to wait inside the entrance hall?"</p><p>Yunho hadn't realized they were already at the door until Ms. Seo spoke again. In fact, he wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings; he was too nervous about meeting Mingi at the place he worked.</p><p>"Um, sur-"</p><p>"Oh! Nevermind, he's right there!" Ms. Seo released the door handle and pointed over Yunho's shoulder.</p><p>Yunho turned around and sure enough, Mingi was standing to the side of the gates, by a small garden extended along the perimeter of campus. He didn't wear glasses, but his hair was parted the exact same way as it was in the photo Yunho saw this morning.</p><p>Then he spotted someone else. A sulking student kicking dirt on the ground.</p><p>"Ah, that's Minjun," said Ms. Seo, noticing Yunho's curious gaze. "He's probably waiting for his parents to pick him up."</p><p>Thinking back, Yunho remembered the line of cars parked outside the school.</p><p>"The streets are getting dangerous lately," Ms. Seo sighed through her nose. "The parents are worried."</p><p>"I didn't realize it was this bad," said Yunho.</p><p>"Anyway, you <em>are </em>here for Mingi..." Ms. Seo jabbed a thumb towards the school gates with a playful glint in her eyes. "He'll be excited to see you. No one ever visits him, other than his boring flatmate."</p><p>That summoned a swarm of butterflies that fluttered in Yunho's stomach. He felt suddenly special.</p><p>Before Ms. Seo got to leave, Yunho blurted, "How is Mingi like as a teacher?" He realized he knew too little about Mingi's other life. The life when Yunho wasn't with him.</p><p>Ms. Seo clapped her hands together. "He's an absolute charm at school!" Then she frowned, glancing at the student, Minjun. "Some students don't like him, and that's normal when you're a teacher, but he treats all students the same. I don't mean it like how teachers are obligated to help all students, but as in he really loves them as if they were his children."</p><p>Yunho looked at Mingi again. He tried to touch Minjun's shoulder, but the boy shrunk away as if he was burned. Still, Mingi had an understanding smile on his face as he spoke softly to the student.</p><p>Yunho understood, suddenly, what Mingi meant on the phone all the way back when they first spoke. <em>I have a job that requires talking a lot too. It's very different from yours in some ways but very similar to yours in others.  </em></p><p>"Oh right!" Ms. Seo exclaimed, chasing Yunho's thoughts away. "He gets super moody at night, so he never stays after school anymore." She looked up at the graying sky as if to make her point.  </p><p>"Moody?" Yunho wondered out loud. That could explain Mingi's erratic behavior on Saturday night. "Do you know why?"</p><p>"Not really. Rumors said that it has something to do with an incident from his past." Ms. Seo hardened her stare as she said, "But I personally don't believe any of it, because I only ever saw Mingi lose his temper once. And who doesn't lose theirs once in a while? He's an amazing person."</p><p>Mingi was waving goodbye to Minjun now, who was walking to his parents' car. It was Yunho's first time seeing Mingi's back profile so closely. It looked unfamiliar.</p><p>"But..." Yunho began, only to realize he didn't know what else to ask.</p><p>"Yunho?"</p><p>Mingi's deep voice made Yunho's heart skip a beat. It had become an instinctive reaction by his body. He turned around and saw a wide grin, slightly flushed cheeks, and those gentle eyes.</p><p>Yunho knew this face. It was familiar, but it wasn't the one that he wanted to see. He remembered the stony gaze, the tight lips, and the red neck, too. He looked up at the sky and couldn't help but wonder if Mingi was going to get moody again.</p><p>Mingi's face glowed a soft orange under the last rays of the sun, and at that moment, he felt like a complete mystery to Yunho.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Compromise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mingi and Yunho use work as an excuse not to meet at night. They pretend everything is fine, but how long can the truth stay hidden?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They sat right outside the school, on a long bench to the side of the gate. The sky was a solid, deep blue now, and the street lamps were on.</p><p>"It wasn't too bad, right? Your headache?" Yunho asked, observing Mingi's movements carefully.</p><p>Mingi twisted his neck to look at Yunho and cocked his head. "What headache?"</p><p>"The one you had on Saturday, when we were talking on my porch?" Yunho clarified, slightly surprised.</p><p>A flash of recognition crossed Mingi's face. "Oh, it's..." he winced as if reliving that moment. "I didn't take my medications."</p><p>The laconic reply was a cue for Yunho to stop pushing the topic. He wondered if this related to what San was talking about. The <em>something </em>that neither Mingi nor he was privy of.</p><p>There was a silence as he searched for more words. He didn't know what else to say. He didn't know if he even should say anything, for the fear that the smallest thing would provoke Mingi.</p><p>Then he felt warm fingers wrapping around his hand, and when he looked up to see a soft smile on Mingi's face, he knew he was being irrational.</p><p>"I'll be busy for the next few weeks. Christmas break is coming and I have to make sure I go through the curriculum," said Mingi, staring into the street.</p><p>Yunho twined his cold fingers with Mingi's, his heart fluttering as he did so. His other hand was stuffed inside his coat pocket, pressed against the hard surface of the mirror. A bizarre thought came to him then, and he asked, "Were you ever angry at me?"</p><p>Mingi stared at Yunho for a long moment before replying, "Yes, for letting other people's opinions of you change your perception of yourself. And for not realizing how amazing you are."</p><p>The sincerity rolling in his brown orbs and the breathy quality underlying his soft words did the job. The feeling was back - the relief and comfort and fascination that someone understood him and appreciated the good characteristics he buried deep inside his identity - reminding Yunho of the first time he met Mingi in person.</p><p>This was the Mingi he knew.</p><p>Yunho squeezed Mingi's hand, wanting to hold this moment still forever.</p><p>Mingi was staring at the glow from the street light that was almost blinding amidst the darkness as if captivated by the brightness. When he felt constriction around his hand he lost focus and stood up abruptly, his attention now diverted onto the shadows projected on the pavements.</p><p>Yunho stood up too, Mingi's body heat still on his hand but fading fast. "What's wrong?" A strong sense of deja vu hit him as he asked that question, followed by a staggering recollection of what the teacher Ms. Seo said.</p><p>
  <em>He gets moody at night. </em>
</p><p>The cold had found its way back into Yunho's hand. He stuffed it back into his pocket, goosebumps forming on his skin as he observed Mingi.</p><p>"It's okay, you can tell me what's wrong," Yunho finally said. Mingi didn't reply, and Yunho didn't notice the newly clenched fists by Mingi's side as he asked, "Is your headache back again?"</p><p>A metallic clang filled the air as Mingi spun around violently. It was a trash can being toppled over. A small cat-like figure scurried along the street on the opposite end of the street behind Mingi.</p><p>They were standing in the midpoint between two street lamps, and under the dim moonlight it was hard to see each other's faces. The redness creeping up Mingi's neck, shielded by moving dark shapes, went unseen.</p><p>Yunho's foot scraped an inch forward. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"No! Of course I'm not okay!" Mingi shook his head, the neatly combed hair now tousled and swaying messily in front of his forehead.</p><p>The incident on Saturday night came back to Yunho with unsettling clarity. "Calm down. I can he-" He reached out an arm, but Mingi smacked it away aggressively.</p><p>"Stop pretending to be nice! You're not helping. You can't help! Do you get it?!" The few pedestrians attracted by Mingi's shouts skirted by furtively without a second glance.</p><p>Yunho held his wrist where Mingi had hit him. The stinging pain resonated with the burning sensation in his chest. His initial shock didn't last long; it faded to make space for the hurt. He opened his mouth but his voice faltered.</p><p>The pain was too much. Awoken by the strong emotion, he understood then that the rumors in the school were only partly right; Mingi was more than moody at night. He couldn't ignore the pattern anymore. The phone call during his night shift, the talk on his porch, maybe even that night Mingi got drunk. And there was also now.</p><p>He was so lost in thought he didn't notice San coming.</p><p>Mingi had somehow calmed down. Yunho looked at San's anxious eyes and wanted to demand, right then and there, for him to tell the truth.</p><p>"You..." Yunho started, but as he squeezed his hands into balls and his nerves tingled slightly with the memory of Mingi's hands in his, he trailed off.</p><p>San saw the window of opportunity and turned his attention to his flatmate. "Let's go." He had to drag Mingi's arm to get him moving.</p><p>One sentence kept looping in Yunho's mind as he watched Mingi leave. <em>Some things were better left unknown.</em></p><p> </p><p>They stopped meeting at night after that day. </p><p>The reason was that they were both busy - Mingi catching up before Christmas break and Yunho having to work overtime to accommodate the influx of calls. Besides, Yunho didn't want to give up on the relationship just because of a few bad, unexplainable nights. </p><p>One week later, Yunho scrolled through his phone gallery, now a vast collection of selfies with Mingi and a detailed record of the things they did as a couple.</p><p>Most of them were taken in cafés, with hot drinks and sweet dessert next to them on small round tables. There were also pictures taken when they took a walk along the harbor and a shopping trip in a mall during the weekend. No two pictures were the same, but there was one common feature among them - the charming smile on Mingi's lips and crescent-shaped eyes.</p><p>That was more than enough to remind Yunho why he liked Mingi.</p><p>He remembered what Jongho said about things coming in packages and he hadn't forgotten the other half of it. He simply chose not to find out.</p><p>So on Wednesday, when Jongho asked how things were going again, Yunho simply replied with, "Good." </p><p>Jongho saw the blush on Yunho's cheeks and let his friend immerse in his own world for a while before adding, "So he's definitely the good part of the package."</p><p>Yunho's lips tensed and his smile turned rigid for a split second. "Yeah...I guess," he managed. It wasn't a complete lie; he just didn't mention that Mingi was a complicated package in itself.</p><p>"Meanwhile the news is getting scarier every day," said Jongho, commenting on an article he was reading on his phone. </p><p>"Some people say the culprit might be a to-be serial killer. It started with animals, and then moved on to humans. They are only physical assaults now, but who knows what might happen next?"</p><p>The voice didn't belong to either Yunho or Jongho. It was Serin - the relatively new employee - and she was squeezing behind Jongho to get to the fridge, where she always kept her self-made lunch box. </p><p>"You read too many crime novels," said Yunho. He had become good friends with the young colleague after he helped her that night. "Right, Jongho?"</p><p>Yunho turned to Jongho when he got no response. He saw Jongho's wide eyes fixed on his phone screen and knew immediately that something was wrong. "Jongho?"</p><p>Instead of answering, Jongho pushed himself off his seat, the paleness of his skin accentuating the fright on his face as the chair toppled to the ground behind him with a loud crash. Everyone in the pantry twisted their necks simultaneously at the noise.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Yunho stood up reluctantly, his fingertips grazing the tabletop but not quite leaving it as he leaned towards Jongho, trying to get a sense of the situation. </p><p>Jongho glanced up, his stern eyes stubbornly holding back tears. "It's my friend. He was planning to visit me, but...but there was an accident."</p><p>Before Yunho could react, Jongho was already rushing out of the pantry towards Hongjoong's office. The panic left behind was contagious, urging Yunho to move too.</p><p>So he hurried out after Jongho, shouting to Hongjoong that he would be back before lunch break is over, and followed his friend all the way to a hospital.</p><p>The serene environment juxtaposed with the distress and sorrow surrounding Jongho. He took one look at his friend lying unconscious under the white sheets and collapsed onto the plastic chair meant for visitors. </p><p>With sympathy overflowing his heart, Yunho placed a comforting hand on Jongho's back and looked at the stranger on the bed.  </p><p>The man looked about the same age as both of them. Golden, wavy hair. Smooth, porcelain skin. Full, downward-turned lips. Looked handsome even with his closed eyes. It was easy to miss among the bruises and the cuts on his face, but Yunho spotted a birthmark near the left eye, too.</p><p>Jongho cupped his friend's hand. "Yeosang..."</p><p>A doctor walked up to the bed right then, stopping Jongho from saying whatever personal message he had to deliver. "Are you Kang Yeosang's family?"</p><p>"I'm his friend," was Jongho's quiet reply.</p><p>Yunho left the room when the doctor began explaining Yeosang's injuries. He didn't want to nose into Jongho's personal matters, especially when it was so sensitive. As he closed the door the doctor's soft voice traveled faintly into his ears, "...hit by a hard object...".</p><p>His eyes wandered aimlessly, trying not to think too much of what he heard. The room was near the end of the hallway; he could see it open up to the nurse station and the elevators. At the counter, a stray police officer was chatting with a nurse. His gaze locked at them, the scene somehow making him nervous. </p><p>There was a sudden overpowering instinct to check his phone, and he did. </p><p>Scrolling nervously, he learnt that the accident took place early this morning. It must have taken a while for the news to reach Jongho because Yeosang was returning from overseas and he had no family members in Korea right now. </p><p>Yunho didn't know the victim at all, so he scanned the news report without really knowing what he was looking for, until he got to the end of the article.</p><p>
  <em>...police arrested a suspect, Song Mingi, a 25-year-old male, for further investigation...</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. First Sunrise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>San swiped his finger repeatedly on the smooth, glass screen. The frown on his face deepened the more he read, his imagination giving him vivid images of worse case scenarios as he made connections between each line in the news article. Connections only he could make because of what he knew.</p><p>The chair San sat on felt hard; the cushion was worn and had long lost its flexibility, so it sank miserably under San's weight like a deflated balloon. A clock ticked ominously somewhere in the apartment – probably the old one in the living room – reminding him of the time that passed so painstakingly slow in the deep hours of the night.</p><p>The cases were all violent, reflecting the malicious nature of the person behind all of this. It began with animal abuse - first with stray ones, and then with pets  - and moved on to physical assault – from non-lethal afflictions to life-threatening injuries.</p><p>A gust of wind came in from a poorly closed window and seeped through the cracks into the kitchen, sending chills all over San's sleep-deprived body. He was so used to pulling all-nighters his body didn't know when to sleep anymore.</p><p>But there was another reason for his insomnia for the past two nights, and that screamed at him in the form of a few words at the bottom of his phone monitor.</p><p>
  <em>...police arrested a suspect, Song Mingi, a 25-year-old male, for further investigation...</em>
</p><p>He switched off his phone and gulped down the rest of his milk in frustration, barely registering the scalding sensation of the hot beverage traveling down his throat. Concern and guilt were slowly eating him from the inside out, anyway.</p><p>As he rinsed his cup in the sink he realized how quiet the apartment had been without the sound of flowing water.</p><p>Dreadfully, he padded back to his room and involuntarily tensed when he caught a glimpse of Mingi's unmade bed as he passed the slightly opened door.</p><p>Once on his bed, San glanced around the dark aimlessly. His eyes - stinging from the fatigue - eventually landed on his bottommost desk drawer. It was locked, and it had been almost a year since he last opened it, but there was one thing in there and its contents were still fresh in his mind.</p><p>He could almost feel the paper between his fingers as he flipped the pages, eyes catching words only people with medical knowledge, like him, would understand.</p><p>The silence grew. He stared at the closed drawer, hands itching to just take the file out and open it for everyone to see. To let people <em>know, </em>instead of hiding it within lines of undisclosed information and in the secrecy of unspoken words.</p><p>Words he could have said, but chose not to, because he remembered the genuine smile on Mingi's face and couldn't bear to take it away again after he had already lost it once.</p><p> </p><p>It was Sunday. The bulky backpack on his shoulders, on top of the layers of insulating clothes already on his body, were nearly crushing Yunho's lean body. His thighs were burning and everywhere around his shoulders and neck were aching.</p><p>As he huffed and watched the warm air cloud up in front of his face, he tried to remember why he agreed to hike with Mingi at six in the morning.</p><p>"We're going to miss the sunrise if we slow down now," said Mingi, as if reading Yunho's mind. </p><p>Yunho took Mingi's outstretched hand gratefully and immediately felt a strong force that heaved him over a big rock. Then, just as he thought he needed a sip of water, Mingi reached out his hand again and offered him a water bottle.</p><p>"Thanks," Yunho said, slightly surprised, but also very impressed. He turned around to pour the refreshing liquid down his throat, almost choking on the water when he felt a cool towel touch his forehead.</p><p>Mingi dabbed Yunho's face a few more times before moving on to brush Yunho's bangs back in place so that the hair wasn't poking his eyes anymore. Yunho stayed completely still, holding his breath involuntarily as he grew increasingly conscious of the non-existent space between him and Mingi.</p><p>"You ready to go again? We're almost there." Mingi took a step back, smiling subtly at the flustered expression on Yunho's face.</p><p>Clearing his throat excessively, Yunho replied, "Uh..S-sure." Then he turned to face the wind, hoping that would cool down his burning cheeks.</p><p>The rest of their hiking trail was more defined; the ground well-trodden throughout the years by passionate hikers, leaving only a smooth and obvious path behind. It contrasted greatly with the uneven, rocky surface of the mountain on either side of the road.</p><p>Only small tufts of grass were able to sprout from the tiny cracks between stones and boulders, a stark difference from the giant trees and prolific bushes they saw when they first began the track. The change in environment contributed to the stronger winds, but the more open landscape also allowed access to the vast blue sky above.</p><p>For a while, the only sound was the crunching footsteps of their hiking shoes on the dirt beneath. Few people liked waking early on Sundays, and the animals were all hibernating in their caves or ground holes.</p><p>Sunrise was scheduled to start in less than twenty minutes. The sky was already brightening, so Yunho turned off his flashlight and picked up his pace.</p><p>"Be careful! There's one more steep climb up ahead," warned Mingi, matching Yunho's speed easily with his long strides.</p><p>Yunho immediately saw what Mingi was talking about. In front of him was a short wall of rocks, the final obstacle they had to cross to reach the top of the hill, where they could get an unobscured view of the horizon.</p><p>He shrugged his shoulders and tightened his backpack straps, then reached out his arms to find a ridge he could use as leverage. As he stepped onto the first flat rock, he noticed a small stream flowing from one small pond to another, providing enough moisture in the soil for small flowers to grow.</p><p>Meanwhile, Mingi had already climbed to the top via another path with taller stones. He shook and brushed away the bits that crumbled off the dry and cracking boulders and looked down, mapping the safest and easiest route for Yunho in his mind.</p><p>Yunho dipped his fingers into the pond, shivering at the cool sensation that instantly numbed his senses. Looking and touching it gave him the same refreshing feeling he would have had if he had tasted it.</p><p>"How are you so quick?" He said when he lifted his head and saw Mingi. Slightly embarrassed for making his partner wait for something as insignificant as water, he sped up and grabbed a nearby rock to propel himself up the slope.</p><p>Mingi watched Yunho's foot and saw where it was going to land - a few stones at the side of the pond that looked slick and slippery judging by their smooth surfaces.</p><p>"Watch out!" He called out, but it was a second too late.</p><p>Yunho stepped just a little bit too close to the pond and he lost balance, the foot sliding straight into the water as his body tilted to the side and towards the hard ground.</p><p>Just as gravity was about to take hold of him, Yunho felt a firm hand wrap around his wrist. He was hanging there now, in his precarious position with his foot still submerged in the pond.</p><p>"That was close," said Mingi. He had one foot on the peak and one foot on a nearby rock - a position that didn't look safe either. "It wouldn't be a long fall, but you might've hit your head." He grunted and pulled hard, having to constantly twist his leg around in order to keep his balance.</p><p>Yunho followed Mingi's instructions and got to the top safely. The summit was a small, flat area covered in pebbles and miniature stone stacks made by previous hikers. It was hard to miss the third person there, an old man who sat at the very edge with his legs dangling off the cliff.</p><p>He was also staring at the two younger men with a judgmental gaze.</p><p>With his back turned, Mingi was oblivious of the situation. "Congratulations. You made it to the top!"</p><p>Yunho felt the stinging glare and thought about the clumsy mistake he made, but before he could continue that train of thought, the first streak of orange penetrated the gray sky and the tip of the sun broke through the horizon. He looked at Mingi, now illuminated with a backlight.</p><p>"Not many people can make it their first time, so you did really well," continued Mingi. His eyes were wide, catching the first light of the day and shining with pride.</p><p>"Yeah," replied Yunho quietly. He stared down at his feet as if to make sure he actually made it.</p><p>"Let's take a picture." Mingi took his phone out and wrapped an arm over Yunho's shoulders.</p><p>"Wait," said Yunho. He opened the mirror - the one Mingi gave him - and peered into his reflection to fix his hair.</p><p>The crack from when he dropped the mirror was still there, but he compromised and angled the mirror every time he used it. Now he had a full view of himself, and he saw the sweat dotting his forehead and the smile on his lips - evidence of his hard work.</p><p>Finally, he looked up again, this time at the camera on Mingi's phone. The sky behind them was a bright orange now, mixed with bits of russet and gold.</p><p>Neither of them noticed the old man leaving quietly as the photo was taken.</p><p>They sat down afterward, watching the sun rise slowly upwards. It wasn't the first time Mingi saw this mesmerizing scene, but he looked at Yunho next to him and knew immediately that this time would be special compared to all the other times.</p><p>"Can I make this even more memorable?" Mingi asked, more to himself.</p><p>Yunho, too drunken by the view, took a second to reply. "What?" He said, turning his head lazily.</p><p>Before Yunho could make sense of the unreadable expression on Mingi's face, he felt two gentle hands on his neck as Mingi leaned in and connected their lips.</p><p>The initial shock took a moment to fade away, but as soon as it went, Yunho melted into the kiss that felt as warm as the sun's first rays.</p><p> </p><p>Outside, the palest of red-orange tainted the sky. San read the digital clock on his bedside table and felt the first hint of a headache as he realized it had been over forty-eight hours.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. He's Innocent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mingi is released from police custody after forty-eight hours of investigation, and someone's not particularly happy with that.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The police station was a scary place, even when Yunho was outside the building. He didn't know what the exact protocol was, but if it was anything like the TV dramas he watched, Mingi should be released soon.</p><p>Unless, of course, the police found enough evidence to prosecute him.</p><p>Yunho paced nervously in a tiny circle, trying unsuccessfully to lower his presence. He was on the far side of the crossroad right outside the gate, because that was the closest to the station he dared to go.</p><p>It was early in the morning, so most people crossed the road to go in, displaying their ID cards with an unsmiling expression only inspectors determined to solve their cases could wear on their faces.</p><p>All of those officers gave Yunho a questioning look as they passed by.</p><p>"...frustrating. He was so worked up we thought he would confess, but he never did."</p><p>He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but that was what his frantic mind directed his attention to in order to calm himself down. Intrigued, Yunho looked up from his feet and saw two people standing next to him, waiting for the traffic light to turn green. It was the man who spoke just now, and he was waiting for his female partner to reply.</p><p>"I have a feeling this is just one of those cases that will stay an unsolved mystery. You'll see many of those in your career, bud." The woman gave one pat on the man's back.</p><p>"We still have the evidence, right?" He asked.</p><p>The woman scoffed. "The textile fibers? Those are all we have and that's not strong enough to make the case. Besides, all of our witnesses have said only good things about our suspect. No solid alibi...but the statements make it sound like we're looking at a completely different case."</p><p>Yunho casually turned his head when she looked his way. At this point, he was confident that the detectives were talking about Mingi, so he bore into the red man on the traffic light and wished, for once, that he would stay for a bit longer.</p><p>"Do you think we got the wrong person?" The male inspector asked.</p><p>There was a short pause before the answer came. "Hard to say. I trust the witnesses, though, especially since there are so many, with a wide range of profiles. People judge each other surprisingly well. So..."</p><p>The red man disappeared and the light turned green. The officers began crossing the road.</p><p>"...he sounds like a harmless young..."</p><p>Yunho couldn't hear the rest of the sentence as the woman walked off with her subordinate, but he already heard everything he wanted to hear.</p><p>The rest of the twenty minutes flew by. Perhaps it was the certainty of knowing Mingi would come out that gave Yunho that illusion. Either way, he was so elated to see the familiar face emerge from behind the gate that he ran across the road without checking the traffic light and jumped onto Mingi, wrapping his arms around the body he knew so well.</p><p>Mingi returned the hug with earnest, pressing the other against himself.</p><p>"I'm sorry. You must be worried," said Mingi, stepping out of the hug.</p><p>Yunho shook his head, his hands still on Mingi's shoulders. "I wasn't worried. I knew something must've gone wrong. You would never do such a thing." The tears stinging his eyes surprised him as he spoke. He was so happy to see them again - the same gentle eyes and the kind smile he had in his memory.</p><p>"Thanks." Mingi's smile went rigid with his short and quiet reply. He didn't tell Yunho that, when he was questioned in the claustrophobic room and presented with incriminating evidence, how he had started to suspect himself more than once.</p><p>He clenched the bag in his hands. Inside were his belongings returned to him by the police, including the bottle of pills he took everywhere. He knew the side effects of his medications. He had never injured a person and then forget what he did, but he couldn't stop thinking of the possibility that that was actually what happened.</p><p>"You don't look so happy. Aren't you glad you were proven innocent?" Yunho's hands slid off Mingi's shoulders.</p><p>"Yeah, of course I am," said Mingi, forcing his voice to go up a pitch. "I'm just tired." He realized that Yunho was right; he gained everyone's trust, even the police's. He was the crazy one to not believe himself.</p><p>"So what are you going to do now? You still have to work, don't you?" Mingi asked.</p><p>Yunho's heart sank. He knew he had to see Jongho now, who was probably visiting his unconscious friend in the hospital. Jongho never said anything about Mingi being arrested, which was exactly why Yunho dreaded the contentious conversation that would inevitably come.</p><p>"I have to go find Jongho-" The rest of his answer got caught in his throat when he saw San approaching.</p><p>Following Yunho's gaze, Mingi turned around to meet his flatmate, who looked haggard with the dark bags under his eyes.</p><p>"Thank god you're out," said San. He eyed Yunho nervously and grabbed Mingi's arm. "We're going back home."</p><p>Mingi opened his mouth to protest, but Yunho beat him to it, with a hint of irritation in his voice. "We're not done talking."</p><p>San sighed. The exasperation barely penetrated the layer of exhaustion on his face. "I'm too tired to argue. Just...you two should keep some distance for a while. It's good for both of you." He glanced at Mingi, then at the police station. When he spoke again, his voice was much softer. "For everyone."</p><p>Yunho frowned, his irritation slowly escalating to anger. "What do you mean? Mingi did nothing wrong, so why do we have to <em>keep some distance</em> as if he has to hide? I'm sick of you telling me something and not explaining the rest. Either tell me the whole truth or leave us alone."</p><p>The bubble holding in the tension burst open. San's eyes turned stony in an instant.</p><p>"You let us be for a whole week," continued Yunho, letting his anger take control because he knew fear and anxiety would take their place if he didn't. Deep down he knew that San knew things he didn't want to learn about, so he had to push them away. Push <em>him </em>away. "You saw that nothing happened. So why interfere again? Why-"</p><p>Mingi interrupted Yunho by stepping in between him and San. "It's okay." He placed a hand on Yunho's shoulder and guided him a few steps away from San. "He's not trying to separate us. I'll...I'll talk to him. You should go find your friend."</p><p>Yunho shrugged the hand away. "Wait, do you know something too?"</p><p>Catching the hint of betrayal in Yunho's eyes, Mingi answered hastily, "No! ....not really." All he knew was that his medications were part of the problem. He thought about the headaches and the blackouts and felt trapped when he saw Yunho's pupils tremble with concern.</p><p>"You don't have to worry about this," Mingi added. "I'm still me, and I still love you. Nothing will change between us."</p><p>Yunho wanted to say something else but stopped because he felt the truth in Mingi's words. He already knew everything he needed to know about Mingi. "You're right. I shouldn't let a third person interfere." Then, hesitantly, he added, "I...I love you too."</p><p>Mingi smiled and gave Yunho a quick peck on the lips. Then he turned around and left with his flatmate.</p><p> </p><p>Jongho was sitting on the visitor chair when Yunho arrived. They were in a regular ward now, a bit plain and empty compared to the intensive care unit with all the daunting tubes and machines.</p><p>Yeosang was the only occupant in the room, taking the bed nearest to the window out of the four available ones.</p><p>"How is he?" Yunho asked, feeling obliged to keep his voice low in the reverent atmosphere. He noticed that the bruises were gone and the wounds were fading on Yeosang's face. The only visible injury left was the bandage-wrapped hand resting on the blanket.</p><p>Jongho turned his head slowly from Yeosang to Yunho. His eyes lingered on his tall friend for a while as if they were taking some time to register the man's presence. "Is he out?"</p><p>Yunho got the hint. No small talk. His heart felt heavy in his chest and he suddenly wanted to sit down but Jongho stood up at this exact moment, his body blocking the sunlight that streamed through the window.</p><p>"Yes," Yunho finally said, following without protest as Jongho walked around him to leave the room.</p><p>The hallway was bright, empty, and reeked of disinfectant, though Yunho barely noticed the smell.</p><p>"So did he do the other things, too? The animals and the-"</p><p>"He was released," said Yunho tersely, cutting Jongho off.</p><p>"For the lack of evidence." Jongho's voice was neutral, and he was leaning against the wall with a kind of nonchalance, but Yunho could see the veins running down his neck between the taut muscles.</p><p>"There's nothing to prove anything. Let's just leave it as it is, okay?" Yunho heard his tired voice and realized that was exactly how he felt. Tired and despondent, because he knew where this was going and he could do nothing to stop it.</p><p>"And what? Will you go back to him again? Do you want to end up like Yeosang?" Jongho was standing straight now, facing Yunho with hurt burning in his eyes.</p><p>The fury rose up in him in an instant. Yunho couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth. "It wasn't him. Mingi didn't do anything!"</p><p>"Then why was he arrested? He was a suspect for god's sake!"</p><p>Yunho cringed at the offensive word. "He's not one now. He's innocent."</p><p> "Just because there wasn't enough evidence doesn't mean he's innocent. He tried to hit you in the restaurant that night, and then we get all these physical assaults." Jongho turned his head to the side in frustration. "You can't tell me that doesn't make you at least a bit suspicious."</p><p>"You don't even know what he's like!" Yunho shouted, barely letting Jongho finish. The accusations hurt him, and the fact that they came from his best friend made it even more unbearable.</p><p>Pain fueled his anger, and anger worsened the pain. Whatever he said next was just his body trying to let them out before they could consume him. "He was drunk that night, and he-sometimes he acts out of character but that's all just side effects of his medications!"</p><p>His voice echoed in the narrow hallway. A nurse warned the two men to be quiet or they would have to leave, but neither of them listened.</p><p>Jongho took a silent moment to process what he just heard. "Medications? Acts out of character?" He muttered, putting the puzzle pieces together. "It wasn't only that once, isn't it? What else happened? What didn't you tell me?"</p><p>"Nothing." Yunho lowered his voice, trying to stay calm despite saying something he wasn't meant to say. Despite lying straight into Jongho's face. He tried to save it by spitting out a truth. Something he deeply believed in. "Whatever it is, nothing changes the fact that Mingi would never hurt anyone, let alone your friend."</p><p>"F**k," said Jongho, running a hand through his hair. He stared wide-eyed at Yunho. "This is what I was talking about. Things come in a package, but you hide when you see or hear something you don't like. You have to see the rest of the package, not just the-"</p><p>"Stop saying that. He's a living person." Yunho's soft voice was also deeper now. Something was burning in his heart. Something more than pain and anger. "I'm not hiding. I just see things for what they truly are. I don't hurt people just because they hurt me. I know who Mingi is. And that's why I like him."</p><p>A ringtone blared loudly, interrupting the unfinished conversation.</p><p>Yunho felt the buzzing in his pocket. He tried to take his phone and realized then that his hand was already squeezing a hard object. The mirror Mingi gave him.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Winter Air</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mingi and Yunho go on a refreshing car ride.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The call was from Mingi, and Jongho knew.</p><p>He stared at Yunho, the stone-cold eyes both a silent warning and a desperate plea.</p><p>Both of those Yunho saw, and both of those he ignored. He pressed the button to receive the call and lifted his phone up to his ear.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Have you talked to Jongho? You're okay, right? He didn't...get too angry?"</p><p>Yunho listened to the soft and slightly husky voice, recalling the first time he heard Mingi through the phone. It was the same right then; he felt as if Mingi was right next to him, speaking right into his ear.</p><p>"Yeah, I talked to him. There's nothing you need to worry about," replied Yunho, looking through Jongho's wide eyes and the torrent of emotions inside. "Why did you call me?"</p><p>Jongho's glare shifted into one of urgency and despair as he watched Yunho talk to the person who blatantly tried to hit him on their first night out. Who also most likely injured his friend who lied on the hospital bed right now. Tears circled in his sockets and shimmered under the bright ceiling lights, but he wasn't sure whether it was an emotional response, or just his body trying to maintain moisture after keeping his eyes open for so long.</p><p>"I called to say I'm sorry," was Mingi's answer.</p><p>"It's not your fault," said Yunho. He hardened his voice, eyes never leaving Jongho. "You didn't do anything."</p><p>Jongho tried to frown but his eyelid twitched weakly instead.</p><p>"No, it is." Mingi hesitated. "San's right. I've been confusing you, even if it's partly the medications. I...I think we shouldn't meet for a while."</p><p>The words took a moment to sink in. And when it did, Yunho heard his heart crush into pieces like the world that was falling apart around him, all except for the intense look still anchored on Jongho's face.</p><p>He suppressed the panic and focused on putting the pieces back together. "I don't know what your flatmate told you, but it doesn't matter. You told me, remember? You said you're still you, and I don't doubt that at all."</p><p>There was a long pause over the phone. "Even if I was arrested? Even if I tried to-"</p><p>"I don't care about that," Yunho interrupted. He remembered the times Mingi tried to hit him or the times Mingi shouted rude things at him, but they had all became faded memories in his mind. "It doesn't matter what other people think of you, because I know what you're actually like."</p><p>Jongho blinked, and before the tears could escape he turned around and went back inside the hospital ward, leaving Yunho behind.</p><p>"Should we meet?" Yunho continued, saving Mingi the need to think of a suitable response. "I think you need to loosen up after sitting in the police station for two days."</p><p>There was a short pause from the other end, and when he spoke again his voice was tinged with a sort of mischievous enthusiasm."Let's meet tonight."</p><p>"Tonight?" Yunho repeated. A string of uneasiness tugged at his heart, but his brain was too slow to catch on, and before he knew it the little string was buried under a much stronger, tingling sensation – the feeling of his nerves buzzing with the determination to prove to Jongho that he was wrong about Mingi.</p><p>"Okay," he said, turning around to leave the hospital.</p><p>He met Mingi after he finished a half-day of work, in front of the apartment building Mingi lived in. It was located in the city, not the center of it, but near enough to it that the skyscrapers obscured the vision of the sky and the sun that was slowly descending behind them.</p><p>Mingi was inside a car among a long row of other vehicles parked by the sidewalk. Yunho walked over, slightly fascinated because he never knew Mingi owned one. It was silver and looked pretty generic to Yunho, who didn't know much about this subject at all, but his stomach still fluttered with excitement as he took shotgun next to Mingi.</p><p>"Where are we going?" Yunho asked, the heated argument with Jongho already shoved deep into the recesses of his mind.</p><p>Mingi thrummed the steering wheel with his slender fingers. "We're going for a drive."</p><p>Yunho nodded and strapped in. "How did you come up with this idea?" He hovered his hands over the heater and felt the hot air thaw his frozen skin.</p><p>The engine revved up with a nice, crisp sound when Mingi turned his car key. "I heard that it's very refreshing to drive on a highway without a destination. It's a good way to get away from...everything, I guess." He eased the car out onto the road. "And it's been a while since we had a night together."</p><p>"Yeah," agreed Yunho.</p><p>"Thank you," added Mingi hastily, as if he was reciting from a script and had to get it out before he forgot the lines. "For what you said. I was the one who told you not to let other people's opinions change who you are, but I had to let you say the same thing back to me."</p><p>Yunho turned his head and realized in amusement that Mingi was avoiding his gaze by keeping his eyes pinned on the road, even though they were only waiting for pedestrians to cross. "That's why people fall in love, isn't it? To remind each other when they're doing something wrong. And to have someone who will always trust you, no matter what."</p><p>The cars in front of them zoomed off, but the light turned red again right before they got past the crossing. Yunho looked down at his fidgeting hands, ears burning when he realized what he just said.</p><p>Mingi smiled at the heartwarming words, and, unable to resist the calls of his beating heart, he placed a hand on Yunho's cheek and guided his head so they were facing each other. Yunho's fingers stopped moving, now too dumbfounded to do anything. He closed his eyes instinctively when Mingi began to lean in.</p><p>When their lips touch, Yunho was the one who deepened the kiss by wrapping his hand around Mingi's neck.</p><p>The sensation set Mingi's nerves on fire. His brain shut down, letting his heart take control. Warm blood flowed to every single part of his body that was touching Yunho.</p><p>They pulled apart just in time for the light to turn green. Shy smiles decorated their lips, both too occupied with the dizzying after-effect of the intimate contact to say anything. The only sound left in the car was the blasting of warm air as the heater worked away. They stayed like this until they weaved out of the bustling city and entered the highway.</p><p>"Look," said Mingi, nodding towards the windshield.</p><p>Yunho looked up from his lap and almost gasped when he saw the view outside. The road stretched in front of them, making a big curve until it disappeared into the ball of yellow floating above the horizon. Most captivating was the layer of gold, purple, and pink that blanketed the original blue sky, giving thin wisps of clouds a reddish tint as they passed by.</p><p>As Yunho stared out in awe, Mingi opened the window to let in the winter air. The cool, refreshing air hit Yunho, instantly relieving the tension trapped in his body and washing away the worries that clouded his mind.</p><p>With the burden gone, he could, for once, feel the raw affection he had towards Mingi. Even as his heart swelled, he could barely keep in the overwhelming emotions.</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>Mingi was so startled by Yunho's sudden confession that he temporarily lost control of the steering wheel, causing the car to jerk slightly. He covered his embarrassment with a series of coughs as he tightened his fingers around the wheel again.</p><p>Trying to act as bold as his statement was, Yunho fixed his eyes on the flustered driver and waited for the appropriate reply.</p><p>"I-I love you too." Mingi cleared his throat after stumbling over his words. Saying it out loud evoked his favorite memory he had with Yunho. "I knew it since that day when I talked to you over the phone as a client."</p><p>"But you didn't even know who I was."</p><p>Mingi shook his head. "I heard your voice though, and it was different. I could tell you actually cared about your clients."</p><p>Yunho recalled his visit to the school Mingi worked in. "Like how you care about your students?"</p><p>An affirmative noise escaped Mingi's lips. "I wanted to let you know that, and in the process, I found even more things I liked about you."</p><p>The last rays of sunlight splashed a beautiful gold over Mingi's face. Yunho watched his side profile in silence, understanding why he felt so comfortable whenever he was with Mingi. "Thank you for helping me find who I am."</p><p>Another cold breeze seeped in through the windows. "Do you want me to close the windows?"</p><p>The goosebumps rising on his skin were nothing compared to the coolness on Yunho's face. "No," he said, as he looked at the scene outside and rode into the sunset.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Flying Thoughs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun was gone. The sky was a clean, dark blue. Stars were out, almost outshining the thin crescent of the waxing moon. Headlights illuminated the gray asphalt and white pavement markings with bobbing yellow pools.</p><p>Yunho and Mingi were going in the opposite direction now - back towards the city - so they could get some dinner. </p><p>"There's a nice Japanese ramen place near where I live," said Mingi.</p><p>"Sure," Yunho said, smiling. A big warm bowl of noodles sounded very tempting after sitting in the car with the windows open for so long.</p><p>Everything was going well. Hope bloomed in his chest as he took in the moment - the night view, the casual conversation, Mingi's warm voice...</p><p>Yunho's phone buzzed softly in his coat pocket, breaking his reverie. He took it out, prepared to mute it so they wouldn't be disturbed again, and hesitated when he saw the caller ID.</p><p>"Who is it?" Mingi asked, catching a glimpse of Yunho's knitted eyebrows.</p><p>"Jongho."</p><p>The ringtone continued playing softly. "You can pick it up."</p><p>"No, it's fine." Without a second thought, Yunho pressed the red button to end the call. The quiet that followed was more prominent than it was before the ringtone interrupted the silence. "He's probably calling to nag me."</p><p>He was near the end of the sentence when the phone sounded again, this time with incessant chimes from a slew of notifications.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Mingi probed. Yunho thought he heard a hint of irritation in the other's voice.</p><p>"Yeah." Yunho's voice lacked conviction as he scanned through Jongho's messages. Some were apologies for the argument at the hospital, but most of them were warning Yunho to be careful. "I'm sure," said Yunho again, more firmly this time.</p><p>He looked at Mingi, who smiled in return. When they were sitting in a car driving into the night and talking about dinner, there was nothing he needed to be careful about.</p><p>"Do you still have my mirror?" Mingi asked suddenly.</p><p>"Of course," Yunho replied, taking the mirror out. He peered into his reflection effortlessly, completely overlooking the crack running down across the glass surface. It felt such a long time ago when he broke it that it didn't bother him anymore.</p><p>Mingi felt a surge of pride when he stole a short glance at his present to Yunho. The mixture of happiness and excitement, coupled with the thrill of driving so freely against the wind, gave him an exhilarating rush that overwhelmed his senses. He felt it at the back of his neck, where the skin tingled. "I'm guessing it helped you, then."</p><p>For a moment Yunho didn't know where to begin. There were too much to say and too few words to use. "It did. Whenever I look into the mirror, I think about what you always say about me, and then I smile and suddenly, instead of an incompetent and weak employee, I see a compassionate person who just wants to help others."</p><p>He thought about the many times he cowered behind his desk, thinking he was useless because of something a stranger said on the phone. He laughed inwardly at himself now as the realization dawned on him, as refreshing as the cold wind coming in through the windows.</p><p>"As you said," Yunho continued, "I hid my good traits from myself and let other people's opinions shape who I was. And then you came by and helped me find those hidden parts. Now I use my patience and tolerance to answer those phone calls at work."</p><p>"You can't forget about the rest of you, though," said Mingi. His mind was on the road, the words flowing out of his mouth as freely as the cars moving on the unobstructed highway. "Everyone has a bad side."</p><p>Yunho was too lost in his self-reflection to notice the change in Mingi's tone right away. "What do you mean?"</p><p>He waited for an answer, and when none came he closed the mirror and turned his head. That was when he saw the bright red needle pointing well over 120 kilometers per hour and still trembling unsteadily as it inched towards the bigger numbers. They were going way too fast, and Yunho felt it now, the blur of cars zooming past the windows and the force pressing him against the back of his seat.</p><p>As if feeling the cold for the first time, Yunho shivered. "Mingi, we're going too fast," he said calmly, not yet recognizing the signs. He was too comfortable, too self-assured, to consider Jongho's warning seriously.</p><p>The change came so abruptly that even Mingi, too lost in the moment, couldn't do anything to fight back.</p><p>First was the headache that worsened the longer he stared out the windshield at the dim highway, as if darkness was the force that tried to crush his skull. With one hand he grabbed his throbbing head. The other turned white as it squeezed around the steering wheel.</p><p>Mingi's struggle triggered a sense of deja vu, so abrupt that Yunho felt dizzy with anxiety. Urgency rushed through his veins, burning uncomfortable beneath his cold skin, as he tried to remember what he did last time this happened in his house. He never got to the part where all his attempts to calm Mingi only provoked him further.</p><p>So in one desperate moment, he touched Mingi's shoulder, intending only to placate the other. "Is it back? The headache? Maybe you should stop the car-"</p><p>The rest of the words dissolved into a gasp when the car swerved sharply to the left, throwing Yunho's body harshly against the door. The pain shocked him and adrenaline flooded his system, giving him just enough speed and awareness to grab the steering wheel and pull the car back onto the road. Yunho's heart pounded, straining under the stress. The headlights swept across the metal barrier they barely missed.</p><p>"Stop! Mingi, listen to me! You have to step on the brake!" Yunho shouted, trying to block out the honks from other cars and the screeching of their tires as they zigzagged uncontrollably on the highway.</p><p>After the headache was the voices. They circled in Mingi's head as if the pain had taken up life. He pushed Yunho away roughly to regain control of the wheel. </p><p><em>It's just a disguise. Don't fall for the trick. </em>"Don't try to trick me. You're doing the opposite now. Hiding your bad traits and showing off the good parts."</p><p>Yunho was freezing cold now, dismay making his heart clench as the adrenaline faded. In his mind, he knew Mingi was acting strange again, but his heart wouldn't let him think more of it. He chalked it all up to the medications and the crazy side effects.</p><p><em>He's just like everyone else. </em>"You're pretending to be nice so you can get close to me." The more Mingi spoke, the quieter the noise in his head became. Soon, there was only his own voice left. "Inside, you're actually planning to hurt me. Like how you actually hate the clients who shout rude things at you."</p><p>Yunho tried not to listen but those words stung his ears. What Jongho said came to him suddenly, making him stiffen with unease. <em>Things come in a package, but you hide when you see or hear something you don't like.<br/></em></p><p>The wind slapped at his face, squeezing water out his eyes. They were speeding up again, Yunho noticed. He grabbed onto his armrest instinctively and blinked the tears away. There was no time to think about packages; he had to act before fear paralyzed him like the cold that had already numbed his fingers.</p><p>Tensing his muscles so he wouldn't tremble, he reached out a hand and touched Mingi's arm as gently as he could, barely feeling anything under his frozen skin. "This isn't you," he said, pausing to keep his voice steady. "I know you didn't mean what you said. You wouldn't say anything like that."</p><p>Mingi's eyes flickered as if he remembered something, but it was gone in a flash. "I don't know what you're talking about. This is just another act of yours, isn't it?"</p><p>Yunho's eardrums vibrated with the fury in that voice. Dread settled in his stomach. "No, Mingi..." He couldn't suppress the desperation and despair any further. "That's not what I'm doing. I'm trying to tell you that I know what you're like-" He faltered there, catching the implacability in Mingi's fierce eyes.</p><p>"Why would you care about me? I know I'm next after my father died! So just do it! Stop pretending and do it!"</p><p>Yunho started, staring at Mingi with a mixture of horror and disbelief. He recognized the strident voice because it was the same as the one he heard on his only night shift - the one he erroneously took as Mingi's. But was it really a mistake?</p><p>He battled with his mind; maybe he didn't know what Mingi was like after all. </p><p>So who was the person sitting next to him, gripping the wheel so tightly and flooring the accelerating pedal so recklessly?</p><p>Survival instincts kicked in and Yunho's hands flew to the seatbelt buckle. He was too frantic to think of more placating things to say, but he could still unstrap himself and fight for the brake. He wrestled with the thought, struggling with his indecisiveness.</p><p>In the end, it didn't matter what choice he made. The car swerved abruptly to one side as a deafening honk filled the air, and before he could register the car that was coming full speed towards them, he felt a violent jerk and the last thing he remembered was the loud crash and the blinking lights before he descended into darkness.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho wakes up in a hospital with new opinions on Mingi.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Let's meet tonight," Mingi said, inexplicably drawn to the fluid flow of cars on the highway outside his window.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tonight?"<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Through the phone, Mingi heard the underlying reluctance in Yunho's voice, which resonated with the shame in the deepest corners of his heart. He knew San was right, that he should stay away from Yunho for both of their sakes.<br/></em>
</p><p><em>Mingi turned towards the door, feeling a tight knot forming in his chest. He was talking to San here, and he realized, no, </em>accepted,<em> for the first time that there was something wrong with him. Something more than just the medications.<br/></em></p><p>
  <em>Any second now, San would return with whatever he got from his bedroom and explain everything to Mingi.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>A sudden impulse washed over Mingi like a spilled hot drink. It happened so quickly and the reflex was immediate. He closed the door, locked it, and pressed his back against the wood. He thought he was ready; he had paced back and forth between his bed and his desk and had prepared for the worst, but after calling Yunho, after hearing what the other had to say, he wasn't so sure anymore.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Mingi? Why did you lock the door? Are you okay?" San's worried voice was muffled on the other side.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>San banged on the door when he heard no reply, but even that sounded distant to Mingi because of the one word he heard through the phone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Okay."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi smiled and ended the call. The knot had unfurled slightly. He unlocked the door and pulled it open. The banging ceased abruptly.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why did you-"<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>San was stunned into silence when Mingi forced his way out of the room.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Where are you going? I have to talk to you about..." San trailed off and held up something instead.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ignoring the strange way his stomach flipped when he saw the folder in San's hand, Mingi averted his attention to the shoes he was trying to put on. "Maybe next time."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What? But you said-"</em>
</p><p><em>"You told me yourself," Mingi interrupted. "That it's better if some things stay unknown to me." </em>To Yunho too, <em>Mingi thought, but he didn't want to drag Yunho into the conversation.<br/></em></p><p>
  <em>"Yes, but-" San floundered, "things will change if you're going to keep going to him. Having a third person is a different matter."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Not if that person trusts me more than my four-year flatmate does." Mingi jammed his foot inside his shoe with a thud.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You don't know how you sound like, do you?" Mingi continued when he saw San's blank expression. "When you tell me to take my medications every night and warn me not to go out after because I might 'act out'." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He paused, finding it increasingly hard to keep eye contact with San. "You sound patronizing. Always. I get that you know more about these things than I do, but you also sound like you're scared for the people I'm going to meet outside of our flat, not like you care about my health or worry about my safety. It stings."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The firmness left San's eyes. The round orbs glimmered darkly in their sockets as if trying to break through the silence.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi's hand reached for the doorknob. "And you never told me anything," he said quietly. "And I don't want to listen even if you're finally willing to. I'd rather listen to someone who trusts me."<br/></em>
</p><p><em>He turned to the door without waiting for a reply, feeling a jab of shame for the unspoken rest of the sentence. </em>Even though it might just be one version of me.</p><p>
  <em>"Wait," called San. He strode up to Mingi. "You'll change your mind after hearing this. Just listen to me one last time."</em>
</p><p><em>Mingi was ready to face San again but gave up</em> <em>when he heard the same matter-of-fact, all-knowing tone. "I'm sorry." He squeezed the doorknob and made his choice.<br/></em></p><p>
  <em>That night in the car, when Mingi was embracing Yunho with their lips connected, when he felt like the whole world didn't matter because he was in his shelter of warmth and safety, he thought he had made the right choice.<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>He just didn't know what that choice would cost him.<br/></em>
</p><p> </p><p>A plain ceiling. Bare walls. Curtains. White. White everywhere. And lights. Blinding like the headlights of the car that crashed into them.</p><p>"...ho?"</p><p>The echoey voice reverberated in his skull, but it sounded distant, faraway. </p><p>He made out two eyes, a nose, a mouth.</p><p>"...Yunho!" He heard Jongho's voice, and then his name. "Oh god...I'm going to find a nurse."</p><p>Jongho slipped away and was gone in a flash. Yunho tried to grab onto his friend but his hand laid futile by his side. His eyes were just growing back into focus; he was barely conscious and way too slow.</p><p>A few moments later he felt warm skin on his arm. "...how do you feel?" A second voice said. It continued as a wordless drone in the background as Yunho let the nurse touch his forehead and fiddle with the tubes sticking out his hand, barely feeling anything because his body was so sore.</p><p>After the nurse left, Jongho scooched over and squeezed Yunho's hand. "I'm so glad you woke up. You've been out for three days and I was so scared..." Yunho heard a tremor in Jongho's voice. He turned his head on the pillow and saw tears streaming down Jongho's cheeks. "The doctor said you'll probably be fine if you wake up...I'm just-"</p><p>Yunho gently removed the hand on his arm so he could pull Jongho in for a hug. "I know. I'm fine. It's okay now," he said, barely getting the words out because of his scratchy throat.</p><p>As if reading his mind, Jongho helped Yunho sit up and poured him a cup of water. "Are you hungry? I can buy you some food."</p><p>Even the lukewarm liquid was hard to swallow. Yunho gulped down the rest in one go and shook his head. "I just want to know what happened."</p><p>The warm smile and the relief on Jongho's face vanished in an instant. He tried to keep a neutral voice as he said, "I don't think it's a good idea to talk about that. You just woke up. You need to re-"</p><p>"I can't rest if you don't tell me." Yunho stopped and winced when he felt a throb in his head. It was as if his body was also trying to resist. "I remember crashing into a car, but how did it happen?"</p><p>Jongho took the cup from Yunho to stall for time. "You were going really fast." The sentence ended with a lilt.</p><p>Yunho knew that too, though the memory was fuzzy. He could almost feel the icy wind against his skin again. "And?" he pushed.</p><p>"I don't know," Jongho replied quietly. "No one told me anything. It doesn't matter."</p><p>"Yes it does." Yunho closed his hands into tight balls, grabbing fistfuls of the blanket with them. "It's all over your face. How can it not matter to you? Mingi was driving. The car-" He groaned and held his head, a stab of agonizing pain ripping through his skull.</p><p>"Yunho!" Jongho set the cup back down on a counter next to the bed with a slam and cursed as he reached for Yunho. Frustration and concern coated his voice. "I told you we shouldn't talk about this! It'll hurt you. You're not ready yet."</p><p>"I am ready!" Yunho blurted, tears blurring his vision. His head was still stinging but his chest hurt more, knowing Jongho was right all this time; that he had been hiding in his delusion because he was afraid to look at the whole picture; that he wasn't actually ready but he had to be.</p><p>Jongho, stunned into silence, let his hands fall back onto his lap.</p><p>"The car," Yunho said, picking up where he left off. "it was coming towards us. We were in the wrong lane." He took a shuddering breath, the fragments of his memory flashing across his mind like frames from a movie. "Mingi wasn't drunk and we were on a straight road, so it couldn't have been a complete accident."</p><p>"Yunho, you're thinking too much," Jongho said, his soft voice lacking conviction.</p><p>A shiver ran up Yunho's spine when he closed his eyes and his mind brought him back to that night. The two beams of headlights were cutting through the windshield already, but he focused on what was inside.</p><p>Did Mingi turn the steering wheel? Did he cut into the wrong lane <em>deliberately</em>?</p><p>There was no definite answer in Yunho's mind when he opened his eyes again. "I'm sorry," he said, looking at Jongho. "You were already frustrated at me after what happened to your friend." Jongho's heart clenched at the mention of Yeosang, who was recovering but still hadn't regained consciousness yet.</p><p>Yunho continued with a bitter chuckle. "And now this happened. I guess sometimes you just have to live through it yourself to understand it." He was holding in his tears but now a single drop rolled down his cheek.</p><p>He thought of Mingi's erratic behavior and the times when Mingi lashed out at him for no reason. They seemed insignificant before, but the car accident somehow amplified them, and now they were screaming at Yunho like a dozen alarms blaring.</p><p>Still, something at the corner of his heart urged him to ask, "Do you know where my mirror is?"</p><p>Jongho looked at Yunho as if he was crazy. "They did give me your belongings." He pulled open a drawer under the counter and ruffled around until he found a small bag. "Oh right. It broke during the crash. It wasn't sheltered in a bag or anything, so it must've hit something during the impact."</p><p>Jongho handed the small pouch to Yunho, who took it with trembling fingers. Inside was the familiar light blue cover of the mirror, but the actual glass was broken, the thin cracks across the surface forming an intricate spider web.</p><p>And when Yunho took it out from the bag and looked at it, his reflection was separated into a hundred tiny pieces.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Ready or Not</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho can't decide whether he wants the truth or not.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you sure you don't want to stay one more day?" Jongho asked, packing things into a bag as Yunho changed out of his hospital gown.</p><p>Yunho poked his head out from a white fleece sweater with a grunt. "I'm <em>sure</em>. I've been here for almost two weeks. I can't stay any longer or I will go bankrupt from paying all those hospital bills." Jongho was still shooting him a worried gaze, so Yunho moved his arms and head to make a point. "Look, I'm totally fine. Nothing hurts."</p><p>"But you're safer here."</p><p>Understanding the implications behind that statement, Yunho placed down the coat he was about to put on and faced his friend. "I get it," he began, his heart sitting heavily in his chest, his guts twisting uncomfortably in his stomach. "But I have to find out what's really going on. I told you, I'm ready now. To put it in your words, I'm going to look at the rest of the package."</p><p>Jongho's grip on the bag slackened. With eyes fixed on the zipper, he broached, "Can't you just end it here?" He paused, acutely aware of the thin ice he was walking on. "You've seen the news, right?"</p><p>"No," Yunho replied, throwing the coat over his shoulders even though he was heating up from the lie. He couldn't have not seen the news - he checked it every day, almost religiously, just to check one thing, even though he knew he wouldn't like what he saw. But he had to confirm it for himself to cut off all hope and cease his wishful thinking.</p><p>"The assaults stopped for a week after your car accident," Jongho said, voicing out what Yunho couldn't. "And now it's worse than before. It's not you, so it has to be him."</p><p>A group of nurses and doctors strolled past their hospital ward, their hurried footsteps bouncing off the plain white walls and traveling through the propped open door into Yunho's ears. His heart thudded lightly beneath his ribcage like the clogs hitting the hard tile floors as he took his bag from Jongho's hand and started towards the door, trying to keep a collected demeanor.</p><p>Jongho stared at the back of Yunho's shrinking figure and sighed. It was another short moment before he could put on a mask of feigned optimism and catch up with his friend. </p><p>They walked to the elevators in silence, descended onto the ground floor in silence, and broke away from the gloomy aura of the building in silence. </p><p>"Let's go eat dinner. I'm starving and I miss human food," Yunho said as they boarded a minibus that would take them back to the city center. Despite the joke about hospital meals, he didn't smile.</p><p>The cheery disguise was still on Jongho's face, but he didn't realize it was so fragile it would break as soon as he spoke. "Sure," he said, heart aching when he saw through Yunho's nonchalant expression as a weak attempt to ignore the elephant in the room and their unfinished conversation.</p><p>Jongho shifted in the narrow seat and angled his body just as the bus began moving. "I know you would never leave him alone. I know you want to find out the truth, talk through it, and reconcile. I know because you put people you care about before yourself. So can you do <em>me </em>a favor and end this for good?"</p><p>Yunho stared straight ahead, his facial muscles pulled taut from faking a neutral look.</p><p>Jongho bit his lip. The rest was hardest to say, but he didn't want to leave off sounding selfish, and he knew he would regret it if he didn't make himself clear enough, so he continued, "One car accident is enough, isn't it? Don't risk your life again by going back to him."</p><p>That dealt the final blow to Yunho's composure. He flinched. There was no way to escape on a moving vehicle, so he forced a reply. "The fact that I'm given another chance means I have to," he said, stopping there even though it wasn't a complete answer.</p><p>He didn't want Jongho to know that a part of him still loved Mingi very much and he couldn't lose him just like that.</p><p>A silence lapsed over the two of them. Jongho wanted to protest, but he knew from the determination shining in Yunho's hard eyes that there would be no point. "At least tell me when and where you'll go."</p><p>Uncertainty made Yunho's heart drop as he was pulled back into reality. The answer was, he didn't know. He hadn't made a solid plan yet, and all his confidence shattered - like the broken mirror Mingi gave him he so stubbornly kept - when he realized he wasn't actually ready to face the truth yet.</p><p>"I don't know," Yunho replied honestly, and Jongho was sensible enough to drop the topic on that note.</p><p>Despite the dismal conversation on the bus, they had a light-hearted meal together like they always would before that one phone call. Before Mingi.</p><p>"Take care. Don't come to work until you're completely recovered." Jongho handed his credit card to the waiter before Yunho could stop him. "And go home straight afterward, okay? I would walk you there, but my parents are visiting for Christmas. Can you believe it? A week before Christmas Day." He took the card back with a receipt and stood up.</p><p>Yunho chuckled. His parents never bothered with Christmas since they would come over for New Year anyway and he would always spend time with Jongho's family instead, but now that Mingi was in the picture, he wondered what this year was going to look like.</p><p>"...almost set the kitchen on fire." Yunho didn't realize he had zoned out until he caught the last part of the sentence that was pulled entirely out of context. "I guess we'll part ways here."</p><p>They were standing in front of a subway station, city-dwellers navigating around them easily like a river around a rock. "Congratulations on your discharge," said Jongho, stretching his arms out for a hug.</p><p>"Do people say that?" A teasing smile formed on Yunho's lips as he stepped into the warm embrace. He pretended not to notice the sour edge on Jongho's voice but prayed silently that Yeosang would wake up in time for the season.</p><p>Jongho warned Yunho to return home immediately one more time before he disappeared into the station. Despite the promise that he would, Yunho found himself walking towards Mingi's place instead.</p><p>He first noticed it when he saw the extravagant amount of decorations on shop windows and streetlights. Christmas trees of all sizes stood by the doors that were covered with glittering snowflakes, shiny ornaments, and gilded letters that made up all sorts of messages. The peeled-off paint on lampposts was decorated with colorful tinsels and bright LED lights that outshone the actual lamp perched on top.</p><p>Even the apartment building Mingi lived in did its part, with inflated statues of snowman and reindeer, pots of scarlet poinsettias, and a huge wreath to prettify their entrance.</p><p>It looked warm and welcoming compared to the quiet neighborhood Yunho lived in, and yet he stood outside the door, boots crunching on the snow and fingers curling in his pockets as he shivered in the cold.</p><p>People strolled past him, most already holding bags of gifts and snacks for the special occasion. Some were couples spending their time together before they had to join their families, holding warm drinks in their gloved hands and sending puffs of steam into the air as they chatted away with smiles as bright as the Christmas lights everywhere.</p><p>Yunho could picture himself with Mingi, having fun like everyone else was. He would be with the Mingi who held his hand, who always beamed at him, who cheered him on when they went hiking, who gave him the most meaningful gift he ever received. The only difference would be the snow surrounding them.</p><p>And then it actually began snowing, tiny crystals landing on the strip of exposed skin on Yunho's neck and sending chills through his body. The whiteness flurried in the air, washing away the fantasy in his head.</p><p>He looked up at the building. If he entered now, if he found Mingi and asked his flatmate to explain everything, could they still walk on the streets like the couples he saw?</p><p>He hesitated until night came by and the decorative lights flickered to life one after the other, illuminating the city once again. Then he turned around and set out towards his home before the ice-coldness of his body could reach his heart.</p><p>After that, Yunho kept returning to the building whenever he had time, but not once did he went in. He would always imagine a romantic Christmas with the person he loved, and every time he would give up before he stepped inside, before that hope could be crushed under the weight of the truth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. One Last Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mingi pays a final visit to Yunho, and Yunho had no choice but to go against his heart to protect the both of them.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later, Yunho went to work for the first time since his accident. He told himself he hadn't given up on finding the truth yet, but the reluctance that seized him every time he found himself in Mingi's neighborhood said otherwise.</p><p>"He didn't even try to contact you this whole time," Jongho said. "That could only mean he's guilty." As always when he talked about Mingi, there was concealed hatred in Jongho's disdainful tone and stony eyes.</p><p>The comment didn't come as a surprise to Yunho. He knew Jongho was right; he just didn't want to accept it.</p><p>In fact, he thought of it in a different way. He took this as a sign to leave things as it is; he couldn't revert things to a clean state when there was clearly something more to Mingi's erratic behavior, but he still had pleasant memories with Mingi and he didn't want the truth to destroy them all. </p><p><em>I could live with this</em>, thought Yunho. "Or maybe there's a reasonable explanation for all this." He could add that Mingi's flatmate - San, he recalled - was probably the answer to this mystery, but Jongho, with his head angled towards his desk, didn't seem interested to continue the conversation.</p><p>Yunho turned his attention to his own headphone set on the table. He picked it up, knowing every groove and curve on its worn surface, even the small bump where he had broken it and had to be repaired. It conjured both memories he cherished the most and memories he wanted desperately to forget.</p><p>His fingers twitched. The confidence he had when he spoke drowned under the uncertainty that flooded his mind without warning. He remembered what happened after his first dinner with Mingi, the insufferable yearning he felt as he tried to contact him. A wave of dread washed over him when he realized he was about to relive it.</p><p>It might've been the sudden whir of a printer being turned on, or the clanks of a pen holder hitting the ground. No matter which one it was, it chased Yunho's thoughts away and pulled him back to his senses.</p><p>With the headphones snug around his ears, he received the first call in weeks. It was almost as if he was starting afresh. <em>Almost.<br/></em></p><p>"...I can walk you through the basic steps of opening up a second account so you can transfer money between your accounts," Yunho explained fluently. The professional tone seeped into his voice naturally as he spoke.</p><p>He guided his client by listing the steps one by one, and everything was going so smoothly that Yunho thought there had to be some sort of muscle memory in him that allowed him to get back into the flow so easily. While he waited for his client to complete a particular step, he took a sip of water to soothe his dry throat, listening to the faint overlapping voices of his colleagues speaking into their microphones with the same confident and kind tone.</p><p>It felt so normal, and for a moment he was back to two months ago, before he met Mingi, when he was just a young man trying to live by with a mundane job, when the only concern was his mild incompatibility with the nature of his work.</p><p>"<em>Hello</em>?" The calm state was shattered when the sharp word traveled into Yunho's ears.</p><p>Yunho asked the man on the other side whether he was ready for the next step but before he had even finished the question he realized why the man had sounded so impatient.</p><p>He stared at the monitor, at the extra zero that wasn't supposed to be there, standing out like a grey wolf in a flock of white sheep.</p><p>His hands shot out in reflex, keys clacking under his fingers and apologies flying out of his mouth as he fixed his mistake. The client would have to transfer the extra amount back into the other account, which, to a regular person, would merely be a slight inconvenience with the two-step verification in between. But things were very different for a person who was hurrying to work, especially when it was early Monday morning, <em>and </em>Christmas Eve.</p><p>"What the hell? I thought I could finish this faster if I called, but I would've been done by now if it wasn't for you!" The livid complaints sounded scratchy through the headphones.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Mr. Lim," said Yunho again, after the first wave of obscenities was over. "I understand the inconvenience this caused and I deeply apologize for that. But the money is ready and the process will be over if you enter your one-time password."</p><p>The confidence and patience in his voice surprised Yunho himself and though he hadn't fully registered it yet, he knew it was Mingi who helped him overcome his weakness.</p><p>"How would I know you didn't make other mistakes? Now I have to waste even more time double-checking everything!"</p><p>Yunho jumped at the furious shouts. He wasn't expecting more hostility and he frowned, but he pressed his lips and focused on helping the client. "I can help you-"</p><p>"I appreciate your kindness and all," interrupted the man, the sarcasm obvious in his sneer. "But being nice doesn't mean you're helpful. I assume you weren't paying full attention and that's why you made such a rookie mistake. So I don't think you <em>want</em> to help me. Thanks, but I'll find someone else."</p><p>A muffled thump indicated the end of the call. Yunho didn't even have a chance to say anything. He closed his eyes and willed the nasty comments to leave, to be erased from his memory. When that didn't work, he instinctively reached inside his pocket for the mirror, only to remember as he flipped the cover open that the glass had shattered during the car crash.</p><p>He stared inside it anyway, at the distorted reflection, his face severed by snaking cracks. <em>This mirror's different because it shows you what I see when I look at you. </em>Yunho shut the cover. That wasn't right. The mirror was broken.</p><p>In one swift motion, he tore off the headset and threw it onto his desk with a clatter. He stood up and walked to the washroom as calmly as he could manage with blood pounding in his veins.</p><p>The rectangular framed mirrors were dotted with dried water stains, but Yunho could see himself clearly now. He looked at the soft almond-shaped eyes, the pupils barely noticeable in the circles of dark brown irises, the wavy hair on his forehead newly dyed in a matching black color, and the slight curve of his lips that looked like a precursor to a smile.</p><p>He tried to see what Jongho and Mingi had told him to see, what he taught himself to see during the past month. That he was a nice, compassionate, and caring person, and not whatever his contemptuous clients had shaped him to be.</p><p>It would always work when he used the mirror Mingi gave him, but something was different this time, and Yunho knew - with a sudden indescribable urge to look away - that it wasn't only the mirror.</p><p>The things he heard from the phone call just now resurfaced in his mind. <em>Being nice doesn't mean you're helpful.<br/></em></p><p>He was called nice, not as a compliment, but as a criticism. That revelation brought another memory into his head, so fresh he could hear the person saying the words as if he was there with him.</p><p>
  <em>You're pretending to be nice...Hiding your bad traits and showing off the good parts.</em>
</p><p>He gripped the edge of a sink, trying to calm his chaotic thoughts under Mingi's voice and the whirring engine of his car. It was near impossible when his heart was clenching with hurt and pain.</p><p>Yunho was so overwhelmed with the sensations that he didn't notice Jongho enter until he felt the soft touch on his shoulder that anchored him in reality.</p><p>"Are you okay?" Jongho's voice sounded distant. "You shouldn't come to work if you're not feeling well."</p><p>Yunho didn't think he could form coherent sentences in his state, but he must've said something because the next thing he heard was, "Look, he's doing you more harm than good. He's dangerous. You have to forget about him."</p><p>He looked up at Jongho's round eyes, glistening with concern under the ceiling lights. Jongho seemed to always give him that look, and the familiarity calmed Yunho enough for him to realize that Jongho might be right.</p><p>His life had been a rollercoaster since he met Mingi; he never knew what was going to happen, so the safest option was to get off.</p><p>The logic was clear to his brain, but his stubborn heart barely even wavered. "I think I'll go home," he said, dodging the topic.</p><p>Jongho frowned and offered to accompany him, but Yunho shook his head adamantly and left the washroom.</p><p>Yunho managed to stow his emotions away as he rode the elevator down the building. He would deal with them later when he finally made up his mind about whether to find San and learn the truth.<br/><br/>When he thought later, he was thinking a few days. Not a few minutes as he walked out of the office building and saw Mingi standing by the fountain.</p><p>His first instinct was to walk around the other side of the fountain and reach the main street unnoticed, but Mingi turned around at that exact moment and spotted him before he could go anywhere.</p><p>They stared at each other. Neither of them did anything. Then, hesitantly at first, Mingi walked towards Yunho.</p><p>Despite the cold, Yunho felt sweat on his hands and heat rising up his neck from his chest and shoulders. Frozen on the spot, his heart thrummed against his chest as he watched Mingi come closer and realized that his fear was increasing with each resounding beat. Fear because he no longer knew what to expect from the person approaching him.</p><p>Was Mingi going to smile and hug him gently? Or was he going to shout at him and grab the collar of his shirt?</p><p>If he thought about it carefully he would know that Mingi had only acted out at night so far, but he didn't have the resources to make that connection.</p><p>Mingi planted himself in front of Yunho. "Are you feeling better? I'm sorry I didn't visit you in the-"</p><p>"Why are you here?" Yunho asked sourly.</p><p>"I-" Mingi shifted uncomfortably. His cheeks were red from the cold. "I'm so sorry about the car crash. I don't know what happe-" He sighed and started again. "I know there's nothing I can say to make this right. I prepared myself for the worse, but I wanted to see you one last time, so I came."</p><p>Yunho looked at Mingi's tousled hair that ruffled messily in the breeze and his downturned eyes that would've looked gentle but were now filled with contrite. Yunho's chest naturally tightened with empathy and love, but he ignored the feeling and hardened his gaze. "You've seen me, so go now."</p><p>A flash of hurt crossed Mingi's face. "I will. Just-" He took something out of his pocket and stretched his palm open. "I thought your mirror might've broken during the crash, so I got another one for you."</p><p>The familiar sky blue color and the round font that spelled out his name stared up at Yunho, and he stared back blankly.</p><p>"I might be gone from your life after today," Mingi continued. "but I don't want you to forget who you are."</p><p>Yunho's eyes burned, and it wasn't only because of the dry and crisp winter air anymore. Through his blurring vision, he could still see the snowflakes falling in big white clusters. He could tell a snowstorm was coming, one as strong as the cascade of emotions that rose up his chest.</p><p>The hurt from the phone call earlier, the despair that Mingi might be dangerous after all, and most of all the frustration from his inability to make a concrete decision, all culminated into one single outburst.</p><p>"I don't want it." Yunho slapped Mingi's hand away, knocking the mirror off his palm. It hit the ground and the cover broke off from its hinges. He pulled out the original one from his pocket and shoved it towards Mingi. "You can have this one back too."</p><p>He exhaled shakily and looked up with watery eyes. "It's no use to me anymore because I never know what you're thinking." He paused to pull himself together one last time. His voice was trembling and he knew he was losing control. "One moment you're smiling and the next you're swearing at me. I don't understand you, and I'm tired of trying to."</p><p>Then, without another word, Yunho turned around and stormed off, ignoring the tears rolling down his cheeks and the stake in his heart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Love and Hatred</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho lets two of the strongest emotions guide him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The door was left open a gap. San wasn't home. It was his chance.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi pushed the door gently, just enough for him to squeeze past. He softened his footsteps even though no one would hear him, and padded towards San's desk.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was late afternoon. The drawn curtains allowed sunlight to filter through, casting an orange film onto the wooden surface that cut off only at the corner farthest from the windows. Magazine boxes filled with an array of books and folders lined against the wall at the edge of the desk, the thick spines displaying words only medical students could understand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mingi looked past the pen holders overflowing with colored highlighters and the table lamp stuffed in the middle of all the stationery, directing his gaze towards the columns of drawers below.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He searched methodically from top to bottom. Some were empty, freeing small clouds of dust into the air as he pulled them open, while others were filled with unnamed binders he had to flip open before he was sure that there was nothing he needed inside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The more he searched, the more clumsy he got, leaving some drawers slightly agape and slamming some shut with a bit too much force. Outside, the setting sun was angling away from the windows, its rays not quite reaching the desk anymore, letting the shadow from the far corner extend and replace the warm glow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A sense of unsettling anticipation made Mingi's fingers tingle as he reached for the last drawer. The keyhole on it made him hold his breath as he tried the handle. Not knowing whether he wanted it to be locked or not, his heart pounded as he gave it a tug.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It slid open smoothly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A single yellow folder sat inside the deep compartment. He recognized it immediately - San was holding it last time, before he went out for the car drive with Yunho. He should've listened to San that day, he thought. Would he have avoided the car crash if he did?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Feeling his heart clench with guilt, he shook his head and refocused on the thin file. It was too late for regrets.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Very slowly he lifted the cover, his hand tensing so much his arm ached where it was still recovering from the car crash. He saw a corner of the page inside. The information jumped out at him: a hospital logo, his name, a date from four years ago. The secret about him, everything San hid from him, would all be revealed. He spread the page open wider, scanned the page. His eyes went too fast, but his brain picked out "diagnosis" and "identity". Trying to slow down, he moved on the lines below-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Mingi?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The folder dropped to the floor soundlessly. Mingi spun around just in time to dodge San, who dropped down next to him and picked up the folder. San placed it back inside the drawer and slammed it shut.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You aren't supposed to see that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why not? You were going to show me that anyw-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No!" Panic edged San's voice. "Things are already too messy for that."</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Mingi paid no attention to the spikes of iciness whenever a snowflake landed on his raw and exposed hands. The rushing water of the fountain, the deep rumbling of passing vehicles, and the urgent thumps of his shoes against the ground were all collectively an imperceptible drone in the background.</p><p>It took him a while to recover from the shock, to tear his gaze away from his gift that now laid in pieces next to his feet. But now he ran, arms and legs stinging from the abrupt contractions.</p><p>The only thing he saw was Yunho. Everything else was irrelevant, and they melted away into meaningless images around him.</p><p>He reached out and grabbed Yunho's sleeves, not wanting to hurt the other further than he already had. The moment he made contact, the moment Yunho stopped and turned around, his world came back to life. The colors and the sounds flooded into his peripheral vision as if a previously severed connection was restored.</p><p>Yunho's legs grew weak the moment he felt Mingi's hand on him. There was no anger left in him, just unbearable pain.</p><p>"Wait." It was a pathetic word, but it was the only thing Mingi came up with.</p><p>"No, just <em>stop</em>." Yunho wiped his tears messily, braced himself, and looked up. His eyes stilled on Mingi's blue hair, something he found so peculiar the first time they met and had gotten used to overtime. Yet now, as he looked closely at how Mingi's brown pupils clashed with the vibrant strands, he realized the familiarity was gone, and it once again looked strange to him.</p><p>"If you talk now, I know I will keep going, pretending nothing is happening," Yunho shouted even though it was attracting stares, because that was the only way to keep his tears at bay. "Then you'll hurt me again, just like all those times before, and we'll argue like this again. It's a vicious cycle, and someone's got to break it."</p><p>The grip on Yunho's sleeve loosened. Mingi could barely feel his numb fingers, but he didn't put his hand back inside his pockets. "I want to fix it, not break it," he said quietly.</p><p>Yunho widened his eyes in disbelief. "But <em>can </em>you? Can you explain why you tried so hard to show me my true self, that the bad things people say about me are wrong, and then turn around and tell me that I'm just <em>pretending</em> to be nice so I can hurt <em>you</em>?"</p><p>He thought about the stray cats in the alley near his home. How he found San there. The assaults around his neighborhood. Jongho's friend. His car crash. Suddenly he couldn't stop the accusations.</p><p>"It was all you, wasn't it? I didn't believe it, but it was all you. You sped- you drove the car into the wrong lane on purpose, didn't you? But..." Yunho frowned, tasting something salty on his lips. His heart was aching, desperately trying to cling to the faint glimmer of hope as he remembered what the teacher - Mingi's colleague - told him.</p><p>
  <em>He gets super moody at night...Rumors said that it has something to do with an incident from his past.</em>
</p><p>"You keep mentioning your father," he continued. "Did something happen to him? Does it all have something to do with your-"</p><p>"What are you talking about?" Mingi interrupted. "I don't remember what I said...but why would I crash the car on purpose?" He dragged a hand across his face, wishing he had found San's folder faster and read its contents, so he would have at least some answers for Yunho. For both of them.</p><p>Yunho forced the next words out of his mouth, the bitterness burning his tongue. "Look, I don't care anymore. I'm disappearing from your life so we can stop asking these questi-." He stopped abruptly when he saw a figure zooming past behind Mingi. "Jongho?"</p><p>Jongho halted and turned towards them. Yunho noticed that his eyes were sparkling with urgency and that his hand was clenching his phone tightly.</p><p>"What's happening?" Yunho asked, jogging up to his friend.</p><p>"Yeosang woke up," Jongho said hurriedly, shrugging his coat on properly. "I thought you were going home." That was when he noticed Mingi, still standing a distance away where Yunho had left him. "Why-"</p><p>"He was waiting here," Yunho explained, following Jongho's contemptuous gaze. "Are you going to the hospital? Can I come with you?"</p><p>Jongho didn't bother questioning when he saw the hardness in Yunho's eyes. "Of course."</p><p>Relief coursed through Yunho's veins. It took him all his willpower not to turn his neck to address Mingi, but as he ran to the road and got inside a cab with Jongho, he found himself feeling glad that he could escape the torturing conversation he was having.</p><p>At the hospital, they found Yeosang sitting on his bed, nursing a cup in his hands with a confused expression.</p><p>Yunho wondered if that was how he looked like when he was in the same situation weeks ago.</p><p>"Oh god...how are you feeling?" Jongho rushed to the bed, examining Yeosang's face. His blonde hair, now slightly greasy, twinkled under the lights. The bruises and cuts were gone, but his skin looked paler and shadows formed on his hollow cheeks.</p><p>Yeosang winced as he twisted his upper body to put the cup back onto a table. "Like my cousin's lego model I broke accidentally."</p><p>Despite the circumstances, Jongho let out a small chuckle. "Oh, by the way, this is my friend at work, Yunho. We're all the same age."</p><p>"Yunho?" Yeosang looked up at Yunho with his almond-shaped eyes. They were glazed over as if he hadn't quite woken up yet, but there was also a spark of remembrance in the ebony pupils.</p><p>"Do you know him?" Jongho tilted his head.</p><p>"No...but the person who did this to me," Yeosang spread his arms a bit to indicate his wounded body. "Mentioned that name."</p><p>Unease twisted Yunho's stomach into knots. Chills traveled down his spine, even though the hospital was heated and his coat was still on.</p><p>The question burst out of Jongho's mouth in reflex. "You remembered what happened?"</p><p>"I think I dreamt about it," said Yeosang, as calmly as if he was just talking about the weather. "Did the police catch the culprit?"</p><p>Jongho shook his head firmly. "They pretended that they did, but people are still being assaulted. Do you remember his face?"</p><p>The nod of Yeosang's head made Yunho bite his lip. He wanted to leave the room, but his feet stayed glued onto the floor.</p><p>"Not really," said Yeosang, frowning as he tried to retrieve the evasive memory of his dream. "I'm pretty sure it was a man judging by voice and strength, and he's almost as tall as Yunho."</p><p>Yunho's stomach churned uncomfortably with newborn anxiety. A thought sneaked up at the back of his mind. A thought he didn't dare to think-</p><p>"Oh!" Yeosang exclaimed. "I saw blue hair."</p><p>That blow knocked the air out of the two people listening.</p><p>"Do you know why he attacked you?" Jongho pushed, jumping at the opportunity. "Why did he mention Yunho?"</p><p>"Jongho-"</p><p>"What?" Jongho turned around, unforeseen anger burning in his dilated pupils. "You wouldn't believe it, so I'm showing you the evidence." He faced Yeosang again and repeated the question.</p><p>"He kept saying I killed his father." Yeosang spoke as if Yunho wasn't even there. "That I was the same as Yunho."</p><p><em>His father</em>. The words rang in Yunho's ears. There was a connection after all. A small puzzle piece to his myriad of questions. He cursed before he could stop himself and started towards the door.</p><p>"Where are you going?" The plastic chair wobbled as Jongho shot to his feet.</p><p>"To Mingi's home so I can ask his flatmate to tell me the truth," Yunho replied quickly, just so he could leave. He knew he couldn't run; Jongho was much faster than him.</p><p>"Are you mad?" Jongho stepped around the bed and went up to Yunho. "You just heard how dangerous he is!"</p><p>"If there is an explanation for everything Mingi did, I have to find it. I know he's not dangerous. He was good to me. It doesn't make sens-"</p><p>"You told me yourself!" Jongho glared at Yunho, frustrated at the obstinacy. "He said you're just pretending to be nice, that you're a fake. He hurt you, physically and emotionally. Why are you still defending him?"</p><p>Yunho wavered. He <em>was </em>fed up with Mingi, back then at the fountain. The hatred, however, retreated to uncover something he tried to hide, or rather, something else that was mixed up with the fierce emotion. When he realized what it was, the stake that pierced through his heart since the day he was discharged from the hospital finally went away.</p><p>"Didn't you tell me not to let other people's opinions change who I am? I'm not going to hurt him just because of what he said or did to me. I loved- <em>love</em> him. I'm not leaving him when he's lost and alone."</p><p>One of Jongho's feet scraped backward and he shifted, stunned. He blinked, silently swallowing the words he wanted to say but knew would do nothing to change Yunho's mind.</p><p>"Then...can you at least- at least let me go with you. Wait till tomorrow morning. It's Christmas and they will both probably be at home."</p><p>Yunho sighed, but when he spoke there was only weariness left in his voice. "Why? Weren't you always urging me to see the whole picture and not just the parts I want to see? I can't wait any longer. It's the only way I can do to help Mingi. To fix this."</p><p>Jongho took Yunho's hand gently and looked down at his feet. "Please. You just recovered. I don't want anything else to happen to you."</p><p>The realization that he wasn't the only one hurting made Yunho give up on protesting further. He delayed this long enough. One more night wouldn't hurt.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Snowstorm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho finds Mingi at the most unexpected place, and a snowstorm begins to brew.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jongho insisted that Yunho should stay at his house for one night. Yunho thought it was ridiculous, that he was being treated like a child, but Jongho's stern and unyielding tone was not something he wanted to contend with, so he eventually complied.</p><p>Yunho turned to his back on the unfamiliar bed and stared at the ceiling. His eyes had gotten used to the darkness since he switched off the lights - which was a long time ago, or at least <em>felt </em>like a long time ago - and everything looked grayish-blue without light saturating them.</p><p>There was barely any furniture in the unused guest room. Other than the creaky bed frame and the dusty mattress he was on, there was a bedside cabinet to his right with a digital clock set on top. On the other side was a floor lamp, its long body supported by a flat disc at the bottom and a light blue shade shielding the light bulb at the top. If Yunho squinted, he could still make out the dark figures across the room - a stumpy armchair, a three-legged table, and a rolled-up carpet.</p><p>The room was so quiet Yunho could hear his every intake of breath. So he jolted when the door clicked open and a long rectangular beam of light leaked through the gap.</p><p>Yunho shuffled and sat up, the noise almost like the scratchy white noise from a radio in the silence.</p><p>"You're still awake?" Jongho whispered, padding towards the bed. The door swung slowly shut behind him, but the lock didn't quite click and a thin ray of light still made it through.</p><p>The stimulation from the brightness stung Yunho's eyes, which was already groggy from his attempts at sleep. He ignored the rhetorical question and asked, "Why did you come?"</p><p>"Because I knew you wouldn't be able to sleep," replied Jongho. He presented a cup of warm water Yunho had not noticed before, which Yunho took gratefully.</p><p>Yunho occupied himself with the drink to avoid conversation. He didn't feel like talking about it.</p><p>After the hospital visit, he had lounged in Jongho's living room, trying to kill time until it was time to sleep so he could wake up the next day and finally do what he had meant to do weeks ago.</p><p>Wariness followed him all day like a suit of rigid armor as he anticipated and feared the things San would tell him. He would make San say everything even if San didn't want to. He was tired of secrets, even though knowledge could sometimes be scarier.</p><p>The liquid soothed Yunho's dry throat and warmed his chest and lung areas. He felt more comfortable now, the fatigue seeping into his body. Earlier today he still believed that his wariness would tire him out eventually, but now he realized it was the opposite - wariness warded off weariness. So his eyes were tired, his muscles were limp, but his mind was wide awake.</p><p>"Just relax," said Jongho. "You're just talking to him, right? And I'll be there."</p><p>"Yes," Yunho replied. The word came out slow and his eyelids were threatening to fall. "But what if-"</p><p>"Stop thinking so much. It's good that you're looking for the answer. You're not doing anything wrong. You said it yourself. You're helping him." Towards the end, there was a strain in Jongho's voice, especially on the last word as he tried to avoid saying Mingi's name.</p><p>Yunho noticed it under the reassuring tone. He pretended he didn't, but he felt the sarcasm and the artificial nature. Jongho thought he already knew the answer - that Mingi was just the average manic criminal - and wanted Yunho to face that truth.</p><p>The tiny glow from the door gave a lighter shade to Jongho's pupils. They looked gray, like the rest of the room.</p><p>"I'm getting tired," said Yunho tersely, putting the empty cup on the bedside table.</p><p>Slightly taken aback, Jongho took the cup and lingered awkwardly before leaving.</p><p>The silence returned, so thick and heavy it even drowned out the thoughts in Yunho's mind. By some miracle, he drifted into unconsciousness.</p><p>When he woke up again, he was startled into opening his eyes. He shot up into a sitting position, grabbing fistfuls of sheets with his sweaty palms. It wasn't a nightmare, but the image that forced itself into his mind made all the blood rush up to his head and sent his nerves tingling in alarm.</p><p>It was more a memory, rather than a dream. Yunho saw Mingi, the way he was when Yunho left him by the fountain to get to the hospital with Jongho.</p><p>Mingi's brown eyes were darkened with sorrow and distress, their corners drooped downwards as if weighed down by those emotions. His bottom lip was sucked in the way it would when you bit your inner lip. He stared longingly at the taxi that carried Yunho and Jongho away, his hair disheveled from the wind and dotted with white from the snow.</p><p>Then, after the taxi disappeared into the distance, Mingi turned around and walked back to the spot where the mirrors fell and broke, picking up every piece he could. He did everything slowly, as if every movement took incredible effort.</p><p>Right before the image faded, Yunho caught a single drop of tear fall from Mingi's downturned face, catching a sliver of sunlight and twinkling before it reached the ground.</p><p>Yunho, wide awake now, slid off the bed and trod to the window. It was only when he noticed the blurred yellow glow from the streetlights that he realized there were also tears in his eyes. Clumsily he wiped them away and turned to consult the clock.</p><p>It was dawn, so he knew he wasn't going back to sleep. He looked out again and as if on cue, the streetlights flickered off and the first sign of twilight lightened the sky. </p><p>Jongho was going to wake up soon, and Yunho needed to clear his mind before that, so he put on a coat and walked out, forgetting completely about the raging snowstorm. He anticipated it; even saw it coming when he was talking to Mingi this afternoon with snow falling all around them, but he wasn't prepared for it. </p><p>His fingers turned into popsicles in an instant even though they were stuffed deep inside his pockets. There were still feeling in them though, unlike his nose and ears that now felt detached from his face completely. </p><p>Inches of snow crunched under his boots, the sound merely a murmur amidst the howling winds. Freezing coldness took over every inch of his body and he knew he shouldn't be out here, but it was the only thing that could distract him from the guilt sitting in his heart.</p><p>Guilt from the pain he saw in his dream, on Mingi's face; from breaking the new mirror before he even accepted it as a gift; from leaving Mingi alone in the middle of a conversation; from avoiding the truth for so long even though he knew there was something wrong.</p><p>The cold numbed his feelings and dulled his senses. The effect wouldn't last long, but at least Jongho wouldn't notice anything if he returned now.</p><p>He had wandered to a neighboring block in the same estate and was trying to orient himself among the sheets of snowflakes obscuring his vision and the white veils that grew too dense to see through the farther he tried to look.</p><p>Occupied by the task, he almost missed the gray figure standing a distance away. He assumed the person was a stranger and was about to ignore it when he caught a flash of blue between clumps of falling snow.</p><p>The sight froze Yunho on the spot. The man turned around as if he could sense Yunho's presence. There was no mistaking now; it was Mingi. </p><p>Everything was a meaningless blur until Mingi started trudging through the snow towards Yunho. The twilight strengthened and the storm abated suddenly, giving clarity to all of Mingi's features. He was hunched and there were deep lines under his eyes. Yunho saw the same brown pupils in his dream, only they look even darker, and pierced through the storm with something other than pain. Something Yunho took as anger.</p><p>The guilt came back without warning, like the storm that picked up again and was sending flurries of snow fluttering violently in between the two.</p><p>Overwhelmed with emotion, Yunho lost his voice. He didn't know what to say,<em> if</em> he should say anything. Should he apologize? Tell Mingi about his plans to find San? Suggest Mingi to come along and fix this together?</p><p>Yunho's heart was pounding, but he could just feel the small vibrations against his rib cage with all the stimuli triggering his nerves.</p><p>Mingi was within arm distance now. He looked upset, with a frown on his face.</p><p>Yunho prepared himself for anything. The wind rumbled in his ears and the freezing air formed goosebumps all over his skin.</p><p>Instincts took over and he felt the pressing need to say something first. To show that he was sorry. "Mingi-"</p><p>The word was barely out of his mouth when Mingi lunged at him and grabbed the lapels of his coat roughly, the impact knocking the air out of him.</p><p>Yunho widened his eyes in shock. He saw something flicker across Mingi's eyes, but it was just a flash and he didn't quite catch it because a snowflake floated close to his eyes and he had to blink it away.</p><p>All Yunho could hear now was the rushing blood in his ears. Fear made his mind go blank. </p><p>He knew what it was now. It was unrelenting malice he saw.</p><p>By the time his reflexes kicked in, by the time he realized it was technically still nighttime and he should've been more careful, it was too late.</p><p>Mingi pulled something out from his pocket. It flashed under the twilight.</p><p>Yunho swung his gaze from Mingi's face to the knife, its blade now pointed at his throat.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. From Dawn to First Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho has a very different encounter with Mingi than he had imagined, but he sticks to his beliefs and hopes for the best.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jongho woke up to the whistling wind outside. He groped in the dark until he found his phone on the bedside table and switched it on, squinting at the blinding light of his screen as he checked the time. 7:16 am.</p><p>A chill ran up his spine. He wrapped his arms around himself instinctively, wanting to curl back under his sheets. The only reason he didn't was the fact that Yunho was next door, probably waiting for someone to wake him up.</p><p>Blinking to fight off the weariness, Jongho slid off his bed, put on the cardigan that was draped on the back of his desk chair, and went out into the freezing hallway.</p><p>He tried knocking lightly first, and when he heard no response on the other side, beat the wood with a bit more force. The noise sounded loud and intrusive in the quiet apartment, but there was still no sound from inside.</p><p>"Yunho?" He said, trying the doorknob now. He felt the slightest trace of warmth on the metal surface when he twisted it. That didn't really register as something important until he opened the door and saw the empty, unmade bed.</p><p>With a surge of urgency, Jongho pushed the door open the rest of the way, making it clang against the stopper on the floor. His eyes darted around in his sockets as he scanned his surroundings but the room was small and it didn't take long for him to realize that Yunho wasn't inside.</p><p>He searched the rest of the house hastily, knowing from the dread bubbling in his stomach that it was futile - there was no glow of lights, rushing of tap water, nor the sizzling of breakfast being made.</p><p>Returning to his room, he dialed Yunho's number with one hand and grabbed the winter coat from his closet with another, hurrying to the door while muttering a plea for the call to go through. He kept trying as he stuffed his feet into boots and exited his apartment, listening to the long electronic bleats until his ears had had enough and zoned it out as background noise.</p><p>Once the elevator stopped, he dashed out the doors and towards the security guard sitting behind a counter next to the mailboxes. The middle-aged man, still half-awake, jumped in his seat when Jongho slammed his hands on the counter surface and leaned in. "Have you seen a really tall man leave the building earlier this morning? He has black hair."</p><p>"Well, um..." The guard cleared his throat, clearly flustered. Then a spark of recognition crossed his tired face. "Yes, I did see someone like that around ten minutes ago. He's the only one who left. Everyone is sleeping in since it's Chris-"</p><p>"Thank you," Jongho blurted, already turning to glass doors that led outside.</p><p>A gust of icy wind and snow hit him as soon as he stepped out, but he ignored the cold seeping into his body and concentrated on his phone instead, trying to call Yunho again. The bleats stopped and it cut to voicemail. Jongho's heart sank.</p><p>Clumsily, he moved his already frozen body and lumbered through the inch-thick snow as fast as he could. There was only one place Yunho would go, and if the security guard was right, he couldn't have gone far. Jongho didn't know where Mingi lived, but he would figure that out later. First, he had to get out of his apartment complex-</p><p>A faint noise in the distance seized him. He stopped walking and twisted his body, trying to locate the source. It sounded like a shout, though it was muffled by the raging wind in his ears.</p><p>Then it came again, this time a bit louder. "...to me!"</p><p>The wind carried Jongho's hesitation away and brought unnerving trepidation in its place. He started trudging in the opposite direction he was going.</p><p>Above his head, the darkness of the night was retreating from the sky in preparation for the sun to rise. Twilight spilled out from the horizon, saturating the world. With a bit more color, Jongho started to see things stand out among the big blanket of white and grey snow.</p><p>The first thing that caught his eyes was a spot of black. And then it was the spot of blue right next to it.</p><p>Jongho broke into a run, almost falling as he stumbled over his boots. He managed to halt himself just a few steps away from the scene. Yunho and Mingi were there. There was a moment when his brain couldn't quite catch on to what he was seeing. Then he saw Mingi draw out a knife and he felt the blood drain out of his face.</p><p><em>Yunho! </em>He wanted to shout, but horror had stolen his words away.</p><p>"You killed my father, I know you did. Admit it! Say that you killed him!" Mingi's shouts pierced through the air like the blade he was waving around dangerously next to Yunho's neck.</p><p>Yunho breathed in stale air. His legs were weak underneath and he had a feeling that Mingi's strong grasp on his coat was the only thing holding him up. "No, I didn't," he said as calmly as he could. <em>He kept saying I killed his father, </em>Yeosang had said. It was all just a misunderstanding. "Probably no one did. I know you're confused, and I'm actually planning to find San. He can explain every-"</p><p>He cut off abruptly. His eyes met Jongho's and they widened in surprise. Afraid he would give Jongho away, Yunho quickly switched his gaze back. Mingi had his back turned to Jongho; he was so masked in his fury that he hadn't noticed anything yet.</p><p>In that one second of exchange, Jongho saw the fear and sadness in Yunho's dark eyes. The sight made his blood boil. His numbed hands clenched into fists by his sides. He felt his body thaw, and the next moment he was moving again, with eyes fixed on Mingi.</p><p>"...explain everything," Yunho continued, picking up where he left off, trying to put some sense into Mingi's head. He felt like he was getting somewhere, seeing Mingi's cocked head and slightly glazed expression. "Once I know what's going on, I can help..." He trailed off again when he caught movement in his peripheral vision. Jongho, livid eyes burning with menace, was coming towards them with a threatening aura that could melt the snow around him.</p><p>Yunho frowned and shot a sharp gaze at his approaching friend. Mingi noticed the change in expression and began turning around slowly, hands tightening around Yunho's coat. The force pulled Yunho even closer to the knife but he couldn't care about that because Jongho wasn't getting his signals. He couldn't let Jongho aggravate Mingi when he was so close to placating him.</p><p>"Jongho!" Yunho yelled desperately, but it was all useless.</p><p>Jongho lunged forward and yanked harshly on Mingi's armed hand, tearing the two apart.</p><p>"Jongho, let go of him!" Yunho stared at the two in shock, too terrified to move. In a panic, he added, "Mingi, I know you're upset. But we're just trying to he-"</p><p>"He was trying to kill you for god's sake!" Jongho cried incredulously. He grunted as he tried to twist the knife out of Mingi's hand while blocking off attacks. "Call for help!"</p><p>"Fu*k! This is none of your business!" Mingi shouted at Jongho. "This is so annoying! I should've done it earlier so I wouldn't have to deal with this now. Run away now or I will kill you too!"</p><p>Paralyzed with fear, Yunho could only watch. Jongho was holding Mingi off for now, but Mingi was much taller, looming over him like a tower about to fall. Jongho wasn't going to last long.</p><p> "Did you hear me?! Yunho! Get a grip of yourself!"</p><p>Yunho heard him, loud and clear. And he knew he <em>should</em> get a grip of himself and run to the nearest lobby to find a security guard, or call the police, at the very least.</p><p>He heard Mingi's threats, saw the dangerous expression in his eyes, witnessed him doing the things he thought Mingi would never do. Mingi was even about to hurt his best friend right in front of him, but he just couldn't.</p><p>He couldn't imagine the police taking Mingi away as a criminal. Couldn't be afraid of Mingi. Couldn't get angry at him.</p><p>So when he saw Jongho's hand slip away from Mingi's wrist and stumble backward, falling toward the snow-covered floor, when he saw Mingi raise his freed arm with the knife in his hand, he broke out of his trance and ran to them, letting the sole emotion in his heart guide him.</p><p>"Wait, Yunho!"</p><p>Jongho's yells were just a faint drone in the back of Yunho's mind as he threw himself in front of Mingi, whose knife came hurtling down. Yunho saw the blade cut the fabric around his shoulder, but he barely registered the pain that shot up his arm and chest, nor the red liquid that flowed out from the spot and stained his clothes.</p><p>He paid no attention to those sensations and placed his hands on Mingi's shoulders, trying to anchor him in place. Miraculously, the element of surprise and what little height he had on Mingi worked, and Mingi stilled, confused arms hovering by his sides uselessly.</p><p>Jongho pushed himself off the ground, palms stinging and red from pressing against the snow. His heart clenched painfully when he saw the blood trickling down Yunho's shoulder and staining the whiteness around his feet, but he learnt his lesson and suppressed the overpowering urge to start another fight.</p><p>In the end, all he did, all he felt like he could do, was call for an ambulance and hope it wouldn't be needed.</p><p>"Mingi," Yunho began, voice surprisingly steady. He could feel the vibrations of his rib cage from his heart pounding in his chest, the sensation mingling with the buzzing of nerve impulses rushing to his limbs, screaming at him to run away from the danger right in front of his eyes.</p><p>Yet he stayed unmoving and looked up at Mingi. The layer of snow on his dark blue hair was like spumes of a wave as the strands ruffled in the violent wind. His plump lips were pale and cracked, as if the color had rushed up to his cheeks, where it was reddish from the cold and dry air. Above that were his eyes. His eyes, dark and intense with all his rage held inside.</p><p>But what Yunho really saw was the pair of brown, sharp-edged eyes, slightly downturned to give them a soft and gentle look. At some point Mingi had repositioned his knife again, but Yunho didn't care. He just stared at the eyes that once stared back lovingly.</p><p>"I opened my heart to you," said Yunho. "Actually, you helped me open it, by letting me know it's safe to let you see my true self. I felt your love, and I also let you hurt me multiple times."</p><p>Something flickered across Mingi's eyes. The hand holding the knife wavered almost imperceptibly. "What are you rambling on about?" he asked, but the words were hollow and without aggression. He almost sounded uncertain.</p><p>"I saw everything, and I know which one is the real you," Yunho continued, tears pooling in his eyes. "You're appreciative, grateful, and caring. The kindest, most considerate person I've ever met."</p><p>In the distance, the tip of sun broke through the horizon and the first ray of light shot across the sky like a yellow ribbon. The metal blade of Mingi's knife caught the light and glinted, blinding him momentarily.</p><p>As he rotated the hilt to angle it away from the sun, he caught a glimpse of his distorted reflection on the flat surface. He blinked and frowned, confused by something only he could see. Then, as if burned, he dropped the knife and stepped back. When he looked up at Yunho, his light brown pupils were trembling with guilt and devastation.</p><p>"What- what did I do? Why was I pointing a knife at you?" Mingi stared down at his shaking hands helplessly, his feet stumbling unsteadily on the snow as if he had lost his sense of balance.</p><p>Noticing the change, Yunho widened his eyes and ran to Mingi. He wrapped his arms around the perplexed man, sending a fresh stab of pain from his shoulder straight up to his brain. He winced but held on tight, refusing to let go. </p><p>The sun rose lazily up the sky, its powerful rays warming Yunho's backside. The snowstorm was finally receding, the wind no longer howling, the snow no longer swirling.</p><p>Yunho had no idea what was happening, but he felt Mingi's arms wrap slowly around his body and saw the snowflakes falling calmly around them, and at that moment, he thought it didn't really matter after all, whether he understood or not.</p><p>He remembered Jongho and twisted his neck.</p><p>His friend was standing behind them and though there was no smile on his lips, his eyes were soft with relief.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. The Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jongho, Yunho, and Mingi find San to learn the truth together, but things turn out to be much more complicated than Yunho had hoped.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho watched the ambulance drive away in silence. The medics were nice, but Jongho still felt humiliated from having to send them away when it was him who called for the service.</p>
<p>He turned around, boots slushing in the snow. He didn't know snow could melt so quickly. Trying to keep a neutral expression, he eyed the bleeding wound on Yunho's left shoulder.</p>
<p>"We need to bring you to a hospital."</p>
<p>"We have to find San now," Yunho said at the same time.</p>
<p>Jongho and Yunho stared at each other, their stony eyes firm and unyielding.</p>
<p>Jongho broke the silence first, tensing his jaw to control his temper. "You're hurt."</p>
<p><em>I'm okay, </em>Yunho wanted to say, but his arm twitched and his facial muscles had to contract to hide a grimace as his shoulder throbbed. "You shouldn't have sent that ambulance away, then." With his good arm, he reached over and held Mingi's hand. It was cold and moist with sweat. "You've seen what happened. We can't wait any longer. Don't you want to know what's going on?"</p>
<p>Exhaustion pushed a sigh out of Jongho's parted mouth. He ran a hand through his hair and looked to the side, irritated at the melted snow that made his head wet and frustrated from having no effective argument against Yunho.</p>
<p>He cast a sidelong glance at Mingi. He looked disorientated, the frown on his brows directed at nothing in particular. Distraught was clear in his shaking pupils and jittering irises. There was a small bloodstain on the hem of his sleeve, but other than that he looked like a piteous and innocent child who just needed help.</p>
<p>Finally, he sighed and said, "You're going to do what you want no matter what I do, so I might as well go with you."</p>
<p>Jongho fell behind, letting the other two lead the way. He observed the tall figures and could tell from the way Yunho tugged Mingi's arm every time they made a turn that Mingi was utterly shaken from the incident. It was odd; he had yet to understand everything and he hadn't forgotten the times Mingi tried to hurt Yunho, but the cold seemed to have put out every last spark of anger left in him.</p>
<p>They went out onto the main street and boarded a taxi. The rest of the trip was completed in heavy silence save for the occasional mumbles as Yunho talked to Mingi.</p>
<p>At the apartment door, Yunho and Jongho waited as Mingi entered the password. Quiet bleeps echoed in the hallway with each tap on the electronic lock. On his side, Jongho could sense Yunho's rigid body.</p>
<p>As soon as the lock clicked the door swung open wildly and a figure appeared on the other side. He gasped when he saw Mingi and stretched an arm out to pull him inside, but Yunho was quicker and slid in between the two.</p>
<p>"You've got some explaining to do," said Yunho, astonished by his own stern voice. Without asking for permission, he stepped over the doorway, forcing San to back away.</p>
<p>Mingi and Jongho followed closely and the door fell shut behind them with a loud bang. Now they stood in the entryway, next to the kitchen door and spilling into the living room.</p>
<p>"Where were you?" asked San, looking at Mingi with a deeply concerned expression. Then he turned to Yunho and Jongho, eyes hardening. "Were you with him?" His gaze landed on Yunho's injured shoulder. "What happened?"</p>
<p>"San-" Mingi started, a pleading tone in his tired voice.</p>
<p>"Tell us," Yunho interrupted. "The <em>something </em>that neither of us know, that you wouldn't let us know because you said we would be better off without knowing. That's clearly not true now, so tell us."</p>
<p>Mingi widened his eyes slightly at Yunho. "San- he told you that?" He frowned. His mind was itching as if he knew there was a piece of memory missing, an empty gap somewhere.</p>
<p>San glanced back and forth between Yunho and Mingi, squirming under his discomfiture. "I- it's..." he scrambled for words and trailed off, eyes darting around nervously. Then his pupils contracted and refocused on Mingi. "You all look tired. We can all talk after we rest and calm down a-"</p>
<p>"Are you kidding me?" Yunho blurted. He flinched and winced from moving his arm.</p>
<p>Jongho snapped his neck towards his friend in surprise. He had never heard Yunho sound like this before. Never <em>saw </em>him like this before - like he was about to hit someone.</p>
<p>"Yunho..." Jongho reached out a pacifying hand, but withdrew it when Yunho inhaled loudly.</p>
<p>The rage traveled back down Yunho's throat like lava. It made his shoulder throb hotly. He clenched his hands into fists, redirecting his anger to himself as his nails dug into the flesh of his palms. "I <em>watched </em>it happen," he continued, voice stretched tight. "Right before my eyes. Mingi was threatening to kill me, and the next moment he was back to normal. You can't pretend like everything's fine anymore."</p>
<p>A look of sheer horror crossed San's face. The kind of horror you had when your secret was exposed right into your face by someone who wasn't supposed to know.</p>
<p>"San, he's right. I want to know too," Mingi said softly, remembering the folder he found in San's room. "This- whatever happened to me."</p>
<p>"You don't understand!" San snapped, now looking at his flatmate with a sliver of distress mixed in with the fear.</p>
<p>"Then <em>make</em> me understand!" Yunho yelled, startling everyone in the room. He glared at San, his fierce eyes the only thing that could pierce through the blanket of tension hanging in the air. "And don't even think about brushing it off with a lie. People are getting hurt and Mingi is confused so don't worsen the situation and tell us the truth so we can do something to help!" He paused to catch his breath, body trembling from vehemence. The pain on his wound was returning, getting more intense each second.</p>
<p>"But that's exactly it,"  San hissed indignantly. "The truth <em>will </em>worsen the situat-"</p>
<p>"No it won't." The voice belonged to Mingi. It was soft, but the firmness gave it an authoritative edge that stopped San mid-sentence.</p>
<p>Everyone turned to Mingi. Jongho felt a ripple in the air between them. "Because I already know what it is. I can feel it. I hear a voice sometimes, in my head. And earlier, I felt another...<em>presence</em> in my body, right before I turned back to normal and realize I wasn't controlling my body." He paused, and no one breathed for a moment. "There's someone else in me, isn't there?"</p>
<p>The invisible blanket ripped apart under the grim implications of those words. Silence filled the room. Silence even weightier than the previous tense atmosphere.</p>
<p>Jongho was so stunned he uttered a bewildered, "<em>What</em>?"</p>
<p>Yunho simply stared at San, waiting for a confirmation. His heart pounded, matching the soft pulse on his shoulder.</p>
<p>A defeated sigh came out of San's mouth. He swayed on his feet and Jongho thought he was about to faint from the pressure, but he straightened himself and disappeared into the corridor that led to his room.</p>
<p>When he returned he was holding a yellow folder in his hand. Mingi's hand twitched at the sight of it.</p>
<p>San walked past them and took a seat on the couch in the living room. Everyone else did the same without hesitation.</p>
<p>Enough time had passed since the incident outside Jongho's apartment for the sun to rise and its rays would have streamed through the glass door leading to the balcony, but the curtains were drawn and what scant light came through were flat and gray.</p>
<p>"It's dissociative identity disorder," San said, cutting to the chase now that there was no point. He placed the folder on the coffee table for the others to take. No one did. "He has two personalities. The second one, the violent one, appeared for the first time when Mingi's father died a few years ago. Mingi saw it happen, and it was right around sunset that day."</p>
<p>At that, Yunho turned to Mingi, who was sitting on the edge closest to the apartment door. Mingi was leaning on his lap, his pale face as white as the intertwined hands he was clenching together.</p>
<p>"The incident traumatized him," San went on, his sentences segmented as if he had to force the individual words out each time. "Since then, the dark will trigger his second personality."</p>
<p>"Did he do it then?" Jongho couldn't help but ask. "Abuse all those animals and assault all those people?"</p>
<p>San averted his gaze to the untouched folder on the table and nodded wordlessly.</p>
<p>"But he has no control over the other-" Yunho defended automatically, his voice surprisingly frail. Each bit of the truth he learned added to the weight on his shoulder and it was crushing him. He couldn't decide which hurt more - his heart or his shoulder.</p>
<p>"Personality," San finished. "They don't know each other's existence. Mingi doesn't know what he did. He forgets most of what he does during the night, and I told him it was the medications' side effects."</p>
<p>"So was it all a lie?" It was Mingi who spoke. "Those medications are for this disorder, not another disease like you told me?" He worded it as a question but it came out sounding like a bitter statement.</p>
<p>San didn't say anything. A tacit admission.</p>
<p>That sparked a flame that rose up Yunho's chest. "Why didn't you tell Mingi earlier? Wasn't he there when he was diagnosed? Why keep this from him?" Each question rose in urgency and volume, and every time he shouted Mingi shrank his head further into his hunched body.</p>
<p>San opened his mouth but closed it again when he saw Mingi's state. Yunho caught the torn expression on his face for a split second before San dipped his head. "He was there and he knew, but there was an incident and he lost part of his memory. I thought it would be better if he started new and lived a normal life."</p>
<p>"How can you call this normal?!" Yunho jumped to his feet, ignoring the burning sensation on his shoulder from the sudden movement.</p>
<p>"It was normal," San stood up too, glowering at Yunho with his impossibly black eyes. "Before <em>you</em> came. He became more emotional, and his second personality comes out more often when he's mentally unstable."</p>
<p>Yunho scoffed and stepped back, incredulous and offended. Jongho got up from his seat in alert, thinking of a way to prevent a fight when his mind was still busy processing all the information. He touched Yunho's arm but he shrugged it off aggressively.</p>
<p>"At least he felt loved," Yunho spat out, "You taught him to be afraid of something he didn't even know about so he can live what you think is a normal life for him. Did you even care about what he thinks?"</p>
<p>If San was taken aback, he didn't show it. Instead, a disdainful smirk played on his lips. "What can love do in a situation like this? Of course I care about what he thinks. I kept this secret<em> because </em>I care. You don't even know what it's like to have another personality inside you. I don't too," he added without shame, "but at least I saw what it does to a person. I don't want that to happen again."</p>
<p>"<em>What?</em>" Yunho shouted, feeling a tremor of fear underneath the anger, his stomach flipping with the terrifying sense that he already knew the answer. "What can possibly be even worse than not knowing about-"</p>
<p>A loud slam cut Yunho off.</p>
<p>Jongho whirled around, stared at the empty spot Mingi was just sitting at. Following his gaze, San swore loudly. They had been too busy arguing to notice Mingi slip away.</p>
<p>Yunho spun around too, eyes widening in fright, stomach twisting with dread. He lunged for the door but a spasm of pain paralyzed his entire left torso and he was forced to stop, right hand bunched up in the blood-soaked coat.</p>
<p>Before he could try again, Jongho barred his way with his body and said, "You can't go in this state!"</p>
<p>"Why aren't you going?!" Yunho turned to San, ignoring Jongho.</p>
<p>"He left without wanting us to know. He wants to be alone," San said, voice almost emotionless.</p>
<p>Yunho's blood boiled. "Well then you're wrong," he retorted, eyes pinned onto San's. "It's times like this when he wants someone to understand him. You made this mistake last time, didn't you? And that's why the incident happened." His heart pounded at what he was about to say. "It was suicide, wasn't it? And you let that happen."</p>
<p>San body tensed visibly, and that was all the confirmation Yunho needed. He pushed Jongho aside and ran out of the apartment, adrenaline already numbing his shoulder.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Déjà Vu</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho rushes out of San's apartment to find Mingi and finds that he has to pour his heart out if he wants to give this a good ending once and for all.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yunho darted out onto the street huffing and swiveled his head left and right until he felt dizzy.</p><p><em>It was suicide.</em> The haunting words replayed over and over in his mind, and each time it did his heart seemed to beat even quicker.</p><p>He chose a direction arbitrarily and started speed-walking. With sweaty hands, he pulled out his phone, dialed Mingi's number, and pressed it shakily against his ear. He mumbled under his breath, praying for Mingi to pick up, but a long beep sounded instead and bounced hollowly off the walls of his mind.</p><p>A terrible feeling twisted his guts, threatening to flip his stomach inside out. He was still deciding what to do next when he heard Jongho call his name.</p><p>"I'll look around this area," Jongho said reassuringly, "You should think of places Mingi might want to go."</p><p>Yunho nodded thankfully. As he watched Jongho jog off he decided to go to his house first. It popped up in his head and there was no time to think twice, so he followed his instincts and broke off into a run.</p><p>The sun hung high up in the sky like an oversized Christmas ornament. Everyone was sleeping in on the special occasion and the streets were quiet, though the extravagant decorations made them look more crowded than ever. </p><p>Yunho ran past golden tinsels, plastic Christmas trees, colorful window stickers, and emerald green wreaths. No lights were on yet but the sun rays reflected off the smooth surfaces of bells and figurines, making the row of shopfronts sparkle and shine like trinkets on a bracelet.</p><p>Gradually the streets dimmed down and the world turned gray. Yunho turned into his neighborhood and felt as if his heart might jump out of his chest as he pushed open the gate that led to his house. He leaped up the stairs two at a time, keys ready in his hand. Still, he fumbled with the lock and the metal jangled frustratingly before the door clicked open. It was then that he realized Mingi couldn't be inside without breaking in, but he kept searching, unwilling to take any chances.</p><p>The house was chilling to the bone. It pierced through his numbed skin and sent shivers all over his body. Even the pain on his shoulder was dulled by the cold.</p><p>His heavy boots clunked against the wooden floor as he ran down the corridor and flung open doors, his shouts of Mingi's name fading into the air in small white puffs of steam. The porch was the last place he checked - he leaned over the railing and scoured the bushes behind it, but there was no one there.</p><p>Catching his breath, Yunho rushed out to the door again, leaving snowy footprints all over his empty house.</p><p>Urgency kept him going. Jongho hadn't called back yet, so Mingi had to be somewhere else. He went everywhere he could think of – Jongho's apartment building where they had the scuffle, the restaurant they had their first dinner together, the hiking spot where they watched the sunrise, the school Mingi worked at.</p><p>Each time he had to turn away, his heart grew heavier and his shoulder grew more rigid. The blood in his veins seemed to have frozen up and his mind was fuzzy as if frost had formed inside.</p><p>His sore legs were walking aimlessly now, towards an unknown destination that felt way too far away. Absentmindedly he tried phoning again, but despair had settled in and everything felt pointless.</p><p>The long bleats drilled into his ears as his restless pupils scanned his surroundings with desperation. When the sounds kept coming, a spark of hope ignited in his chest; it didn't cut straight to voicemail. His eyes landed on a fountain and some benches nearby. They looked familiar but he was too focused on the phone to find out why.</p><p>Then he heard a soft thump and his breath hitched. The call connected.</p><p>Suddenly everything cleared up. He squinted at the benches lined around the perimeter of the fountain and spotted it - a hint of blue peeking out from the bend. He was at the bank, the place he worked. And Mingi was there, where it all started.</p><p>"Mingi-!"</p><p>Mingi stood up in surprise and looked towards Yunho. When he saw Yunho coming he said hurriedly, "Stop." With a softer voice, he added, "Don't come closer."</p><p>Yunho froze on the spot, clutching his phone tightly. "It's okay. I'm alone. We can-"</p><p>"Talk?" Mingi finished for Yunho. "There's nothing more to say. You found out what happened."</p><p>"Yes, so now I can <em>help</em> you. There won't be any more misunderstandings," said Yunho, and immediately realized his mistake. He sounded too forceful, imploring almost.</p><p>Mingi said nothing for a long while. Yunho had to curl his toes to anchor his emotions, to hold himself back from running towards the fountain.</p><p>"I'm sorry..." Mingi's voice was choked. "I want to be alone." He turned away from Yunho and lowered the hand holding the phone.</p><p>Yunho saw a glimmer on Mingi's face right before it twisted away from view. "Wait!" he shouted, heart clenching. "You don't. You don't want to be alone. I won't let you be even if you want to. I won't let the same incident happen twice."</p><p>Reluctantly, Mingi raised the phone back to his ears. When he spoke Yunho could hear a smile in his voice. "You don't have to worry about that. I won't do that again, not after I met you."</p><p>The unexpected response made Yunho's heart race in a completely different way. He cursed himself for reacting inappropriately under such serious circumstances, but he couldn't help it - his stomach fluttered and heat rose up to his chest, making his wound throb all over again.</p><p>"You can't say that...it's not- it's not fair." Yunho angled his face and blinked, letting the wind dry his tears. "Then why won't you let me go to you? I want to help you. I have to."</p><p>Yunho saw Mingi's head dip as if stones were placed on his neck. "I remember everything, Yunho." Mingi's voice was so faint the microphone picked up the splashing of fountain water even better than the soft whisper. "Everything."</p><p>The ambient noises lowered into muffles when that word reached Yunho's ears. He found himself holding his breath.</p><p>Next to the fountain, Mingi squeezed his free hand into a fist, grabbing a handful of his black topcoat with it. It still trembled slightly. "I remember what I did to the stray cats and the random people in those back alleys. I remember how I grabbed you, how I tried to hit you, the things I said to you..." There was a long pause here as he struggled to push the words out. "How could I let myself near you anymore?"</p><p>Yunho forced himself to exhale as slowly as possible. "But it wasn't you. It was your second personality."</p><p>"Yes, but it was in <em>my </em>body. You saw <em>my </em>face and heard <em>my </em>voice when I did and said those things. It's still me. I can't deny that." Mingi's voice was firm as steel, and in it was immutable resignation.</p><p>"No it wasn't," Yunho said, hoping he sounded steady despite the tremor he felt in his throat. "Don't you remember what I said? I know who the real you is. You don't hurt people. It's just not you."</p><p>"Stop saying that!" Mingi snapped his head up, lifting his free hand to ruffle his hair in frustration. He was standing a bit too close to the fountain; a few drops splashed out onto his body occasionally.</p><p>The outburst induced a sharp sting in Yunho's injured shoulder as he jolted involuntarily. He thought he felt warmth oozing out from the area, though he wasn't sure if he could trust his oversensitive nerves right now. </p><p>"I havethe memories, Yunho," continued Mingi, lowering his voice from regret. "I can see myself hurting innocent people. I know you're trying to understand, but it's totally different when you know what you did. When there's someone else inside you that might take over any moment and make you a maniac. I remember the shocked faces and the terrified screams, I'm danger-"</p><p>"I understand," Yunho interrupted calmly. "It's not nearly as extreme as your situation, but I've been there too. I thought I was friendly, helpful, and patient, but I became incompetent, weak, and useless when I receive a bad call in my job. I didn't know who I was, and it was you who told me."</p><p>Mingi shifted on his feet. Yunho caught the subtle relief that relaxed his shoulders and hands, so he went on, even though he couldn't quite believe these words would come out of <em>his </em>mouth.  "What people think of you doesn't make who you are. Besides, what about the students you teach? Your colleagues? And me? We all think you are considerate, kind, and caring."</p><p>He got suddenly shy and turned around, not wanting to see Mingi's reaction. "The second personality came out after your father passed away, which means <em>this </em>is the real and original you." There was one final thing he wanted to say but a snowflake drifting down in front of his eyes distracted him. He held out a hand and it landed on his palm, melting instantly into a chill that traveled up his arm.</p><p>Looking around, he realized it was snowing. He smiled and finished his thought, not even noticing the click that indicated the call has ended, nor the presence that was coming up behind him.</p><p>"...The one I love."</p><p>And at that precise moment, a shade passed over him and he turned, confused.</p><p>A soft gasp escaped his lips when he saw Mingi, standing centimeters away, holding his coat above their heads.</p><p>The warm sense of déjà vu that spread through Yunho colored his cheeks with a faint pink. He put the phone back in his pocket with a smile on his face. "Are you crazy? You must be freezing cold. Put that back on."</p><p>Mingi grinned but shook his head. "I listened to you for long enough. Let's get you to the hospital."</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Next Sunrise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yunho gets treated in the hospital and gets to spend the second half of Christmas Day with Mingi. As they watch another sunset together, Yunho feels as if they had finally reached the end, but who knows? It might just be the beginning of another new journey.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yunho sat on a temporary bed in the hospital. His shoulder wound, cleaned and wrapped in bandages, didn't hurt anymore, though it still ached if he tried to raise his arm above his chest.</p><p>"Stop staring at it." He chuckled, looking at Mingi. "It won't heal faster if you do."</p><p>"I know." Mingi tore his gaze away carefully. "I still can't believe I did that to you. I- I'm..." He trailed off and stared at his fingers that were fiddling with the fabric of his pants.</p><p>"Hey," Yunho said, leaning forward to take Mingi's hand. It was like slipping into a furry glove - always warm and comfortable. "I'm fine. This is nothing compared to what you had to go through."</p><p>Mingi stiffened at that. The memories of what he has done were still fresh in his mind, like hundreds of needles pointed at the inside of his skull - not lethal, but not pleasant at all. They also gnawed at his heart, a constant reminder that he had hurt so many people without even being aware of his actions.</p><p>"I'm happy enough to know that you'll never do it again," Yunho added, emphasizing the 'you'<em>.<br/></em></p><p>A squeeze on his hand made Mingi look up. He saw a reassuring smile on Yunho's lips and immediately his eyes began to sting with tears. Knowing those tears would fall if he spoke, he tightened his grip on Yunho's hand too, hoping that would somehow transfer his thoughts across.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you for forgiving me - I don't deserve it but thank you for doing it so I have a chance to forgive myself.<br/></em>
</p><p>A ringtone spared Mingi the need to actually say anything. Using his free hand, he took his phone and checked the caller ID. After a moment of hesitation, he said, "It's San."</p><p>He slackened his other hand but Yunho held on. "Give me the phone after you're done. I want to talk to him."</p><p>Mingi glanced up in surprise but obliged and nodded as he lifted the phone to his ear. "Hello?"</p><p>There was a long silence before San spoke. "I'm sorry I took so long to call you. When you ran out I thought you wanted to be alone, and I thought I was the last person you'd want to listen to. But Yunho's friend came back and told me Yunho found you and I was just so glad-"</p><p>"It's okay," Mingi cut off before his flatmate could ramble any further. San sounded so different, so anxious and worried. The usual confidence and firmness he had when he told Mingi to take his medications and stay home at night was gone. "You told me the truth in the end. You stayed with me all these years just to give me a somewhat normal life. I can't ask for more."</p><p>When San spoke again his voice was choked. "Yes you can. Even if you don't I will still do more for you. I will help you get proper treatment. You deserve to be happy with Yunho, so I'm sorry for trying to ruin that. I'm sorry for everything."</p><p>"I get it. You were just trying your best," Mingi said with a smile. Then he looked at Yunho and added, "Don't hang up yet, Yunho wants to talk to you."</p><p>Yunho took the phone from Mingi, feeling nervous all of a sudden. He released his hold on Mingi's other hand and diverted his gaze to an empty bed across him. </p><p>For a while neither of them said anything. Yunho could feel the awkwardness creeping through the phone speaker, making him shift uncomfortably on his bed. He took a deep breath and mustered the courage to say, "I'm sorry-"</p><p>"You were right," said San at the same time.</p><p>Flustered, the word slipped out of Yunho's mouth. "What?"</p><p>"Everything you said this morning," replied San. Each word ended abruptly as if he wasn't quite sure if he was saying the right thing. "I thought I knew what was best for Mingi, but clearly not."</p><p>"No." Yunho straightened up. "I mean, I understand that you just wanted to do everything you could. I understand why you wanted to keep the truth from him, so I'm sorry for shouting at you back then."</p><p>San let out a bitter chuckle. "It's fine. I probably deserved that." He paused here and Yunho could hear his soft breathing. "I already told Mingi that I'll help him with his treatment and everything, so don't worry about that. Just focus on...being with him, I guess. You're better at that than I am. This sounds weird but thank you for believing him all this time. I've never seen him so happy before."</p><p>At that, Yunho turned to face Mingi, who was meticulously refolding Yunho's blood-stained coat for the third time since they arrived. Yunho felt the corners of his lips lift up naturally. "I know."</p><p>He hung up and returned Mingi's phone just in time for Jongho to appear from behind the blue curtains.</p><p>"What took you so long?" Yunho said lightly, but Jongho ignored it and regarded Mingi with a stony face.</p><p>"Can I talk to you for a moment?" His voice was flat.</p><p>Mingi placed down the coat and tried to maintain a neutral expression as he looked at Jongho. The air tightened with tension when they met each other's gazes, eyes snapping together with electrifying friction.</p><p>"Jongho, what's wrong?" Yunho glanced warily at Jongho.</p><p>"In private," said Jongho curtly. He turned around and walked away without checking to see if Mingi was following.</p><p>"You don't-"</p><p>"It's okay," Mingi reassured Yunho. "He has every right to hate me, and I should apologize to him too." Then he followed Jongho out before Yunho could say anything else.</p><p>Yunho sighed soundlessly, which turned into a yawn. He was exhausted; he thought everything would be over immediately after San told the truth, but things turned out to much more complicated. <em>Relationships </em>were complicated.</p><p>His heart clenched slightly at that thought, from love and something like guilt. Maybe nothing would've happened if he hadn't met Mingi, if he had ignored the special call and forgotten about it the next day. Maybe no one would've gotten hurt, including Jongho's friend Yeosang. But that also meant his and Mingi's lives would stay the same, and neither of them was following a particularly bright path.</p><p>And things <em>have</em> changed. Yunho looked around him, at the plain ceiling and bare walls, the old blankets on the impersonal beds, and the consistent blue and white theme of the building. It was the second time this month he found himself in a similar setting, but instead of feeling cold and detached like last time, he felt warm and comfortable.</p><p>He wasn't feeling sore as if he was just in a car crash, for one. So he reached over to the visitor chair and picked up the plastic bag Mingi gave him during their car ride here. Inside was the mirror Mingi gave him - the second one, the one he spurned.</p><p>The lid came unhinged from the fall, so Yunho took out the second half. He flipped it over carefully, expecting spiderwebs of cracks.</p><p>Instead, he saw a smooth glass surface, unblemished and shiny as if polished recently.</p><p>"Miracle, isn't it?" Mingi's voice startled Yunho out of his own thoughts. He examined his reflection in the mirror. Other than a few loose strands, his black hair fell neatly on his forehead, complementing his near-black irises. His eyes were like marbles, shining under the ceiling lights like the bright smile on his lips. </p><p>"What did you talk about?" Yunho asked, looking up. "Where's Jongho?"</p><p>"Well, he told me he'll not let me go if I hurt you again, and I apologized for hurting his friend," Mingi said, eyes still fixed on the mirror in Yunho's hands. Yunho stared at Mingi intently, knowing from the way he avoided eye contact that he was hiding something. Before he could say anything about that, Mingi continued, "He says he wants to leave the rest of the day to us."</p><p>"What does that mean?" Yunho raised his eyebrows.</p><p>"It's Christmas, remember?" Mingi looked at Yunho properly now, holding all their belongings in his hands. "Let's pay your medical fees and go have fun."</p><p> </p><p>It was late afternoon by the time they had something to eat and decided where to go.</p><p>Yunho, holding a soft puppy plushie - Mingi's Christmas present for him - sat down on a bench facing the sea. Mingi was walking slowly across the promenade towards him, his own present the woolen scarf wrapped around his neck.</p><p>He took a seat next to Yunho and handed him a plastic spoon for the cup of ice cream they were about to share. It was cold, especially with the icy wind blowing from the open sea just beyond the harbor, but eating the dessert still felt like a must-do during winter.</p><p>"Oh-!" Mingi's hand tensed around the cup, his other frozen in midair as he squeezed his eyes and parted his lips. "Brainfreeze," he explained once it was over.</p><p>Yunho laughed, licking his spoon clean with no trouble. A chill spread through him but it was worth the sweet taste and the dopamine rush that came with it. He turned to Mingi, who was already scooping more ice cream as if nothing had happened.</p><p>"So what is it?" Yunho asked, staring at the other's side profile. The Christmas lights along the fence at the edge of the promenade made Mingi's skin glow blue, green, and yellow, yet his hair and eyes caught the last of the sun's rays and were speckled with gold.</p><p>"What's what?" Mingi said, staring out at the sea, its calm surface the same color as his hair.</p><p>"What did you <em>really</em> talk about with Jongho back then? Because you can tell me if he said anything mean." Another gust of wind assailed them, messing up both of their hair.</p><p>"No, he didn't upset me." Mingi placed the ice cream down on the bench next to his lap but continued admiring the scene in front of him. "He apologized. He felt sorry for blaming me when I have a legitimate medical condition." He faced Yunho properly now, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "But I feel sorry too. Having dissociative identity disorder doesn't give me an excuse to hurt people. So I'm going to turn myself in to the police."</p><p>Silence settled in between them. There was only the roar of rushing water hitting the stone walls of the port and distant chatter of people celebrating outdoors.</p><p>"Oh," Yunho finally said, looking down at his lap. "I'm glad you're doing the right thing," he managed to add. And it was true; it was him who wasn't prepared.</p><p>Mingi slipped a hand between Yunho's loosely interlocked ones. "I'm only doing this because I know you'll wait for me."</p><p>Heart fluttering, Yunho dropped the plushie and angled his body to hug Mingi. "Of course. I've gotten used to waiting for you every night."</p><p>Everything around them dimmed as the sun dipped further below the horizon. The boats parked near the harbor silhouetted against the sky, now a purple and pink backdrop that added to the colorful Christmas lights.</p><p>They released each other but Yunho barely got time to breathe before Mingi cupped his hands around his face and leaned down to connect their lips. Yunho could still taste the sweetness of the vanilla ice cream against the soft, plump flesh.</p><p>Then, as quickly as it happened, Mingi pulled away and stood up, becoming another silhouette against the sunset. Despite his efforts, his brown eyes betrayed a hint of wariness as he eyed the darkening sky.</p><p>"I should probably go now. But wait for me." He looked down at Yunho, and with a smile, he finished, "Until the next sunrise."</p><p> </p>
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